Adventures in Man-scaping  

maverick1255 52M
2992 posts
8/26/2006 8:39 pm
Adventures in Man-scaping

The ugly truth!!!

Where to start. Hmmmmm. First, this is NOT for the meet this weekend! Just happened to be the same time. And I hope she does not see this until next week or she will unmercilessly ridicule my ass ALL weekend!!!!! That is just the generous person she is!!!

Ok, I learned a long time ago, that long hair is a true gift. It requires an enormous amount of work and time to look its best. I give total credit to the women that have long hair!!! Thank you!!! You are all goddesses!!! For not only the long hair but all you do to look your best for us beasts!!!

Now, for my pathetic adventure. This is your warning for all of you drinking, put it down! Or your screen will be wearing it!!!

For ALL major grooming needs I am either going to a professional or finding a GB(grooming buddy!!! Female, only! Sorry, guys!). I may never attempt this again!!!

I have been working way too much the last few years to worry about the very rare instance of female company and have gone native!! Pretty hairy!!

So, started this grooming session by using Men's Nair on my back. Well, let me tell you - I may be double jointed, but hell no, I could not reach all the way around! Had the stuff on my hands, then on my forearms all the way to the elbow. Dawns on me, I DON"T want shaved arms!! Wash that shit OFF!!!! So, I wash my arms off. Did I get any in my hair!! OMG, no. How to get those open spaces in on my back, I will use a spatula, yea. That will work. Not very well. Sucks. Ok, looks like it is working. Hair coming off, good. Into the shower to wash it off. What the fuck! This stuff is thick. Directions: wipe off with damp towel. How the hell, it is on my BACK!!! So, I get an extra towel to use and start pulling the towel back and forth. One hand at shoulder, one at waist. It is coming off, good. This stuff is now sticky and has gooey balls of hair in it!!! What the hell! The melted hair balls are sticking to everything! Crap!! On my neck, under arms, butt.... dammit! Start washing with soap, ok, coming off. What a mess! Never again!

Ok, now to shave chest and other bits!! Shit, damn shave cream burns on back!!! Rinse that OFF!!! Oh, now I have shampoo in my eyes!! UGH!!!
Now, what the hell, menthol in that shave cream? OMG, my balls! More burning to put out!!! Rinse that off NOW!!!

Get out of shower thinking I need to go to a professional!! How the hell to the ladies deal with all this damn grooming - all the time!! I hate to shave, much less groom!! Nair, what is that evil cream? Just wipe off, YEA!! Who you kidding! You need a putty knife to get that off! And all those balls of "whatever" substance gooey protein strands become. Yuck!! All stuck in my under arm hair!!! Crap, they hurt when pulled off!!!! ARRRRG!!

Now, to shave face. New razor, yea! Ok, that was easy. A little deodorant and cologne. OMG!!! The burning!!! OH! Ouch!!! OH, Ok..... that was a mistake. Flesh now cauterized on chest and back!!

And I will have to FULLY rethink all this man-scaping!!!

Mav, all this for just a little future lovin'!!

dimplesfouryou 47F
24690 posts
8/26/2006 8:55 pm

Welcome to our world, sweetie! Isn't it fun? Fun post! Thanks!


maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:13 pm:
Oh, I have so much more respect!!! Thanks!

hornylilgirl78 107F

8/26/2006 9:53 pm

*collapses on the floor LMAO!!!!!*


"As kinky as a cheap garden hose!"

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:16 pm:
I knew you would love my "dork" moment!!!

941 posts
8/26/2006 11:34 pm

PMSL OMG you silly man, buy yourself a pair of hair clippers, should be stuff all from what you call Walmart. The nair is supposed to come with a scraper and for private parts (they all lie and say they come off easily). As for the back, have you ever had waxing b4? You`ve seen 40 Year Old Virgin...right? Just get someone to trim it with that clipper or if she hugs you, the look of pain on your face will have her wondering

Sounds like such a multitasking situation hey, yep, wax crotch, shave legs and pits, sigh....

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:19 pm:
I have hair clippers. Can't reach my back!

Oh, that stuff is nasty!!! Nair, Ha!!

Nope, never have tried waxing! Next time, for sure!!!

OMG, I was laughing so hard at that movie!!!

Yep, need a shave buddy!!! When are you coming to the states? LOL!!!

phoenix639 50F

8/27/2006 12:02 am

Lmao, wonderful vision you have given us Mav.

PS check your mail no not your male, your mail. Real mail not AdultFriendFinder. know that stuff called perm solution? Well the main active ingredient is ammonium thyoglycolate.

Guess what the active ingredient is in hair removal creams? Yup one & the same.

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:20 pm:
Got ya on the mail!

Nice, some toxic chemicals!!! Ugh!!

rm_WackyEPP 54F
8470 posts
8/27/2006 3:11 am

LMAO! Oh! Babe!

Think you'd better go look at [post 484994]

Wacky Jacky

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:21 pm:
Well, where were you when I needed the advice!!!! LOL!!!

HotDev1l 46M
1358 posts
8/27/2006 3:27 am

The things us guys do for the fairer sex

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:22 pm:
I KNOW!!!! Unbelievable!!! LOL!!!

Cozy_Red 51F

8/27/2006 3:50 am

Its a bitch aint it!!

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:23 pm:
Oh, I have so much more respect!!! Thanks!

It really is!!!

marathonman45202 54M
6640 posts
8/27/2006 8:14 am

I bought Nair For Men once. It went right into the trash after my first attempt to use it. The stuff smells like a lethal chemical!

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:24 pm:
Too true! That is what I used!! The rest is in the trash NOW!!!!

CB_2 52F

8/27/2006 8:48 am

Glad you warned me to put my cup of tea down, first, Mav! It really would have been all over my screen and keyboard.

We girls do generally put in some effort on the grooming front, but I've got to admit I don't often have to cream my back. LOL. It's a guy thing.

Yes, Nair is evil. I use a product called Hair No More, which I get (in the UK, but there's a .com site for the US) from It is by far the gentlest cream I've found for all the intimate areas (yes, I once nearly set my arse on fire with another product!). But not enough in a tube to do a serious back, I fear.

I like WackyEPP's post, making grooming a mutual fun job. Especially where you have to lick, to make sure the shave is close enough...

Anyway, by the time you read this, you'll have had your meet today. Hope it all went well. I will check your profile pic for the addition of a serious smile over the next few days....

Blogito ergo sum.

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:25 pm:
LOL!!!! We will see!!

MWWwantmore 52F

8/27/2006 9:06 am

LMAO Too funny, reminds me of the post on waxing that I posted a while back

I'll have a cafe, mocha, vodka, valium latte to go please!

Good girls go to heaven.....bad girls go down!!

maverick1255 replies on 8/27/2006 1:27 pm:
Oh, I have so much more respect!!!

Waxing is the next post. When the time comes!!


pussinboots571 106F

8/28/2006 7:01 am

Oh Mav, pmsl, I have tears rolling down my about male grooming gone wrong........................lmao


maverick1255 replies on 8/28/2006 11:56 am:
Yep, just figured I let it all show!!! LOL!!!

PlaynAgain 55F

8/28/2006 10:20 am

Definitely try waxing next time. It will make an interesting post!

"Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain."

maverick1255 replies on 8/28/2006 11:57 am:
That is the next time! I don't know if I am ready for the pain!!

MisterPriapus 58M
6980 posts
8/28/2006 4:35 pm

Ya know... in the Middle Ages, self-flagellation as a precursor leading to donning a hair-shirt was all the rage for the masochistically-minded religious set.

So if you took the Lord's name in vain while performing your ablutions (postcurser, so to speak), you could well be on your way to becomming a modern saint!

Personally, I've always felt that self-abuse should be fun, and perhaps be followed by a shower...


Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



maverick1255 replies on 8/28/2006 7:24 pm:
It was kinda like torture! But mental torture as well!!

Yes, fun and then a shower!!!

catkit13 67F

8/28/2006 5:37 pm

LMAO, mav - see what we women do for our men? too bad no one was around to capture it on film!
your friend in the desert,

maverick1255 replies on 8/28/2006 7:26 pm:
OMG, on film!!! Oh no! Then it could be played over and over!! LOL!!!!

ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/29/2006 12:36 am

Oh Maverick...*giggles*

maverick1255 replies on 8/29/2006 8:03 am:
Did you see "your" warning? That was for you!!!

rm_TCisback10 53M

8/30/2006 11:13 pm

Jesus H Christ!, what were ya think'n? I guess we all learn the hard way, maybe they need to renew the label:


I've got a nice crop of hair starting to grow on my back now and is starting to piss me off. Was thinking of the waxing thing. But once you start...

maverick1255 replies on 8/31/2006 4:04 am:
Yea, just had to try!

Yep, been thinking waxing is next!

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