Men's Liberation  

rm_sarge200564 53M
8 posts
3/28/2006 5:34 pm

Last Read:
3/30/2006 12:22 pm

Men's Liberation

Ok folks, i have been wanting to write this down and am finally getting around to it. I may get in trouble for doing this but oh Hope ya'll enjoy it, i know I did when I came across it.

"Sweetheart>" I wasn't looking forward to the confrontation, but there comes a time in every marriage when a husband has to invoke the "honor and obey" part of the wedding vows. Call it tough love. "I've decided it's time I had a real trophy room for all my mounts and I'm not going to take no for an answer."
There was no getting around it, it was time to put my foot down-time to finally be brave and stand up for my rights as an equal partner in this bondage of holy matrimony.
"Here's the way it is. You have a dance studio and workout room in the house, and a walk-in closet for all your clothes. All I have is the back part of the garage for my trophies." I would've brought the topic up earlier in our marriage, but frankly I was concerned that just broaching the subject might have caused her to invoke the "till death do us part" part of our wedding vows. "No isn't an option this time, so don't even go there."
Not bad. Not bad at all. I was chuffed with myself, the delivery was perfect! But that was the easy part; I knew the money question wasn't going to be nearly as easy.
"Now you just hang on a second!" Ihad to be firm, stand my ground and not let her push me around. As my hero Maxwell Stewart was fond of saying, "Give her an inch and she'll think she's a ruller." "That's not fair! It's not just your paychecks that get deposited into the bank, you know!"
Technically it wasn't a lie, lots of people deposit their checks into the same bank we use, and if I could actually figure out a way to get paid for what I do, I'm almost 100 percent sure I'd also deposit money into our joint account.
"Oh pleeeeaze." I've heard my teenage daughter use just the right tone of voice so many times, I hit the notes perfectly the first try. "You're ruining my life!"
Hmmm. Somehow it wasn't quite so effective coming from a 40-something male, at least not one who not only wears the pants in the family, but is also politically incorrect enough to say so. Nope, I needed to refocus on the topic, anew trophy room for me; theatrics wouldnt do. I had to be aggressive.
"OK fine, let's talk about money then! The money I spend on hunting doesn't evencompare to the amount of money you spend around here!" That was the ticket. Keep her on the defensive. "Just take the bathroom for example. Do you know how much that Jacuzzi tub cost? Or those fancy gold-plated faucets? Not to mention the shampoo! That's right, I counted, there's 11 bottles in the bathroom! And don't give me that 'girls need $20 shampoos' routine! Do they also need six bottles of conditioner, three bottles of spa moisturizers, five bottles of cleansers, whatever that is, adozen various soaps and 23 bottles of perfume? That's right! I added it up! Not counting the plunger, because that's mine, you've spent more than $9,400 on stuff for the bathroom alone."
I was on a roll! There was no stopping me now!
"And furthermore, since I'm the boss around here, I've decided we're going to take a good close look at how much you give me for allowance. That's right, we're going to double it. And while we are at it, we're going to go right out and buy me a brand new second-hand Pre-'94 Mighty Dodge! And since I'm the boss now, I'm going to to book that caribou hunt in Alaska I've always dreamed about! And I'm taking my buddy Mangus with me, and I don't care what you say about him! He might be a loser, but we've got a lot in common. And one more thing...."
"Jim? JIM? Where are you?"
Uh, oh.
"There you are. What are you doing standing in the garage in front of that mirror? Never mind, I don't want to know. It's time for dinner."
"How about spaghetti, Sweetie Pie?"
"sounds good to me, but don't boil the noodles so long this time. I'll be watching Oprah. Call me when it's ready."
"Yes, Dear."

I couldn't stop laughing the first time I read this...lmao...he's the boss right

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