Reminded of a crush...  

rm_loneremily 34F
380 posts
7/21/2006 10:25 pm
Reminded of a crush...


I put in another blog about this guy that wanted to threesome with my ex and I a while ago.

I got to thinking about him, today.

He was the only guy I ever envisioned fooling around with while I was with the ex.

Everything about him was hot as hell. Even in the dippy uniform we had to wear at gay-ass quizno's, I could tell he had a body to drool about.

We always talked about sex. Always. He liked everything I had to say.

We would get stoned together after work (I don't toke, anymore, for those of you wondering). He gave me this line that he couldn't give me the number of his guy--or take my money to buy me some... Only HE could buy it. IF I wanted to have some, I had to smoke with him (good cover--I totally believe you).

My ex was known as a rebel in his old, and new again, town. The new guy lived there and had a posse derived of losers (although some were pretty sweet to look at) that idolized my ex.

The funny thing, though--I had heard from the ex of some instances at school... One where he avoided a fight by throwing a guy onto a table... One where he'd brought a sword to school for a project--even under the no-tolerance rules, this was allowed--Cannon Falls is an odd place. When he brought the sword to school, some guy was getting in his face, and he opened his coat (he has always worn a floor-length, black, trench coat) and exposed the sword as a form of intimidation.

Well--little hottie (he was two whole years younger than me, so I called him cutsy names like this) told me pretty much the same stories; only the first story, the guy's face was crushed in... And in the second--the sword turned into a machete.

He also painted a vivid picture of a gorgeous girl from Apple Valley (where I lived at the time) that was an amazing sex-goddess that my ex would drive so far to meet everyday.

Ummm... In the time frame, that girl was me. And in that time-frame, although he did drive to see me everyday, we'd never actually had sex. Merely tried to on several occassions to be thwarted by family and friends (probably the most frustrating time in my LIFE was when I first met the ex).

I told him that I was the girl seeing him at that time. I assured him that I was no goddess. After that, though, things were turned up a notch.

One day, whilst washing dishes (even though I'm allergic to FUCKING detergients) he inquired about circumcisions. He said he didn't know what it looked like when it was circumcized.

"I'm sure you are. It was customary when we were infants."
"Oh."

The next day, the subject was brought up, again. I was doing the dishes, again (that's pretty much all I ever did, because nobody else would fucking do them, and I'm a huge pushover).
"Well--what does it look like when it's NOT circumsized"
I understood what he was getting at. But at that time I wore a ring and felt it best fitting to play dumb.
"Well--have you ever seen a dog get an erection? It's probably the same deal. Furry jacket covering... Then when it gets hard, it comes out and is all pink and slimy looking."
He gave a face of disgust. I figured the subject was over...

The next day, again, with the circumcision question!
"Well, I asked my friend if they were pink and slimy--and they didn't know for sure. Neither do I. I figure if I showed you, you could tell me."
The epitome of suave, my friends.
"What? Here?" I say with a huge grin and start to laugh. He sheepishly steps away to do some work instead of trying to entice a mother who was in a good relationship.

See--I would've liked to see it. And touch it. And sit on it. But I didn't--I didn't because I valued fidelity.

The issue of cheating has come up in my life so many times, including with my own mother--who I feel had the greatest husband a woman could hope for.

Her reason was a valid reason to END THE RELATIONSHIP. My father was not sexual with her, anymore (yes, she assumed I wished to know... AND I DIDN'T).

My feelings are: if you feel you NEED to cheat--or rather--NEED to fuck another person (highly doubt it's slow and emotional); why don't you just end it out of respect?

It's different if both people have a desire for an open-relationship, and are comfortable with that situation.

I would like those that have been unfaithful to help me understand this issue, so that I may forgive those in my life that have been cheaters.

I was aroused by the above guy every time I saw him--to the degree of moistness. I'm not kidding. So, why was I different? What stopped me that couldn't stop someone else?

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