Transitional binds  

rm_mtnravyn 61M
501 posts
1/21/2006 11:06 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Transitional binds

I have not been writing due to the many transitions recently. In a new territory finding some new friends who wish to engage in adult play has been difficult.

Finding the line between sensual affection and being seen as cold or abrupt or pushy is the first. As much as the south is known for its warmth it is also rigid and backwards sensually.

Finding the line between spontaneity and protecting myself is another that has been difficult. If I am too protective then I end up not creating the possibilities to explore. If I am too open and spontaneous (especially given my quirky and soemwhat kinky sense of humor) I may come across as insensitive or inappropriate.

Finding the line between autonomy and connected caring also is difficult. I do not believe in "no strings" play. To me that is the adolescent, macho sex that has no depth or fulness of pleasure. But honoring oneself and honoring and respecting the connection that results in the most exquisite of pleasures. But I also am not seeking anything more than a few very good friends with whom to play.

Balancing the needs of self versus the needs of those with whom I might play also becomes a tightrope to be walked. This one is tied to the ability to communicate openly about what we both seek. This one is a reflection of the spontaneity/protection bind it seems, especially here in the south.

Allowing a sensual play relationship to grow has to be balanced with the need to not try to push something that may not exist. It is not so much about "chemistry" as about being willing to allow the possibilities to emerge or not before recognizing that it will not evolve.

If this sounds a little confusing you should see what goes through my head around this regularly. I believe these are binds we all face and finding those balance points takes communication and willingness to risk and be vulnerable.

How do you resolve these for yourself? Are there other bnds you have encountered, espceially thsoe that are not gender specific?

dark_whispers 39F

1/22/2006 11:29 am

in the beginning.. i tried the totally casual 'no strings types'..
i had been in a relationship.. pretty much since 97.. and ..i had no idea.. at all how to even start dating.. i went thru this very interesting, painful, even fun time of trial and error.. discovery ..
thru it all i realize.. alot of things about myself.. i have had trouble finding people who.. are interested in similar activities.. with similar beliefs.. shrugs.. i am not looking for a string of one nite stands..that have nothing there.. and im also.. not ready to find a relationship with one person.. exclusive to all others.. *i dont even think..thats really who i am.. * and so i go online.. and meet wonderful people.. who touch my mind.. and it has helped me.. i think grow as a person.. along with everything else.. yes.. a balance is hard to find.. but very desired.. hugs n kisses

MillsShipsGayly 53M

1/27/2006 9:15 am

I just argue with myself and remain paralyzed ...


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