The Shortage of Real Men?  

SurerVisasJavel 37M
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3/4/2006 1:48 am

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3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Shortage of Real Men?

Well, it's another sleepless night. This is not a rare occurance.

I dunno about you, but whenever I'm up this late, I tend to get reflective. On a great many subjects. Usually it's simple, often financially-related stuff that most people tend to think about at the wee hours of the morning (ie: rent. )

More often than not it's subjects brought up by the 80's/90's kid in me that refuses to die; questioning how come Sugar Bear no longer has a Vitamin-Packed Punch, the bitterness I felt when Tommy usurped Jason for the leadership of the Power Rangers, or how that old slogan "Tang: It's a Kick in the Glass!" made me giggle like a schoolgirl for being this close | | to being a curse.

Tonight it's about manhood. Not in the vernacular used in those smarmy love fictions ("her supple fingers caressed his erect throbbing manhood"), but rather, at what point does typical joe male get to wake up, look around, and call himself a man. To be sure, this most likely is in no small part due to my perusal of the number of profiles on this site, in which ladies bemoan that there aren't enough quote-unquote "real men" about. It also stems from an encounter I recently had from this site, in which the lady went on and on about how much of a "sweetheart" I was simply because I brought some roses, and commented that she hadn't received roses from a man in a very long time. (She was older than me.)

Strangely enough, I hear this sometimes irl as well from female friends. Usually I write it off (my favorite response goes, "Yeah, men are all assholes. That's why I went back to women."), because, honestly, it's one side of a two-sided coin. (As opposed to being a one-sided coin.) Generally I contend that there are not enough "real men" around because there aren't enough "real women" around. But that's a discussion for another day.

Yeah, so anyway.... as I said, I would usually write this statement off, because in the case of irl, it's easy to figure out the situation and the persons involved, and understand what led to the point of the unfortunate chicka wishing for a "real man" to enter her life. But it wasn't until I jumped on here that I began to notice that the lack of real men looks to be something of an epidemic. Like, STAGGERINGLY so. I was only peripherally aware. But then again, I deserve some slack for that. After all, I'm not in the market for men.

Generally, according to women, the real man has certain shared qualities about them. Below is a semicomprehensive list; some or all of these seem to constitute the real man in the eyes of the female. To wit:
--Financially stable (first for a reason. . .)
--Funny (ie can make her laugh)
--Clever/Witty (not to be confused with funny)

There it is, a pretty cookie-cutter example of the "real man". This's usually desired in the shape of a good-looking, well groomed, and well hung gentleman with a capital Gentle. Oh yeah, and he also needs to know how to lay the pipe. A rarity indeed. You ladies that meet this guy, give me his number. I would be bisexual just for him. I'm not joking.

While it would be nice to find this guy, I feel that women need to realize that it's unrealistic. I feel that most men aspire to these qualities, but sometimes fall short (being only human after all, and the way men are hardwired to place a high priority on sex doesn't help much).

Most men possess a few of these qualities, maybe one or two in abundance, and are lacking in a few others. He might be clever/witty, charming, and funny, but lives with his parents. Or he might be everything except smart, classy, and romantic. Yet despite these things, so long as he intends to do right by you, does that stop him from being a "real man"?

Also take into consideration: guys generally like these qualities too. I'd love to meet a woman that's intelligent, witty, independent, honest, respectful, loyal, etc, etc. Those aren't too incredibly rare... but ones that are good looking/take care of themselves tend to be. If it's like that on the female side of the spectrum, I'm pretty certain it's the same for the guys.

I believe that finding a "real man" goes hand in hand with how you present yourself. A woman that doesn't possess some of these qualities herself, yet longs for a "real man", will most likely be longing for a long, long time.

As far as real men go, I always use my dad as my measuring stick. My pops married my mom pretty young, and they are still married (kudos to him). He married her even though I was another man's son, yet he raised me as though I was his own. As far as the qualities go, he is loyal, smart, honest, independant, respectful, VERY responsible, and somewhat classy. He is none of the others, is paunchy, and has a temper. Yet I would contend he is a "real man", and is what I aspire towards. I think I've succeeded so far. I've never stood any chickas up for a date yet.

In the end, despite what women say, despite what they "think" they want... the "real man" comes down to being something akin to beauty: in the eye of the beholder. But don't place your goals too lofty, or you might never be able to reach them after they're set.

I'm a 25 year old man. In terms of life experience I know I still have some growing up to do. But a man I am, no more, no less. And I make no apologies for my honesty.... after all, aren't all real men honest?

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