Please Release Me  

rm_rsp54 60F
892 posts
9/27/2005 5:38 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Please Release Me


It is now seven am the following morning. Being in intensive care is like trying to land at a space station. You are there and there is all of this activity going on around you. You wish you could land but somehow you can't find the right spot.
I've got three ivs, a drainage tube comming out of my neck, a catheter in my bladder, and a oxygen mister. I'm a fucking prisoner. I want to get up and run down the hall, perhaps make a break for it. I guess that would take a bit of planning.
It's been over 24hours since I've last ingested anything. I have no hunger, though. One of the ivs is a morphine drip. I wish I had a mirror. I know that I must look hideous. They didn't have to break my jaw, thankfully, but they did remove my ear. It is completely numb, now, i can feel the meticulous, little stitches that have reattached it. I can also feel that my left eye is swollen, almost shut. I pause from time to time to place the suction wand in my throat to remove stuff. The machine emits a very loud whirring noise.
A parade of doctors begin to see me. I ask to speak to my surgeon in private, without his entourage. I feel bad, but I have to rat on idiot boy from last night. The doctor listens, then apologizes profusely.
I ask how long I will be unable to swallow. The doctor says hopefully not long.
I can now smell coffee, oh sweet nectar! How I miss you. Each resident examining me has coffee breath.
Now that I am fully awake, I seem to have a heightened sense of smell. Each new entrant to my cubbyhole of a room is announced by their distintive odor. I still have no desire for food. No hunger at all, just a never ending thirst. They give me ice chips. They tell me to try to swallow. Each time results in choking. They say that if I continue to progerss that they may get me up today.
I want up, and I want out, that's all that I know.
They remove my catheter, and walk me to the bathroom. Yes, it feels good.
My veins suck and I need new iv's inserted. At this point, I'm not even phased by a needle. Morphine is my friend.
The smells are killing me. The nurse's station is right outside my door. At meal times I can smell microwaved delights. I have the dry heaves.
One day runs into the next. No tv, can't use my cd player because my head is too swollen to wear headphones. I nervously page through magazines and dream of an ice cold 7up.
At the end of the third day, I get good news. I'm being sprung to a real room! Not an easy task with all of my paraphernelia.
The room is lovely and spacious, deesigned for two patients. I am currently the sole occupant. I now have a tv, spacious bathroom with shower, and windows. The only thing better would to be going home.

rm_rsp54 60F
531 posts
9/27/2005 8:07 am

long, drawn out, but pretty good in the end


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