The way Kids see it.  

maverick1255 52M
2992 posts
6/13/2006 10:09 am
The way Kids see it.

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!



HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.



OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."



KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now She's hitting the bottle."



MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"



ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"



DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."

"And why not, darling?"

"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.."



DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .. and into the hole he gooooes."



SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"



BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.



from email -

Mav



JuicyBBW1001 55F

6/13/2006 12:00 pm

My 6 year old daughter is my personal date interrogator only it is tough to distinguish business associates and friends on the phone for her.
One day a business associate called the house and she answered the phone and my client asked is your mommy home? My daughter said "yes she is would you like to get sex with her too?". Not that I have ever had sex with a man while she has been in the house but when she said that I wanted to crawl under a rock. Thankfully my client has a sense of humor and was not offended by it.

Juicy


maverick1255 replies on 6/13/2006 1:34 pm:
OH, out of the mouth of babes!!

That is priceless!

akron42   
2375 posts
6/13/2006 12:09 pm

My angelic son thought it would be cute to put a sign in the back of the school bus on a field trip that said "Help, we've been kidnapped". Unfortunately, an off duty highway patrolman was behind the bus. I'm sure you can see where this is going. The road block they set up was bad enough, but when the police boarded the bus with guns drawn, well, let's just say that was his LAST field trip! And just in case anyone is wondering, that's the same as making a false 911 call and you get in ALOT of trouble!


maverick1255 replies on 6/13/2006 1:37 pm:
Oh my, that is a bad joke. But he had no idea. (snicker)

They are just little angels!!

Thanks for the commet.

xxFreakyFelinexx 37F

6/15/2006 10:57 pm

This was quite a while ago but when my daughter was 4, I was trying to explain breast feeding to her in anticipation of my new baby's arrival. One day after preschool, her teacher walked out with a very lovely broach on her lapel. Barely able to talk from laughing so hard, she says "You'll never guess what your daughter said to me today" At this point I wanted to bury my head in the sand. "She looked up at me in the hall and asked what that green thing was on my nipple". I didn't even bother trying to explain.


maverick1255 replies on 6/16/2006 1:08 pm:
Yep, just straight up honesty!! Gotta love it.

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
6/17/2006 12:53 pm

Love it kids are so damn funny sometimes.


maverick1255 52M
3953 posts
6/17/2006 4:03 pm

They have no clue how funny they are!!


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