Sex, lies and relationships...  

rm_nosecrets56 61M
4 posts
2/1/2006 6:43 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sex, lies and relationships...


Today, I spent the day planning a birthday party for her son who will be 3 Tuesday.

I have some Friends in Cartagena, Colombia that helped me and I spoke with her father about providing a party for her son.

I knew she didn't have any money (because I think mine ran out of mine).

Her son never did anything to me and deserves to have a party. So I found safe way to get money to my friends that would make sure the party happens along with her parents.

Her parents were going to hold the gathering with other kids at their home. Now they will have all the normal things for a birthday party.

In a strange way I love her so much and her son feels like my own. I couldn't bare the thought that he may not have a birthday party...

I wonder if I got played as a sucker on this one or not...but my heart feels like it was the right thing to do no matter what his mother has done...the boy deserves to know that someone cares about him since his Colombian father doesn't make an effort.

If she would just confess to what I know, things could be different...but I guess always in the back of my mind I would think is she doing it again...then I would become some controling jerk that just isn't me....

How do you give up something that you feel is the best thing in your life over what you know to be lies...

How can you look into somebody's eyes and see the future that looks so happy...yet know that what you see is not completely who she is.

Is it possible to accept the lies and deceit because you know how happy life is with her..and how hard life sucks without her...

Is it possible that life will change in America or does it just start again at some point...to be the same old lies...

Can she really start fresh, or do I end up changing to be a controling jerk to protect the love and relationship I here in her words that she wants...

What right, even in marriage does one person have to control the other person's life...isn't that slavery?

Life was simple before I found out how really great love with what could be the right person is and isn't....

We all make choices and we all forgive but where is the line that says this is not where you want to be....

Love changes us all but does that mean love makes us into a jerk that we can't live with ourselves...

How do you say good-bye to something that moves your soul...

I don't know...and I don't expect to find answers here...

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