Another realization  

rm_phoundrx7 40M
498 posts
3/19/2006 5:10 pm

Last Read:
3/23/2006 12:14 pm

Another realization


Came to this one the other day.

I have become flaky as of late (last couple years to be precise).

The realization came to me when I was thinking about all the people I have talked to, and didn't keep contact with. Many I am sorry about.

Some of is sheer laziness. Some of it is trepidation. Most of it though, comes from procrastination.

I don't mind talking on the phone, but hate using it. That and I was always taught (bitched at more like it) that you can say everything you needed in under 5 minutes, so why say more.

I hate writing to someone I'm trying to hook up with, because I never know what to say, or never sure what I can say. With my mind, and the way I look at things, saying out loud (even the stuff that does get censored) those thoughts do bad things for me.

And it's funny. If I'm comfortable with someone, I can talk forever - give me a subject, and watch it go. But it has been much easier for me to deal with other men, than women. It comes from perception, preconceived notions, and experiences of a negative sort (un/deservedly) of the female sect. And I know full well that not all women are gold-digging, emotional wreck-in-waiting, psychotic hosebeasts.

So I deal with men more on a friendly basis (because I am not swallowing your sword dude), because I trust men.

With women, it's always a mistrustful eye, which, like I said above, can cast a dark stare. Or I look at them like they look at many of us: a piece of meat, to be used, consumed, and discarded after a trip through digestion. Once I get to know them, most of it goes away (no matter who you are, you will never know all of me. Too complicated to figure out.).

But you have to scale the walls. The first one can be easy. The second can be tricky, because I can be thick at times, and that means I won't see certain signals unless they are direct ones. Never been one for subtlety.

That, and considering what my future holds, I need to be very choosy with my selection.

I would like to fuck a herd of women, but only one can be THE ONE.

And yes, I realize I went off on a tangent and never returned. Sue me!! (actually, don't. There might be some ambulance chasers who take me up on that offer.)

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