God's Voice  

rm_sexypinay16 45F
389 posts
2/10/2006 6:50 pm

Last Read:
1/19/2011 12:05 pm

God's Voice

Its been years that my life is in limbo. Its a mess. I am struggling to get out from a chains of my past, to get out from my cage.

There were series of relationships that I went through..sometimes they leave me breathless with pain and devastation. I made myself a possible prey to all those heartless men who were looking for not so serious stuff.

And me the hopeful romantic who greatly believes in love let myself fall and make a big clown out myself. There were times that I was so confused with my own feelings.

I can no longer differentiate the feelings of love , friendshp and admiration. All I know is I was longing to be loved and I ended up hurting all the time.

I was always asking God if He had reserved a person who will love me forever and I will love in return. I was telling Him how lonely and how scared I am. I was asking Him why people hurt me, why do they leave and stay away from me long before something will possibly start.

Scenes from my past flooded my mind..,relationships and men crowded my mind and heart...asking silently in my heart which is the right one.

But I know I couldnt find the answers that time...I was crying for all the pain they brought. I risked evything but no one seems to risk his evrything for me...I was asking God for a sign...for some answers...I let peace envelopes me...and let tears fall and let my heart rest .

In silence of my tormented heart and broken spirit ...An image came ..a name came out...the only one who could touch the depths of my soul and bring so much peace in my tormented heart.

Why him? God must be joking...I just let tears fall...I just let his image fill my mind. A voice in my heart toldme that I missed him..that i long for him.

I dont know why when my life is in limbo this image of man is coming...maybe he brought so much peace to my heart. With this man there was only pure friendship between us...a sacred one...a bonding that

I could not understand nor he could comprehend. I was leading my busy life ...going in and out of relationships and he was also busy with his own just like me.

All I know is I am hurting like hell when he is hurting. All I know the he scared the hell out of me when he is not around. All I know is I wanted him to be happy with the woman he loves though it hurts. That's why I ended up looking for relationships that could fill the void that he could not fill because I wanted him to be happy.

All I know is I felt his pain...i felt his longing..I felt his need to find his way home.
But why is it his vision fills my silent heart in this soulsearching moment? I dont have the answers...I dont want to know the answers.

Maybe God is telling me that of all the pains and bitterness He had blessed me with one great friend in him.

Love..Faith ..and Hope..

rm_emmanuel1201 47M
2 posts
2/10/2006 10:04 pm

True Friends may be hard to find but they are not hard to keep. In these lonely times, technology helps us keep in touch. Maybe on the other line they are also waiting for someone to comfort them, someone to talk to. Call, Write, Email, Text - it will help comfort your soul.

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