check it out  

rm_mongoose131 30M
2 posts
2/15/2006 1:37 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

check it out


HOW TO DEFEND YOUR HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND:

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not balding; he is FOLLICLY CHALLENGED.
He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

DATING REALITY CHECK:

I have something to tell you. = Get tested.
I'm a Romantic. = I'm poor.
I'll give you a call. = I'd rather have my nipples eaten off by wild dogs than see you again.
Trust me. = I'm cheating on you.
I think we should just be friends. = You're ugly.
We need to talk. = I'm pregnant.
I've been thinking a lot. = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.
I've learned a lot from you. = Next!
I want a commitment. = I want exclusive sex rights.
I think we should see other people. = I have been seeing other people.
I still think about you. = I miss the sex.
I think we should take this relationship to the next level. = I want sex.

freetime648 53F

2/15/2006 6:44 pm

Very good...I especially like the....HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT...part....good job....LMAO


xx FREETIME648 xx


oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
2/15/2006 9:32 pm

good list keep it up.


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