Lack of specifics.  

rm_phoundrx7 40M
498 posts
5/12/2006 2:53 pm
Lack of specifics.


I know at times I do not tell the whole information, in regards to specific events or people.

I do this in an effort to protect myself, and others.

But more myself. With everything within me that is screwed up, I have learned that to be completely forthright, can be a dangerous thing, especially if that information is in the wrong hands, as I know it to be if info is disclosed.

In my case, my disease takes a heavy toll. Sometimes, it is hard for me to share the pain that I feel on a regular basis, the stress that it creates, and the level of anxiety the future holds on this respect.

And although I know there are many out there who understand what I go through, and have been through, I still wage an internal battle with these problems, retracting into myself, and playing keep away with everyone else, mostly due to fear of pain and rejection.

I know I could use the help of doctors, on both levels, but to me, if I cannot win these battles on my own, to me I have failed myself.

It is hard for me to say these things, because I know others look upon these thoughts, and judge them from their own experiences. Some judge correctly, others do not.

In many ways, understanding is key. If there is any way I can help you understand anything about me, please let me know.

Until later, enjoy, and have a good one.

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