Squares Humor  

rm_mtnravyn 61M
501 posts
9/21/2005 5:19 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Squares Humor

This recently came in my email, there were several that I could not help but laugh at. Hope you enjoy and all comments are welcome.

Assortment of Q&A's from the Original Hollywood Squares

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and
its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These
great questions and answers are from the days when
"Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous and clever.... not scripted and (often)
dull, as they are now.

Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of
course. Now this is really funny comedy at its best. Enjoy!

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake?

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting
into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.


rm_LacyCuffs 50F
386 posts
9/21/2005 8:21 pm

Oh how I miss watching hollywood squares..lol

Have to admit alot of the shows made me crack up!

hugs
Raven


tillerbabe 57F

9/22/2005 1:52 am

OMG! I'm dying...LMAO! Thank you......


rm_mtnravyn 61M
890 posts
9/22/2005 9:03 am

Humor is truly a wonderful medicine. Thanks to you all for stopping by.


rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
9/23/2005 10:28 pm

The elephant one is funny but I cant get over that poor dog!!!


PrincessKarma 44F
6188 posts
9/24/2005 2:52 pm

"Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom."

Boy, does that sound familiar... thanks for the laughs

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


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