The Story of A Racist  

rm_sexxikritter 53F
888 posts
8/12/2006 9:53 pm

Last Read:
11/12/2006 11:11 am

The Story of A Racist

This is my reply to digdug41 's post entitled the nigga you luv to hate.

I was raised by a blatant racist. He didn't wear a bedsheet through the town at night, but he didn't have any problems throwing around the N word or telling racist jokes. He joined the Army in 1957 and when he got to boot camp, it was the first time he ever saw a person of color, other than a few Native Americans from his hometown.

Stationed in Germany, he had an altercation at a beer garden one night with a Black soldier. The fight concluded with the man punching my dad in the mouth and him losing his top front four teeth. My dad always laughed when recalling that story. The man who hit him got an infection in his hand from my dad’s teeth and eventually lost two fingers. I was so use to hearing THAT word that at two years old, I used it myself to tell a salesman at our door to go away.

When I was six, my mom’s twin sister left her husband and three sons to marry a Black man. Oh lawd, you should have heard the tongues wag on that one. Eventually, she left him and in the mid 70’s married another Black fellow. She brought him with her for a visit home. My grandfather would not allow her to bring him to his home so they stayed with us. We had a Black person in our home and my dad was beside himself. If it hadn't been for my mom putting her foot down, he would have followed my grandfather's lead. But he had enough sense to keep all those racist thoughts to himself, at least when Uncle Jimmy was around.

One day, I sat on the sofa next to Uncle Jimmy just staring at his hair. He finally told me that I could touch it if I wanted to. So, I did. It was like touching pure velvet. I was surprised and it showed on my face. He asked if I thought it would feel like a Brillo pad or something. I got so embarrassed but his smile told me it was ok. We all had great fun that week and somewhere in that time, I decided that my dad had been blowing smoke out his butt all those years.

Fast forward to the summer before junior year in high school and my aunt asked if I would like to live with her for a year. My parents agreed and I moved to Ypsilanti, Michigan. Talk about culture shock! This was the biggest town I had ever seen in all my 15 years. My high school was about even with Blacks and Whites and there were a few other races thrown in. In my American History class, taught by a Black man, all the students, except myself and a girl from Iran, were Black. Mr. Green opened my eyes so much that year. I learned more about Black American history in six weeks than I would have learned in six years at my home town school. My eyes were really being opened from this experience.

Most of my aunt and uncle’s friends were Black so I was immersed in Black culture. I learned how to eat “soul food” and even cook it. To this day, no holiday meal is complete without a big pot of collard greens with fat back and a pan of corn bread. I learned how to braid a little Black girl’s hair. Her momma used to send her down to me every Saturday with a wide tooth comb, a jar of Vaseline and hair elastics. I loved that little girl more than anything and became her big sis while I lived there. I was honored many years later when she gave her first daughter my middle name.

So, I moved back home for my senior year and came back with a wealth of knowledge about people, people living, loving, surviving and just having fun together. Several years later, my aunt’s health wasn’t good and she asked again if I would move in with her to help her out. I knew this would be a permanent move, I wouldn’t be coming back to small town America any time soon.

The last thing my dad said to me before I moved was “Don’t you be bringing any “N” babies home.” I told him that I IF I decided to have children, I wouldn’t be raising no “N”. That any child of mine would be taught to accept people on an individual basis and not to judge anyone by the actions of someone else. He just shook his head and repeated himself.

I am one of four girls in my family. Every one of us has dated men of color, Black, Latino, Arabic, Asian, Native American. One sister has two bi-racial children, a boy and a girl. At one time, three of us lived in the same area in south east Michigan and my parents and baby sister would come to visit. We used to hang out at a local donut shop. It was almost like a bar without the alcohol. I made a lot of good friends there, mostly men, mostly factory rats, mostly Black. The more my parents came to visit and the more exposure my dad got to different people, I could slowly see his racism chipping away. He even said once that he supposed those men weren’t much different than him. They were just working their butts off, taking care of their families. I was shocked!

And when Micheal (yes it’s spelled correctly, my sister is a dork and can’t spell for shit..LO was born, my dad melted even more. His first grandson’s daddy is Black. I’m not saying he is perfect. I know his thinking hasn’t changed completely. He still tries to tell me jokes starting off with “There were these three colored fellas….” I cut him off every time to ask what color they were and then ask him if this is a joke he would tell Micheal. That usually shuts him right up.

The point of my rambling on is that, yes, it is possible for folks of different colors and cultures to live together and to get along. It is possible to teach an old dog new tricks. And it is possible for a man to still harbor feelings of racism but hold in his heart a fierce love for a person of another color.

I’ve heard it said that there are only two base emotions from which all others stem, love and fear. Fear begets ignorance and hatred. I believe that my dad’s racism comes from fear of the unknown. He wasn’t exposed to people who are different. That difference, that unknown, made him fearful and that fear manifested itself as hatred.

I heard a woman on Oprah say once that we cannot keep referring to America as a melting pot. That mixes everything together and the individual ingredients lose what makes them unique. She offered that we should instead be called a salad bowl. We should want the ingredients-lettuce, the cucumbers, the tomatoes-to maintain their identity. We should appreciate the differences.

I don’t think we should be color blind, to say to someone that we don’t see them as Black or Brown or whatever. How can we not? It’s right there in our face. We need to see that color, see that culture, see that difference, appreciate it and celebrate it.


NSAAddict 43F

8/12/2006 10:40 pm

This is a wonderfully written post Sexxi, thanks for sharing


CARISMATICONE 61M
138 posts
8/12/2006 10:43 pm

A very well written piece.Being black, I have seen the good and the bad in all people.I believe we ought to accept each other as the whole package and celebrate our differences and our sameness and enjoy what each person brings to the table. And for the ones that feel different, thats ok too.


rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
8/12/2006 11:27 pm

Thank you NSA, that means alot to me.
Thank you also, Carismaticone. Welcome to both of you.


rm_babyboomer26 67M
898 posts
8/12/2006 11:58 pm

Nice post kritter. Now about the differences between the sexes...

Boomer


MarcySullivan 53F
3598 posts
8/13/2006 1:57 am

sexxikritter.. you gave me goosebumps.. or is it the temperature in here??? lol

seriously.. your story touched me. And I liked the salad at the end. I myself see it as a painting. The world is a painting and we all bring different and beautiful colors to the painting of life, friendship and love!

xoxo


xoxo
Marcy

Visit my group Analsex lovers and my blog Marcy's world!!


rm_PeanutJackie 37F
1286 posts
8/13/2006 5:40 am

what an absolutely wonderful post. thank you so much for sharing this with us

"I am beautiful no matter what you say, words can't bring me down. So don't you bring me down today."


TonyPlays 65M

8/13/2006 6:48 am

I really enjoyed reading your post. Thank you for sharing.

Here's something I posted on one of Dusty's blogs:

When I was five years old and in kindergarten, I brought some of my friends home from school. My mom and grandma commented that all my friends were black.

I had not realized they were a different color till my elders pointed it out. To me they were just my friends.


cougarprey4play 42M

8/13/2006 7:16 am

Being a mix of several things, I could be characterized as 3 different backgrounds but since my look is Caucasin I have to deal with that. It has it's goods & bads. Over the years I challenged both friends & family who thought it was or is okay to use slurs or jokes - many times pointing out our family background or what not. I don't care for it & don't "tolerate" people who are that way. What's even worse is those who hate their own - "self hating" whatever & in some cases those who share the same look can be just as intolerant to each other (gangs, clans, etc.). I've had friends with all sorts of different backgrounds & upbringings - to me, they were friends & human beings not a "specific type" of person.


BlackHeatLust 48M

8/13/2006 7:28 am

The good, the bad and the ugly or is it Hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil Sexxi.

You have alreay shared thi with me and you know how I feel and where I stand on this issue so i won't go into it any further.

Good post from a great lady.


rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
8/13/2006 8:06 am

Mz Huny- Thank you always for your support.

Mr. Boomer...that is a subject I could write about for a thousand years and STILL wouldn't understand.

Thank you Shaye, for your words and for coming to visit.

Marcy- I LOVE the painting analogy also. We can see the individual colors but yet some are blended...just like my niece and nephew!

Thank you Jackie.

Tony- Exactly! My son was five and saw a little Black baby on TV. He asked me if she was a chocolate baby. LOL Love the minds of the young and innocent.

Cougar-Thank you for your words and for visiting. If we stand there and don't say a word, we are at the same level as the other.

BHL- G, I will always see and hear the evil and speak up against it. Thank you friend.


MarcySullivan 53F
3598 posts
8/13/2006 12:05 pm

    Quoting rm_sexxikritter:
    Mz Huny- Thank you always for your support.

    Mr. Boomer...that is a subject I could write about for a thousand years and STILL wouldn't understand.

    Thank you Shaye, for your words and for coming to visit.

    Marcy- I LOVE the painting analogy also. We can see the individual colors but yet some are blended...just like my niece and nephew!

    Thank you Jackie.

    Tony- Exactly! My son was five and saw a little Black baby on TV. He asked me if she was a chocolate baby. LOL Love the minds of the young and innocent.

    Cougar-Thank you for your words and for visiting. If we stand there and don't say a word, we are at the same level as the other.

    BHL- G, I will always see and hear the evil and speak up against it. Thank you friend.
Sexxi.. we can not hide away from the fact that the world if full of beautiful colors. To say that we don't see that a black person is black and that a white one is white is a lie! We see it. How we feel about it and how we react to it is a whole different story!! Some react.. some don't.

That's why I see people as a painting. It takes all kinds of beautiful colors to make a stunnign painting. Different colors.. different shades.. different forms!!

xoxo


xoxo
Marcy

Visit my group Analsex lovers and my blog Marcy's world!!


OboesHonedIambs 63F

8/13/2006 7:21 pm

Fabulous post Sexxi.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee


rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
8/13/2006 11:13 pm

Thank you lady and thanks for visiting.


warmandsexy52 65M
13164 posts
8/14/2006 1:10 am

Sexxi you have written a brilliant and powerful post - one of the very best I have ever read. I think there has been a major shift in the West towards seeing a person's humanity first, everything else second. It is a shame that all of this is being currently tested all over again by islamic extremism and the anti-islamic reaction to it, which I find totally grievous. If humans managed to overcome racism in all its forms, in all the corners of the globe, imagine what a wonderful world we would leave our children, directing all that misdirected energy towards making the planet a better place.

warm xx


shylena256 43F
1967 posts
8/14/2006 2:15 am

Nice one.
My grandma told me recently that all the racists should get a little black grandbaby...obviously it works.


free2chose2 67F

8/14/2006 7:14 am

Seeing someones color is the obvious, I always look beyond that to the person inside.

Don't worry, be Happy


DizzyKittie81 36F

8/14/2006 6:28 pm

i totally enjoyed reading your story thank you so much for taking the time to write and post it

=^..^=


rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
8/14/2006 7:40 pm

Warm~I am humbled, thank you.
Shylena~It works for some, not for others, which is very sad. My grandfather never met his great grandson. Thank you for visiting.
Free~Thank you for your comment and I wish more people would do as you.
Dizzy~You are welcome and thank you for coming here and reading it.


economickrisis 56M

8/16/2006 3:09 am

G'day luv, a real interesting post and I liked it a lot. I remember seeing an local theatre group do a production of " South Pacific" in which one of the actors sings a song that includes the words " you have to be carefully taught ... to hate all the people your relatives hate....before you are six or seven or eight....". I was a teenager when I saw it, but its stuck in my head ever since. Like you, I was raised by a racist. He was a lot of 'ists and thats for sure. Like you, I was lucky to see the truth for myself and have managed to pass a more enlightened attitude on to my own kids.

Real good post. Thanks for sharin yerself like that.


papyrina 52F
21133 posts
8/16/2006 4:57 am

what a beautifuk post,i really enjoyed that thankyou


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


rm_blkondemand 37M
236 posts
8/17/2006 10:13 am

I don’t think we should be color blind, to say to someone that we don’t see them as Black or Brown or whatever. How can we not? It’s right there in our face. We need to see that color, see that culture, see that difference, appreciate it and celebrate it.

The color descriptions aren't very accurate anyway. I am of mixed origin, but I've never been very black nor very white in hue. So I still think its a poor choice to identify others that way, but otherwise I agree that we need to appreciate all of the distinctions that exist among human entities. In my opinion, any subclassification of a human being is limiting in regards to human potential.[/B]


rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
8/17/2006 2:26 pm

Economickrisis-It's the only way it will end, when we teach our children. Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving your message.

Papyrina-You are welcome and thank you for reading it.

Blkondemand-I hate labels...for anything having to do with humans. I fail to understand why we can't just all be humans? Sure, we need descriptions, such as adult or blonde hair, on ocassion, but why the color, why the sexuality, why the religion?


digdug41 50M

8/20/2006 10:27 am

kritter thats and excellent post I'm sorry I did not get over here before this and thanks for the reminder or I would've really missed a jewel here thank you for writting this and I'm glad that I could be the spark for such a good blog post

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
8/23/2006 2:34 am

good post. i'm cycling thru everyone on my watched blog list -- just a few here and there when i get a chance (which with the site so slow isn't much).

i have a slightly different take on "viva la difference" -- obviously we can see what someone's skin colour is, but i am "colour blind" in my assessment of people, in that it is based on their character, not their skin colour. i am not really interested in what makes us different as human beings, but more interested in what makes us the same. i think making too big a deal about superficial differences is often what keeps us apart.

i have a friend who lives with her 4 year old daughter in a shack in someone's backyard; sometimes she has no money for food and she certainly never has much for luxuries. on the surface of it, we couldn't be more different. and yet in our way of thinking, in our sense of humour, in our attitudes towards others we are definitely kindred spirits... and our daughter's totally dote on each other. i relate to her better than i do to any of my other women friends who live superficially more similar lives to my own.

having grown up in a fascist country, racism still abounds, but it is heartening to see how much of it is going away, how many people mix across the colour line, how unacceptable racial attitudes have become. unfortunately tho, discrimination still exists on the basis of "class" -- and on that basis my friendship with this particular friend is quite strange, as most people still do not mix across the class lines, even tho mixing across colour lines is now fairly normal in most parts of the country.



[blog freelove999]


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