good vs bad  

rm_sweetone244 57F
583 posts
7/30/2006 2:17 pm
good vs bad

Why is it that bad memories almost always trump the good ones? As he and I discussed our pasts this weekend, I found myself coming up with bad after bad after worse memories of my 19 year marriage.

But things were good (great) at one point in time. I was completely in love, for years. Why don't I remember more of those good times? I sure as hell remember the bad ones. I remember words, secrets, actions that hurt me to the core.

As for the good memories, there are some that remain .. the birth of our kids, a few from our dating years. Random thoughts from throughout the marriage. But compared to the bad ending, the good memories are so outnumbered.

I look at the relationship I'm in now. I've been able to overlook and forgive some bad crap, all because the good I'm feeling at the moment is overshadowing any bad stuff. I can't image, years from now, if this is over, that I will look at this as all bad memories - that I could possibly forget his smile, his caring, the laughter and love that keeps me here. I can't imagine myself looking back and only remembering the one bad moment as the defining moment of this incredibly great relationship.

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