On my way to peace.  

rm_mustangsjess 48F
8 posts
3/27/2006 10:52 am
On my way to peace.

I am at peace.

This couldn't be the furthest thing from the truth. I fight my battles everyday, with myself and the world. I mourn the breaks I never get. I stress the small things as the big things fall by the wayside. I live in denial of what the world really consists of for me. I have begun to cry over everything, when I never cried over anything. I admit openly that I am unhappy when I used to restrict the feelings and hold them inside myself. The self destructive side has become explosive and the meek and mild, extremely outspoken and bold. I push friends away with honesty and lack of tact when before they left because I was not a friend but a walking corpse.

I am breaking the shell that was built around me. I am exposing the vulnerable me for the world to see and deflecting the hurt rather than absorbing it. I am still afraid but I am not nonexistant. I am somebody with feelings and goals. I see the sunshine over the darkness, if only a little. I know the difference between internal and external pain. I am no longer blind to my reality. I am a woman that has many things to offer to everyone: and I will.

I am not at peace, but I am well on my way!

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