Excerpts From An Email  

rm_shelby0562 55F
16 posts
6/28/2006 3:30 am

Last Read:
6/28/2006 3:39 am

Excerpts From An Email


I have a cousin who long ago opened the closet door on her homosexual orientation. I decided to share my recent experience with her and the flood-gate of conversation opened. She just happened to be going through some stuff, and I felt that the thoughts I shared with her may benefit others. To all those in search of a little erotica, my apologies, but someone out there may need to hear this today.

About feeling like every platonic relationship is “based on a lie.”
Consider for a moment two woman chatting at work, both feeling a sense of “sisterhood” if you will, though still relatively superficial and one says to the other, “Oh, by the way, I’m heterosexual.” Ridiculous! So why, when our orientation is otherwise, is there an unwritten directive to “announce” such orientation? This is “intimate” information that no one is “obligated” to divulge (in my humble opinion). It is not a lie of omission. Apply this same analogy to my dating black men. Every once in a while, someone would saddle up next to me after meeting whoever I was dating and suggest I should have told them. I would respectfully disagree and point out that I would never carry-on a conversation infiltrating hints like “oh by the way he’s white” or “my boyfriend (he’s white) thinks….” Those that were “put off” were “put off”. Sianara! Those that weren’t, were more likely to become closer friends and be worthy of it.

About Intimate Relationships.
So often, in our desire to find the “perfect” relationship (however, we define that at the time), we choose a person and try to make the relationship work. I have only recently figured out that I’ve had it backwards all this time. Just as the heterosexual community has defined the “right” kind of relationship as man, woman, marriage, baby ‒ in that order; I’ve no doubt that the lesbian community has established its societal ideal of the “right” kind of relationship. But here’s the bottom line: do you get what you need from the relationship, societal concepts aside.

In my search for candidates with whom to conduct my own experimentation, I have come across MANY couples, married or otherwise, man/woman, woman/woman, who are quite confident in their relationship and committed to each other. Many view this lifestyle erroneously ‒ that the very desire to include 3rd persons, or “swap” partners, is an indicator of a weakness in the relationship. I beg to differ. My point is, while you’ve shed the confines of the heterosexual perception of commitment, in its place is yet another set of “rules”. If those rules are yours, great. If not, get rid of them.

I've changed my settings to allow for non-network comments. When I started this blog, I honestly didn't think that anyone outside my network would even be interested. My apologies to all who may have been offended by their exclusion.

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