My Pink Ass: A Racism Forum  

rm_silkditty 67F
12408 posts
5/29/2006 3:23 pm
My Pink Ass: A Racism Forum

I'm going to talk about racism, so if you can't stand the heat, get out the kitchen! I don't expect this to be a popular forum, but hope to hear from thoughtful people.

LDFTB posted Quantum Leap on racism, which is inspiring me to attempt same. LDFTB's post opened with a Quantum Leap episode where white man was projected into a black man's body in the 1950's. LDFTB's premise: every white person should be black for day to understand what it's like.

I'd like to open the forum up to discussion of all kinds of racism, not just black/white, let's talk about all ethnic and religious groups Asians, Mexicans, Indians,Middle Easterners, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc. etc. etc.

For starters, I'll talk about my family, which has some United Nations tendencies. My sister has been married to a black man for over 20 years. My niece married a Chinese man. My brother's ex-wife married a Mexican, which means that my nephew and niece are growing up in Mexican culture as well as white. For awhile we thought brother might marry a Jewish woman, but that was not to be. I myself have had black lovers, one a long term relationship.

Despite the liberal tendencies of my family, I live in a white world where life is relatively simple and does not bruise me on a daily basis. I have never lived in a culture where I was a minority. (Except when I lived in Paris and was a polite person among rude assholes.)

Though I visit from time to time.

Allow me to introduce the White Englishman and the Chocolate Drop. I met the White Englishman while working for a TV movie company and soon met his wife, a black woman from New Orleans. I was immediately enchanted when I found out they lived in Watts. Over the years, the White Englishman and the Chocolate Drop have had their differences, moved all over the city, generally don't have the best luck managing their finances, and now currently live in South Central (think gangland!) The Chocolate Drop is big in the church, and has a huge network of friends and family who have accepted the White Englishman into the community.

The White Englishman and the Chocolate Drop invite me to various social occasions, so I haul my pink ass down to South Central from time to time. That's when I find out what it feels like to be one of a few white peeps afloat in a community of black people. What black people experience on a daily basis in a white world.

I never feel any overt hostility, but some make a point of avoiding me. Some are overly friendly. Others recognize me and it's a purely human interaction. It gives me a little taste of the reality of being a minority, though it's only for a few hours at a time and in a social setting, versus, say a competitive job market.

So, how about you?

What are your thoughts on racism?

What are your experiences with racism?

What kind of experiences have you had where you were a minority?

If you are not white, does what I've written irritate you, and if so, why? (I'm lookin' to open a dialogue to stimulate understanding)

goboi_go 56M

5/29/2006 9:14 pm

As Chris Rock says, "There ain't no white man out there that would want to be me, and I'm rich." Though not entirely accurate, he reflects the pushed down feeling of blacks. I would submit that not only should whites, but blacks of today too should be displaced into the 1950's not only to see where they were but how far they have come, the forced opportunities that have been squandered, how they have failed where other minorities are thriving now in their neighborhoods. Is it their legacy of slavery or is it ingrained?? Chris Rock makes fun of it but with his wry smile he is a man that sees the big pic. In general, I think whites are afraid of blacks plain and simple.

I come out of the countryside and I drive through Columbia, DC and Baltimore Md regularly and there are nothing but minorities, blacks, asians, driving huge suv's wearing bling, the in luxury..very few whites.. I cannot relate to the culture thing until I went to Memphis TN last summer.

I have been reversed discriminated, held down for promotion and disciplined (that was funny) in favour of blacks and mainly women, at a government subcontractor facility, who had no college education and had, at one time, been my subordinates but were pushed through the ranks to fill quotas. That's ok, Im semi-retired and they are still working and the black EEO officer got fired for sexual harrassment. Talk about ssWEEEET

In my senior year of HS I was a returning starter on an all-black basketball team with a black coach and only 2 white cheerleaders. The asshole cut me, my friend's dad complained to the school board, he called me in to let me back on telling me he just wanted to scare me. My teammates told me they asked him for an all black team but I "clawed my way back on". I got all-county that year and the coach got fired cause they were watching him. btw, in the locker room, their cocks aren't all big that is a myth, they hovered over me as I talked about eating pussy like wide-eyed little boys and my best friend on the team had 1500 in the SAT's and was pissed because he heard they gave him an extra 100 because he was black. I didn't know that. His father was a national monopoly champion. The father and son were both geniuses and athletes.

I have never been attracted to black women and they have never liked me. There are a few on tv that look good but.... Black women are intensely loyal even in the face of blatant cheating by "their man".

My last bit is about a funeral I attended for an employee's mother at a black church. I went with one white guy and 2 white women. We were not welcomed at all, but pushed our way through - we weren't there for them we were there for him. I heard 2 old black women referring to my friend saying "look at that white boy he don't know where he is". But the happy ending is that my buddy saw us pushed into the corner, smiled widely, waved us over and said loudly "hey guys, thanks for coming". A few people looked around and forced a smile.

There's much more but Im finished.

goboi_go 56M

5/29/2006 10:16 pm

and as far as the white cheerleaders...well, let's just say they huddled pretty close to moi during bus trips and not for protection.

Drofpussology4u 60M
4843 posts
5/30/2006 2:47 am

My grandmother was a white woman, my grandfather, Cherokee and African. I am thus classified a Black man.

My father was murdered by the KKK. Five years before, they nearly killed me when they bombed my church. The explosion went off during Sunday school and killed four of my classmates. One of them had a piece of concrete embedded in her head. Another had her head blown completely off. You can watch a movie about it. It is called "FOUR LITTLE GIRLS" by Spike Lee. I was five years old when the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church was destroyed in Birmingham, Alabama in 1963. Our current Secretary of State is also a survivor.

I became very violent as a teen. Gangs I belonged to used to seek out Whites and randomly stop and beat the hell out of them. We were filled with hate. I am very ashamed.

My brother, looked white. When we went into Black neighborhoods, he got the crap beat out of him. When we went to white ones, they beat ME up.

I joined the Navy in 1975. They were telling jokes about "Evil Kaneval jumping Niggers" when I reported aboard my first ship. They made my life hell for the years I sailed in my ship. I was beaten senseless one evening by a group of sailors as I went into a dark storage area. I faced many, many indignities during my 25 years in the Navy, up to the day I got out and retired in 2001. I served in the latter days of Vietnam, Bosnia, Panama, Libya, Lebanon, Tel Aviv, The North Arabian Sea, The Iran Iraq War...all toll, eleven combat cruises in six warships. I lost 77 shipmates.

I still cannot play golf on the Birmingham Golf course. People like me are not allowed.

I remember the signs for colored only and white only. When I was with my grandmother, I could go into the front entrance. Otherwise, with my noticeably darker mother, I had to go in the back entrance and wait in the colored waiting area and sit on the back of the bus.

My father was murdered because niggers were not allowed to be successful in business. My friends were murdered because they were little Black girls. Many of us carry the scars, some of us do not wear them well.

During a port visit to Bangkok, four of my sailors over dosed on drugs. I went to the Iran Iraq War short of a few supervisors in my radar navigation team. I volunteered to go into a Navy mental health professional course. I found that the Navy pioneered much of the mental health science that we benefit from today.

I became very good at this and completed my internship four months early. I served five years at sea as a navigator then three years ashore as a behavioral health treatment specialist for the rest of my career.

Eventually, I became an instructor and traveled around the world teaching workshops on Cultural Issues and how they related to addiction. I discovered the following during my travels.

I learned that their are four behavior classifications (descriptive terms) in every culture.

Acculturated - Don't like being white or black or hispanic or gay or what ever they are, what to change something (no right or wrong here). They tend to adopt characteristics of other cultures. To put on suntan lotion or skin bleaching creame is an example of acculturated behavior. Michael Jackson could be an example of this.

Bi-Cultural - Tend to inter-racially marry. Associate with other races at work and at home too. We see many examples of this. David Bowie, the inter-racial groups here on this site.

Cultural Immersed - Tend to want to separate from other cultures and they come in two flavors:

Nationalistic: Do "positive" things within the culture to foster independence (NAACP, Far Right Republican Party, NOW Women's groups could be examples of this).

Deviant: Attack other cultures. Violence used. (KKK, some factions of Skin Heads, The Tamils in India, The PLO, The Irish Republican Army). You will see this all over the world.

The final behavior classification is called Traditional. They see themselves as American, or Italian or Canadian and no particular race. I have met Blacks from small towns in Alabama or whites in small Montana towns who have not traveled far and not interacted much with other cultures. The God-Parents of my children are Italian (my children were born in Europe), the become very offended when they are called white, they are Italian.

Which one are you?

In facilitating these workshops, I would ask this question. Almost all unanimously would say that they are bi-cultural or traditional.

The bottom line is we are ALL of them. That's right. But we do not talk about it.

As an African American or Black man, there are things about my culture that embarrass me. We go around calling each other nigger. We call our women hos. The graffiti. I recognize my acculturated behavior.

I have been in many inter-racial relationships. If you come to my home on a Sunday morning, you will see Jews, Hispanics, Whites, Blacks having breakfast all together, some having spent the night. Bi/Multiculturalism.

I am a member of the NAACP and if you put me in the middle of a race riot where I was being attacked, I am capable of incredible violence. Cultural Immersion.

I served this country for 25 years and spent 5 years of my life at sea in its warships. I am certainly American.

I have learned that we all have the same challenge: to forgive those who trespass against us, even in the face of them trespassing against us. Some do it on purpose, some do not know what they are doing or saying is offensive, some are just ignorant. We are all ignorant in our own way. Some other party is/can be offended by our actions, no matter how well intended our purpose.

During a riot, my grandmother at age 67 was beaten by firemen and police as we came out a grocery store at the wrong time. As I helped her gather what was left of the groceries and helped her wring out our long black hair that came down to her waist on her 4'10" frame she told me, "Son, don't you ever hate". I could not believe her! What the hell do you mean...I thought to myself....they just beat you!

She was right. African Americans are destroying ourselves with high murder rates. The KKK does not have to do anything to us anymore.

Now I understand my grandmother: "Hate kills the hater, those who hate us never win, until we hate them, that is when we destroy ourselves"...Richard Nixon (upon getting impeached).

These words are so true. America is blind to the real issues. We do not talk about them. We do not know how to develop a dialog so the wounds go untreated.

Hitler practiced genocide against the Jews and Americans look smugly against him. Americans practiced genocide against the Native Americans and the 50 million slaves that were murdered are not mentioned when the 25 million jews are talked about daily on the History channel that died in "The Holocaust" (is it not ONE of the holocausts)...remember Bosnia, Sudan, Andalusia need I go on?

We never got our forty acres and a mule and this country has no tribute to the SLAVES who put the Statue of Freedom ..... let me say that again...SLAVES who put the Statue of Freedom on top of the capitol building in Washington DC.

George Washington owned slaves as did Thomas Jefferson. Some people's heroes are my villains and I got d's and f's on my term papers in college because I would not write that some of these heroes were leaders of freedom.

DeeepPenaTrayR "The Pussologist"[blog DeeepPenaTrayR]

ldftb1 36M
214 posts
5/30/2006 3:30 am

First of all let me say that Race and Culture are 2 very different things.
As far as I AM concerned if you are JEW,Italian, Irish or Redneck for that matter, you are WHITE, so an for example an italian or irish man marry a Jewish or spanish woman makes absolutely no difference to me as they are still the same colour but it is more like fascism where one white colour feels Superior to another, quite frankly (to be cruel) i don't feel sorry for them as we get it even worse for being a totally different colour.
A greek (white by the way. lol) said the holocaust is worst than 200 years of slavery, i shut him down and told him he knew nothing and if he ever wanted to continue to be my friend, then he needs to not talk crap like that with me.

An example of my experience as a black man in todays London (England) - while taking a motorcycle test (dressed in a orange high visibility jacket) i waved at a kid in a passing car as he was staring at me, i had forgotten the incident when all of a sudden a speeding car approaches me, i shit myself thinking it would run me over but stops right at my feet, the driver rolls down the window and asked if i gave his 10 year old son the finger, i said no, he then says i better not have, i explained what happened then he threatens me and calls me a BLACK CUNT as he drives off, all that in front of his son, what kind of example did he set for the little boy, and what will he say to the kid when his school calls him in for a meeting about his son being racist, will he pat him on the head and say well don't?

I also worked in many places were am the only black guy there and one thing i refuse to do is bow down to the white people above me in rank and kiss their ass, fuck that, i let them know am black and bloody proud of it and proud of my african heritage, i don't even sign the equality shit on the back of application forms, i alway put other or put N/A as my race should never come into play when i apply for a job.

Now my name is the one that tops it all as i don't even have an english name, i have been blessed with totally african names so can you imagine my application forms when i apply for a job, i think they just look at the name and tear it up. Not that that has stopped me and getting a new job, but i do feel that i might have done better if i am not black, but believe that i will get there eventually.

I strongly believe that the world will never change, not as long as there are people wanting to control other peoples minds and people don't want to accept that everybody is equally and you should treat people as you would like to be treated.

ohcurious14 60M  
1684 posts
5/30/2006 2:36 pm

What are your thoughts on racism? Racism definately exists, unfortunately. Parts of it because of of what was instilled in us and part of it because we are witnesses to it daily.

What are your experiences with racism? I used to work for a Company that had very few black people working there and it saddened be deeply to hear the snide remarks about it would look better if they had a token black person working there. And to top it off the General Manager was a racist himself. This guy was a 1st class asshole as well. He is lucky he was not sued for some of his remarks.

I went to a Rock Concert back in mid 70's in a community known for not liking blacks and there was a common understanding a black person would be in trouble for ever stepping foot in this town. There was 1 black person at this concert and it just so happened I saw him in the restroom. We actually left the retroom at same time and I acknowledged his prescence and small talk began. The man was very out-going, not boisterous and i could feel some of the stares he too was getting. I was raised to treat everyone with the same respect and that's exactly what I was doing. Did I care about the dirty looks I was getting? Hell no. I was being polite and talking to a fellow male not a black person or as was heard often, "nigger."

What kind of experiences have you had where you were a minority? I used to shoot pool at pool halls in the south end of town by the housing projects. I was only white person in this pool hall.Intimidated at 1st, yes. Did I continue to do it? yes.

When in the South End shooting pool with the black folk, do what they always do, Shoot Pool!!!

If you are not white, does what I've written irritate you, and if so, why? (I'm lookin' to open a dialogue to stimulate understanding) None of what you have written bothers me at all. I am glad I visited and it won't be my last visit either.

rm_ajahn2 66M
69 posts
5/30/2006 3:52 pm

Here's a view to consider...

Education could be the only answer

(...c'mon the peacetrain!)


May ALL beings be at ease
Yusif is coming...

wickedeasy 68F  
31091 posts
5/30/2006 5:29 pm

a friend of mine was house sitting (and cat sitting - grins) for me while i was on a business trip. Al is a 6'5" black man, with a deep low voice, who loves jazz and whose woman is a 5'2" jewish lady (and i do mean lady) my paperboy came to collect for the paper - saw Momo ( my son's name for him - kinda cute, eh?) and ran for home. fifteen minutes later, my friend is looking at 6 - count 'em - 6 cops on my porch.

would that have happened if he were white? asian? gay? nope

there are some folks in this not so equal country of ours who fight the "ism" way more frequently and harder than the rest of us. i've dealt with sexism. it sucks. but no one ever stopped me while i was driving just cause i was a woman.

i'm with MzHuny - when in the name of all that is right and real will we ever just get over this c... .

a footnote - if i am walking down a street at night and i am alone - i cross the street if i see a bunch of kids headed my way. am i more likely to do it if they are black? yes -

so i'm a fucking racist too - but i'm working on it - really i am

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

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