Sometimes its hard to believe  

rm_takmot 67M
10 posts
7/8/2006 12:14 pm

Last Read:
3/7/2007 9:27 pm

Sometimes its hard to believe

I see a lot of people that already have family, kids at least, and they describe the difficulties of being intereseted in dating, but with the frustrating difficulty of scheduling a date around the children's itenery. I don't have a child, I have a 92 year old father that I care for and I would guess that is as or sometimes more frustrating than a child. Neither reason or sustain a mood of helpfulness for an extended amount of time. I can plan a date with all details covered then have to cancel due to my fathers last second trip down memory lane of 60 years ago and can not be left alone in that state of mind. He doesn't drive anymore and kids haven't started driving both WANT to drive like an obsession. I had to give away his car so he wouldn't be tempted to try. He still drives my golf cart if I can talk him into going with me when I play. He is ok as long as he keeps his foot on the gas and the brake and doesn't get his foot off and onto the cup holder by mistake. Don't laugh that happened and nearly went into a pond around one of the greens. I am sure it looked Chevy Chase like as we thundered down the slope towards the pond.
Thing is once you tell someone you care for an elderly parent they immediately get the impression that you are not available for spontaneous get togethers. For the most part that is a correct assumption. Humor intended. But its not impossible and he can be quite interesting to a visitor to the house. If I go to a movie, right afterwards I swing by to check on him and if everything is still ok, the date continues smoothly. If he is off his mood or health its pretty obvious that I have to take my date home as soon as it is possible and try to opoligize for the shortened evening. Due to this situation a usual relationship lasts for approximately 4 dates of which 10 others might have been scheduled but canceled. Of the 4, 2 ended short. I do not mind paying for a dad watcher, don't get me wrong, but its almost impossible to find such a person, esp that will stay at night with an old person that rambles about 1935 like it was yesterday.
I really have a high regard for those parents that work around the kids lives and still strive for a normal, or what can be considered normal anyway, life. To find that special person that can juggle along with you is quite extraordinary. I know the people I have dated are certainly that.

My spell checker doesn't seem to be functioning today so if I mispelt some words, and I think I did, give me a break. thanks
Tom Kat


Always looking for new friends , new adventures and of course more fun.
Tom Kat


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
7/8/2006 2:46 pm

I have the utmost respect for you caring for your father. We have become such a throw away society, that old people just get "thrown" away too. Actually, you just gave me an idea for a business....and with my nursing background, it just might work. Keep your chin up Tom.....there is a woman out there who will appreciate the dedication that you have!


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