I want you NO wait I don  

rm_miniaxis 37F
241 posts
6/18/2006 6:17 pm

Last Read:
6/18/2006 7:58 pm

I want you NO wait I don

I am totally confuzzled and that’s not even a word.

I met someone a couple of weeks ago; we chatted and got to know each other. I was completely honest regarding my situation and he was patient and okay with it. Now I’m not after a full on relationship here, so I was under no illusions when it come to things, we both knew it was simply a sex thing.
So we talk and talk and arrange a meet, it was all I want you, I want you, I can’t wait etc all the way up until two days before. Then it was “I’ve thought about it and I don’t think there is a connection there so I don’t think that we should get together”
Now I have dealt with my fair share of rejection in my life and I willingly accepted his point of view and his decision, sure I wanted a better reason. But as I have found it seems guys don’t talk when something is wrong or bothers them, so I didn’t expect much. (Before anyone shoots me down I know that not all men are like this well I hope not but in my experience this is what I have found)
So I dealt, changed my plans and got on with things not forgetting what happened but not dwelling on it either.
So the night we were supposed to get together comes around, I log on to msn and instantly get a message from him, seeing if I am ok.
I wasn’t totally ok abut I’d be fine was my response then wait for it he does a complete back flip and tells me that he was confused and that he’s made a mistake. That he is still confused and but is pretty sure he has made the wrong decision.
I know I deserve better than this and I am sick and tired of finding people that inevitably treat me like shit but in this situation I just wish he’d have talked to me, maybe we could have worked it out together, gotten to the bottom of all the things that were worrying him, but now I don’t know.

Now I am the one confused.
I sent him an email and have put the ball in his court and at this stage haven’t had a response and I’m not really expecting one.

When you have trust issues like I do things like this throw you, it’s like one of those one step forward two steps back. And it’s a regression that I don’t want to happen it has taken me ages to get to where I am emotionally when it comes to sex and I am damn sure that this isn’t going to send me back into a mild depression where I used to end up.

Till the next thing comes along what ever it may be I’ll stay strong, positive and up beat because I know that I haven’t lost here, I’m not the one who made the wrong decision.

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