Snap judgements..... what to tell and not tell...  

TakesTeatsStood 51M
1358 posts
4/12/2005 3:26 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Snap judgements..... what to tell and not tell...

Hmmm... I have only half a thought here but wanted to get something up.

Earlier today I got to thinking. I am currently 39, soon to be 40. Now the only reason that will be a milestone to me is because so many other people treat it as such. Those of you over or close to it 40 are probably nodding your head, those under 40 may not understand but maybe most of you can relate to turning 30 (and those under 30 - well - I hate you!! Kidding!!).

I don't feel any different, yeah I have a few extra lines in my face compared to when I was 30. Mentally I sure have a lot more experiences to rely on when I need to make a decision. But emotionally I am still in my 20's in my heart I think.

Now some people look 50 when they are 40 - we all know that, mother nature is not as kind to some of us as it is to others. I would count myself on the lucky side.

I do not work out every day, hell, I have a $700 treadmill that I haven't walked on in several years (I keep telling myself I will start again tommorow). The pictures on my profile and blog are me - no, no six pack there, but it doesn't look to bad.

I have almost all my hair still, granted the hairline has been slowly creeping back, and some day I will probably look like David Letterman with that lil island of hair in front, but for now when I comb my hair (not COMB OVER), I still look like the BEST after pictures in hairclub for men.

Damn I take a long time to get to my point......

My question... should I crank back my age in my profile? Actually I am not even sure if I can, but lets say for the sake of an argument I can. I have been told by more than one person that I could easily pass for someone in their mid-30's - should I shave 5 years off my age in my profile in order to increase the odds of meeting women in their 30's who often put a barrier - mental or otherwise on anyone 40 and over?

Now some of you are going to say no - if they are close minded then they are not worth it. But, speaking from experience, in the past (a long time ago in a galaxy far far away) I did meet someone who was not upfront about their age and I later found out she was several year older than I thought. Guess what? At that point it didn't matter, but if I had known it before I got to know her I might have mentally written her off (yeah - stupid me).

I really think that, at least for me, there has to be an initial physical attraction, something to spark and interest, then comes the mental attraction. I could meet a 50 year old woman, and if she didn't look her age and we connected mentally and I later found out her age, I would be ok with it. But if she looked 50 (my mental image of 50 at least) then chances are I wouldn't think of her in the same way and thus the mental attraction would not develop.

Am I making sense? Think I should take 5 years off my age so I would pop up on more profiles? Hmmmm?

mnfun952 103M

4/12/2005 3:54 pm

There's no need to lie about your age...or anything else on AdultFriendFinder. Do you really want to play with someone who wouldn't look at your profile if they knew your real age? Enjoy who you are and play with people who know (and appreciate) the REAL you.

stressedlawguy99 36M
28 posts
4/12/2005 4:00 pm

Initially, I say yes. Go for it. PR and image really do effect the way people think about you. It's better advertising. However, I can't say this with a clear conscience without a disclaimer: If somebodies profile stresses honesty in a relationship, then you need to either not contact that person or break the news immediately. With that said, go for it.

1 post
4/12/2005 4:46 pm

I guess you could roll back time a bit. But, what are you looking for? If it's a relationship, that would be a rather dishonest note you'd be equivocating at the outset. Hmmm.

rm_MarkNGeorgia 65M
91 posts
4/12/2005 4:47 pm

You *can* lie about your age - I did, but went back to the truth. Why start a relationship with a lie?

You think 40 is a barrier? It was amazing how many more women met my profile when my age was 49! And that was only a 3 year lie. Even women in their late 40's had 49 set as the limit. Forty seems to be no big deal. Fifty is the doorway to "old".

mi_mwpm 52M

4/12/2005 5:07 pm

You can definitely do it. A lady I met here decided to be 5 years younger for a day or two before going back to her real age. She was 44 when we started talking and suddenly became 49. Didn't change a thing and we still got together for a fun time. It didn't hurt that she looked 42.

The real question is whether or not it will actually help you. Probably worth the price of the experiment (ie, zip). If you suddenly find a bunch of 30 yr old hotties hitting on you when they wouldn't acknowledge you last week, you have your answer. Might be a problem later if something long term was to develop, but since that's not in your profile... go for it.

rm_layed469 63M/60F
3 posts
4/12/2005 5:56 pm

hell why not most of the lady,s on here do , why be honest went nobody here is.

rm_layed469 63M/60F
3 posts
4/12/2005 5:58 pm

hell why not most of the lady,s on here do , why be honest when nobody here is.

angelwithahalo 60F

4/12/2005 7:18 pm

just be above board it makes everything so much easier.Though I do laugh when on ocassion I get carded to buy cigarettes

patsam69 52M/52F

4/12/2005 7:50 pm

hi postingnick...first off , I must say that I LOVE your picture. I think it is extremely sexy. A six pack is not needed...that tummy looks tasty!

I too will be turning 40 in the next year. But being a woman, I do not seem to have an age problem with my profile. Apparently, many younger men have a thing for "older" women. Not sure if I like being called older...but, I guess I am!

I, myself, have been ageist (if that is a word) toward older men. I have tried not to...I ask for a pic if the man seems interesting to me...but ultimately..I am attracted to men closer to my age. I did meet a man who was 49...claimed to look alot younger than his pics, and we seemed to get along well on the my husband and I met him. me , he looked 49..LOL. I had previously told him that I was not really attracted to him, I try to be honest up front, but he had asked me to meet him if I was ever in his area, so I did. Needless to say, nothing happened. But I did feel guilty about it. Why, I do not know. We cannot help if we are attracted to people our own age!! LOL

In answer to your question...No..please do not lie about your age. No one likes a liar....thats a fact! and yes, people should accept you for who you are!

Ecaffine 54F

4/12/2005 8:23 pm

Hmm,it depends.I wouldn`t want you popping up on my profile if you were 5 years younger.I think 40 year old men can be very sexy!!!

1 post
4/12/2005 9:49 pm

I think it would depend on how much younger the women are that you are trying to get attention from. I, myself am 29 yrs old and absolutely adore older men, especially men in their 40's. I love a man who has lived long enough to know how to treat a woman, both in and out of the bedroom, and I find that older men do it for me. They know how to take the time to please a woman, they don't rush through the whole process of sex just for the sake of having an orgasm.

I've been lied to when it comes to whole age thing. Even though the guy later told me how old he really was (and it was the around the age I much prefered at the time), I still felt lied to and had some difficulty getting beyond that.

Age is a totally personal thing. If you look great for your age, don't lie about it. But if it bothers you that much that you feel you need to, then go for it.

There are many women out there who just love the older guy, and I am definitely one of them.

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
4/12/2005 10:51 pm

on a good day i look around 30,but like you at the end of the year i turn 40,i'm proud of my age,hard work and experiance got me safely too it,so why lie,those who care really don't care how old you are,my lover has shaved 5 years of his age,but told the truth on our first date,silly really as he acts as he actshis age not 34 lol

I'm a

i'm here to stay

TakesTeatsStood 51M
505 posts
4/12/2005 11:33 pm

Wow - not sure how many more replies have yet to pop up but thanks to each and every one of you for taking the time to comment I was shocked to see 13 replies!!!

Honestly, I have no plans to change my age, it was more to see what everyone else thought and perhaps to get some people that think of '40' as old to reconsider

I have messaged women whose age profile I didn't match and have even met at least one I can think of. I'll hit 40 and hit it proudly when I do.

Thank you all again for your comments - now go find my question from earlier in the day about masturbation and answer it as honestly!!! lol.


4/13/2005 1:08 pm

I was frightened of turning 40, lol now I do believe the old saying .life begins at 40, having more fun now than before,

PailsDiverHonks 57F

4/13/2005 1:23 pm

I will quote something my yoga instructor said not to long ago. “If we didn’t know when our birthday was we wouldn’t know how old we are” She was speaking to a class where the age ranges from 20 something to 70 something. The 20 year olds looked 30 the 70 year olds looked 50. I think it all comes down to how well you take care of yourself and how you act. In a few months my husband will qualify for the Kroger senior citizen discount. For what ever reason he has let the number affect the way he acts. I however REFUSE TO GROW OLD! Yep, you can call me Peter Pan.
Some of you may read this then pop over to my profile and see that I have listed that I am interested in men between the age of 35-45. You be thinking WTF? With age comes knowledge and I know what age group of men I can relate to not just sexually but intellectually.
This may not answer your question on whether you should change your age but our society does put a lot of emphasis on age. You can fight in a war at 18 but you have to be 21 to drink. You can qualify for a senior citizen discount at 55 but you are probably making more money at 55 then you were at 35.

zenyen 67M

4/13/2005 6:50 pm

Well, Nick, you should have learned this by now (almost 40), and I think you have: The truth, and only the truth, will set you free. No unnecessary complications, only one thing to remember. Besides, if being forty will eliminate you from meeting some 30-somethings, being 35 will eliminate you from meeting some 40-somethings. And you would lose more than you would gain. In the final analysis, this is just like the real world, and substance means more than style or image. Better to have some depth under the surface. I was surprised at how many people told you to lie about it.

Barbiebunny69 45F

4/15/2005 12:51 am

U are whom u are...but post 39+1 see if theyre smart enuff to get it.

Sinderlicious 53F
310 posts
4/15/2005 8:26 am

I know people that have changed their birth year for the sole purpose of coming up under searches of men/women they would be interested in. My 42 yr old girl-friend likes 30 something guys but she wasn't coming up on THEIR searches because they randomly chose 40 as the magic number and she puts ALOT of 30 yr old women to shame in just 'being'. BUT...she explained at the top of her profile before anything else what, why and was honest about her age. If someone doesn't wanna do that, coming clean as soon as possible in this situation would probly erase the fib...but continued dishonesty sucks no matter how minor it may seem. If someone is going to lie about their age what ELSE might they be stretching, fudging or blatantly hiding?

Besides! Anyone who buys into the number thing is dangerously close to close minded - don't care how long you've been ON the planet..I care what you've done WHILE you've been on the planet I'm turning 40 this year, too...wanna be my birthday buddy? LMAO

Sin like you mean it!

sportyfun56 107M

4/26/2005 12:55 pm

I never thought about possibly changing my age on my profile until I met a guy at "the party" who's profile says he's 38. He shared privately with me that is not correct and that he is older and closer to my age. Well he shared this because he does easily pass for 38 and suggested that I also could pass for much younger. He said it does get him more 'action' from the site to not be "over 40". And that I should try this also.

Well I thought about it for about 3 seconds. I don't want to deceive anyone and frankly it's a benefit if you look at it from another point of view to definately look younger than you are. It's nice to be told that anyway. For what that's worth.

So I would commend you for not falsifying your birth year on your profile.

1 post
10/22/2005 1:44 pm

ummmm....I was very interested in your blog as "the age old question" is on my mind very much being a newbe here.

I have no problems with my age, I enjoy males and females of all ages, and really must say the feeling is quite mutual. However we are now talking a whole new arena I have never tried. Will the over 50 truth be a deterrent to those who would otherwise be quite turned on and interested if age was an unknown factor? I prefer to think not, but ummmmmm....unfortunately I am sure many will judge by that 53 and never investigate any further. Too bad, so sad.

Well I am going to start my new experience with AdultFriendFinder with truth. Those who dont look any further then that number called my age will miss out on something very special. By the way I would have no problem saying Im 10 years younger and never being called on it. I don't look or act what some preceive my age to be, and certainly me sex drive and sensuality are above average for any age.

I wish you all satisfaction, happiness, and good luck. I will blog back in maybe a month or so, ummmmmmm....this is going to be very interesting me thinks! )

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