Yes, there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  

rm_majik13den 55M
3 posts
11/1/2005 1:19 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Yes, there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Tonight, ok this morning since it's nearly 2 am.

My mood is much improved over my previous posts. I am back to my standard jovial self in spite of what's been going on around me. I've spent a good deal of the last week playing grief counselor. I have several people around me (including myself) who have lost someone dear to them during this time of year. Having been the first of our 'group' to have begun going through this, I've somehow become an expert of sorts on the feelings that go with it. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this does seem to be the case as I've been able to help each of those around me as they go through the necessary steps of growth that they are experiencing. Sometimes baby steps. Sometimes giant leaps. But we've all been going through them.

I know, it doesn't yet sound like my mood has improved, does it? It really has. It's ben a wonderful feeling to me to be able to help each of these dear friends (including one who's in the process of losing a loved one right now) to understand what they're feeling and to be able to accept that it's perfectly natural. For them to be able to recognize that each of their emotions is normal, even if it's not exactly what someone feels at the same time.

Anyway, yes my life is going well. And, given the site this blog is on I'll point out: No, I didn't get laid recently. That is not the cause of my mood. Really, it's because I've come to recognize how many dear friends I do have in my life and how much they depend upon me as I do them. Whether it's to offer a shoulder, or a place to crash if they've had too much to drink. If it's to quietly listen as they talk their way through something or to offer advice (solicited or otherwise) on how to get through. It's a good feeling to be able to help someone you care about. Even if it's by just making sure that person knows you care.

I'm also recognizing that, regardless what I've written in other posts about who I am, I am exactly who I want to be. I am a gentleman, first and foremost. I recognize that women are a treasure and deserve to be treated as such. I know that respect for a woman, just because she is a woman, is due to her. I also know that my ideas are seen as very outdated by most people in today's society. Perhaps that is why my Hallowe'en costume this year was that of a 19th century gentleman. -see the pic in my profile. It seems to fit me. Back to a time when being a gentleman was expected rather than seeming rather freakish.

What I fail to understand is why so many (no, not all) men treat women so badly these days. And why so many women accept it as normal. Unfortunately, that all seems to work against me as I begin to get to know a lady I've just met. They seem to wonder exactly how long my 'facade' will stay in place before the standard male behavior appears. Yes, I've heard this on more than one occasion recently. It tends to keep the lady on guard and watching. Wondering exactly what i'm up to. This makes it more difficult for her to relax and accept that there really is no 'facade' to crumble.

Even so, I will continue to be the man I am and will continue to treat each and every woman as the treasure she is. I'm finding that I can not do otherwise. No, I haven't tried, merely considered the possibility and dismissed it.

Whoever said life would be easy?

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