Sometimes I go away.....  

rm_sharksnsails 47M
697 posts
5/20/2006 12:16 pm

Last Read:
5/31/2006 8:50 pm

Sometimes I go away.....

"In my mind I'm going to Carolina...." ( Jim Croce)

I wonder what it would be like to live out one of my fantastic dreams, popularity, a loving wife, children at christmas, a little bar in the tropics, a boat. It doesn't seem like much, yet it seems elusive, trade offs must be made. Like 'bar in tropics' doesn't seem to go hand in hand with 'children at christmas', and 'wife' doesn't seem to go with 'boat'. so I ask myself "Why am I back here offshore again?" and yet I know. I am doing what sailors called "Tacking" that is beating up-wind. a boat goes upwind sailing back and forth, the sails working against the keel so that the net result is up wind (windward) - but the going is slow and the effort is great. A student loan to pay off, what bull shit! The only thing the education seems to have benifited me is a job that pays just enough more to make my monthly student loan payments. I pay child support every month for a kid I cant see grow up or participate in raising. Isn't this like buying an expensive model plane but then someone else gets to build it and paint it and fly it? Once they take your kid and take your freedom what do they leave you with? Stuff. Look at all this great stuff you get for your subservient obiedence .... like this great radio that picks up music from space so you can hear music while you sit alone on a rig.... Wait a minute, if I had just fucked 'em all off I could hear music from a 3 dollar harmonica while I sat around a campfire with friends, any time I wanted..... then they say ... "Well, o.k. here is a great car..." and I say "Right so now I can drive to work to make the car payments, and barely afford the gas, which just means more work, and still less likely to be able to go anywhere but...(work)" then they say "Here is health insurance" But the premiums are so high, and the service is so low, and wrought with paper work it really isn't worth the ulcer it gives me to take advantage of it, and even when I jump through all the hoops, and pay all the premiums they call it a pre existing condition and don't cover it. Yet aren't all conditions "pre existing" in the sense that you really don't need the doctor until after you get them? I mean I have never gone to the doctor and been like,,, "Call my insurance and bill them for the cancer I'm going to have in 3 months, and by the way, I'm going to need some antibiotics for an STD I will get next thursday." This society is devoid of any real benifit for the average worker, the american dream is a sham, and we are all fools. The oil companies and our morally bankrupt government squeeze us for every drop of spirit and energy while they use the surplus to spread thier viral contamination, the "American way of life" to every corner of the globe. Let's cut down some trees and put up a super highway through the rain forest so that people who live in a low security suburban prison can drive thier behemoth tank like cars to a job they hate at glaxo-kline discovering the cure to a type of virus, by synthesizing an artificial protien that works almost as good as the protien found in the sap of that tree we cut down to make the freakin' highway. (The cure we would all use to cure the problem if the FDA would allow it, or if there weren't anti-drug factions fighting any hippy herbal remedies") anyway I understand that while it is not a cure, the glaxo-kline medicine is better at relieving the symptems (side efects how-ever include anal bleeding, halitosis, ulcers, headaches nausiea, erectile disfunction, liver failure in some patients, nose run, flatulance, and sleep disorder) By the way, my parents are upset because I owe them money that I spent taking care of my wife and kid through college (and some for thier help when I got busted with that weed (15,ooo dollars in lawyers, fines, and court costs .....) and yes I will pay them back, but what about the 7 trilion dollar national debt thier generation is handing ours? I mean lectures about "Financial responsibility?"..... Can't I just get my useless degree in business and economics on hemp paper, hand one to everybody, and call it even? My co-worker(trainee) has resisted training and work so well that I have given up trying to train him, I just send him off. 'GET OUT OF MY HAIR , YOUR "LAWERY ARGUEMENTS" SERVE ME LESS WELL THAN IF YOU WOULD JUST DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!' (really) I guess God sent him to remind me that just because someone can offer compelling excuses and arguments why they didn't do shit for cleaning or getting any meaningful constructive work done, it is not the same as actually getting the work done. That was my marriage too! And funny how much this bastard reminds me of Dave -- someone who claimed to be my friend, but was really hangin' out waiting for an in with my wife. And she and he were such great friends......

The man in the streight jacket can't flip the bird, but he can still spit and cuss. Here is me hocking a big fucking lugee on OUR President, all of congress, most of the media, a good portion of the police, my bosses and the entire petroleum industry, the health industry, the auto industry, lawyers, insurance companies, FEMA, Fundamentalists everywhere, bitter old people, Haters, Fighters, Punks and thier attitudes (everyone with "attitude" 'gansta girls, city slickers... etc. (who fucking needs you?) "not I" says the cat) and the rest of those fuckers who despite any compelling argument represent a parasitic drag on the happy energy flow of the universe, and a proper "FUCK RIGHT THE FUCK - OFF!" to all of them in addition to that lugee.

I may serve this society but I don't support it, and doubt I ever will. There is a better way, you don't have to; and I certainly won't buy into thier bullshit, even IF they CAN make you live by thier rules.

(*gets off soapbox)
Thank You

P.S. and yes I am still just as happy, with life , just pissed off when I realize how bad America" fucked up what was supposed to be a pretty good ride.

PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
5/20/2006 5:16 pm

Europe isn't all that much better, in spite of the greater freedom of consumption in some places there.

Remember the idea we had? Let's make ourselves our own floating country, grow our own food and medicines hydroponically, and worship the volcano god of Mt. Wannahockaloogie.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

rm_sharksnsails 47M
738 posts
5/21/2006 1:59 pm

I'm sorry that I conveyed the meaning wrong flyaway....
Its not that life stinks... Its that life is great, and that we as a culture have been sold on a bunch of lies, and everything else being equal, left to our own devices, we should probably just fire the government and throw our TVs in the water. The more I go through life the more I realize that a few people getting rich are putting the screws to the masses. Everybody knows that high gas prices hurt single moms more than senators, that media glorifies the macabre, and that advertisers sell insecurity... (but they have a solution for $19.99). I am just sick of falling between the cracks to see how many people get lost, lonely and hurting because everybody needs to keep up with the Jones's. The rat race is over, the rats have won. Life doesn't suck! Go ask people who live on the beach, and catch fish for a living. Those who have fights but resolve thier differences with talk and listening not by making a bunch of lawyers rich. My good friend PK mentions how couples will spend many tens of thousands to get pregnant but adopt only as a last resort. I am saying that I, the leastest of people, can see these things are wrong -- something is seriously wrong with whats happening... too many people are being disgarded along the side of the super-highway of success that is being called progress and globalization. I don't have the answers, I just wonder, are people becoming too tired of asking the questions. Remember "Question Authority" but now the new patriotism kicks in and we are all dancing to the right, stepping on the toes of decency with every beat of the drum. Consider, I am so evil that I am not allowed to see my own kids. But even I still have sympathy for the poor addicted people I left behind after so brief a visit two months ago. I know thier pain, I know why they are there, I don't know why so many people think they can write them all off catagorically in a moment of judgemental self rightousness, and I certainly don't know where they get off thinking they are much better,(they are, in reality, only luckier). "Absolute power corrupts ... absolutely" and "Only when we have chopped the last orange tree, poisoned the last stream, and killed the last deer will we realise that we can't eat money" .... all of these great thoughts are transmitted to us from the past as a warning. I realize now that we will kill our mother earth before we leave her, or maybe a few will get to leave while the rest are left behind to die. As an animal we are not faring better than the roaches (maybe virus) I think. I just wanted it all (Americanism) to mean more than that. But alas I am American. and it is my duty not to think about the future, or poorer people in other countries ... not too much.


PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
5/30/2006 12:35 am

*HUG* I miss you.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

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