Not a good way to start a blog.....  

TakesTeatsStood 51M
1358 posts
3/28/2005 9:11 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Not a good way to start a blog.....

After a bad start maybe this will finally work.. I don't like this blog set-up at all (par for the course for me tonight).

Well hi there, I am suspicious if anyone will even read this but tonight I have nothing better to do so thought I would vent a bit.

Now this is my 'postingnick' yeah I created it because I wanted my real nickname to remain private. No one (so far) knows what my other nickname is (I am a paying member). I suspect that if someone dug hard enough they could figure it out but for now I am sure no one knows.

Now on to my little rant..... as a paying member I have had a few 'success' stories, I have managed to meet a few women via AdultFriendFinder and so in some ways I should give it a thumbs up. The problem is with the ratio of men to women its such a royal pain in the ass trying to meet new people. But I guess that goes for the entire net. On any IM program or message board the men outnumber the women and the women know it. They can pick and choose whom they talk to and frankly I am sick of kissing ass to try to get someone's attention. Its not my style and never has been.

So.. here is what set me off. Last week I began chatting with someone from AdultFriendFinder, I wrote her, she replied, soon after we were chatting using an IM program. After two 'good' conversations and exchanging pictures I thought things were looking pretty positive. Silly me. She hasn't said a word to me for a couple days, and has been 'online' on AdultFriendFinder (yeah its a good and a bad thing that you can't hide when you log on AdultFriendFinder, even if its not always accurate as to how long you are, you still have to log on at some point to show as 'online.').

I have sent her a message on AdultFriendFinder, and a couple on the IM program we share and nary a peep in reply. Now once again let me remind you that from my perspective things seemed to be going great. So all I can think to myself is that she found others of more interest and rather than tell me nicely has decided to ignore me. Ladies, I realize a lot of guys on here can be assholes, but not all of us are, and I can handle the rejection, its the total silence that drives me bonkers.

The real kicker is that, being a married person I have to be especially careful (please, no lecturing me on being married and on this site without my spouse knowing, I am an adult and have heard all the arguments and know why I am where I am and what I am doing). This of course makes the initial conversation with almost anyone more difficult because guess what? A good portion of the 'women' on here are guys playing games.

So it appears another potential friend is off my list and that just sucks...... I really wish some of the women that pull this crap had to walk a month in my shoes and see how crappy it feels to get your hopes up and have them dashed without even a 'sorry, not interested.'

Ok... the moral of the story for the women here.... if you meet a guy ('meet' as in exchange messages) and then you decide you have no interest in anything more than talking (if even that) LET THEM KNOW - the worst thing that will happen is he will be an ass about it, but you can easily block him. There are A LOT of nice guys out there who have feelings and hate the feeling of rejection when someone just stops talking.

hmmmm thought writing it all out would make me feel better... I was wrong, lol

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
3/29/2005 1:35 am

It happenes to us too honest,lol well maybe not so often ,i think its the old cliche we don't want to hurt or offend people although we do in not replying,i've done it my self and been honest with a few others,i've found with being honest the other gets quite cross and sometimes rude and others just put me on ignore,so it does work both ways,not all the guys are mature enough to accept rejection even if its done sweetly.

I'm a

i'm here to stay

LustGoddess2469 51F  
2453 posts
3/29/2005 5:19 am

Well, if it makes you feel any better, men do the same thing to women on here. We chat once or twice, they find out that they aren't going to be hitting it with me THAT NIGHT just because they want it, that I actually want to get to know them a little bit better before meeting them, and *poof*, they move on to the next victim. This is fine with me. I wouldn't want to end up being with someone like that anyway.

So, hang in there. There are a lot of strange ducks and rude people out there. You were obviously too good for her anyway.


TakesTeatsStood 51M
505 posts
3/29/2005 5:54 am

Thanks to both of you for your responses, I know it goes both ways, I really do, I was just really at a 'low' point in my frustration level when I posted that, but its nice to see people reply who understand and can relate. You both are telling me the same things I would tell someone else, its so easy to give advice and so hard to take it.

I think my big mistake was getting my hopes up, ya know when you talk to some people you can tell right away that it won't 'work out' and with others it looks really positive (at least from your view). Its just a matter of sticking it out and waiting for the right person to come along.

PailsDiverHonks 57F

3/29/2005 10:59 am

I’m not going to lecture you for being married. I’m in the same boat.
Creating another profile so you can vent doesn’t seem to me to be the right thing to do. It’s like playing Jekyll and Hyde. I learn more about a person from their blogs no matter what it says then I do from the emails and the profiles.
Yeah, some women on this site suck! I’m guilty of the "chat no more" game after a few chats and photo exchanges. It is usually because I didn’t find myself attracted to the person (photo). That is one reason I ask for a photo before I start any conversation with the person (Im or email). There are A LOT of nice people on here, a lot of men seeking the same thing I am but it does come down to being physically attracted to the person to take it off line. Because I have had more then my share of nasty notes from men after I told them I wasn’t interested I found it easier to just ignore them. When I logged on today I found yet another note from someone who does NOT understand "Sorry I am NOT interested" He’s trying to convince me I am wrong. It gets old and it gets tiring after a while. I also want to add that it is not just females that play this game. I have had men fall off the face of the earth without as much as a "sorry I’m not interested". I don’t continue to write them. I’m old enough to figure out that we are not a match.
PS writing about it did make you feel better; you ended it with a LOL.

TakesTeatsStood 51M
505 posts
3/29/2005 8:13 pm

ty for your comment greeneyes, I replied to you elsewhere as you know but I will say as I said to you that as far as me posting here instead of via my paid account, I just feel like I don't want to run someone off before I give them a chance, and they might have read my little rant and tossed in the towel.

Lucky (or unlucky) for me I haven't had to do the rejection thing except once or twice and the 'rejectees' didn't get mad or put up an argument

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