I've got me some BIG smiles!!!  

rm_loneremily 34F
380 posts
8/20/2006 7:58 am

Last Read:
9/10/2006 10:54 am

I've got me some BIG smiles!!!


Dearest friends:

For reasons beyond my control, I can pretty much only post on the weekends. If I can use the internet at a friend's house during the week... I usually make it a point to read the blogs that I watch. There are a lot of them, so my friend that has graciously let me use their comp probably doesn't like me spending EXTRA time to blog.

Unless it's my sister. She doesn't care. She also thinks I'm a "skank" (coming from a chick that's been with 24 people, I'd say that's rather rude!)

I'm also out of naughty pics that I like.

To topic:

Flash back to thursday night. I'm at FWB's house and I'm using the internet. His friend from the other night was online. He seems disinterested in talking to me--I surmised by his actions from the previous night.

I tell FWB that his bud doesn't seem to want to talk to me (in an 'I'm-amused' sort of way). He mentions that his girfriend was online and he probably felt nervous--or something.

With the eyebrow that can still effectively come to a point, I give him a glare and say, "He has a girlfriend?"
"Oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

This statement very much bugged me--but we were both hungry and I had a giftcard to Applebee's--so we went to dinner and then karaoke before I went home to bed.

Friday at work I kept on being bugged by this. I also kept being deviated from my line of thought because I had to work. I was by myself, so I had plenty to do (there are two secretaries).

That evening I went home--and after taking off my shoes I noticed my feet smelled pretty rank from being in my tennies with socks on. Ususally I wear open-toed shoes to work... But I was wearing a particularly sporty outfit that would've looked silly with my sleek open-toes (we have casual dress code at work).

I decide to wash my feet because FWB likes to offer foot massages and I wanted to seem at least SLIGHTLY feminine if he wanted to give me one.

As I was washing my feet--rinse, lather, rinse, soak, dry, lotion--I got to thinking about the scenario, again.

OK--If his friend didn't want me to know he had a girlfriend, that meant he thought he could get some from me. I had mentioned to FWB before that night about my little fantasy. It could have been really easy for him to tell his friend. HOW did he tell his friend? Was this super-slutty thing? Things happened that night that pointed to his friend thinking I was less than respectable (like how he spat his gum out on my carpet that I only noticed when I stepped on it, and the way in which he spoke to me)--which he would have only surmised by what FWB would have told him about me.

Getting another person's take on the double-stuff premeditated on the GUYS' end, I was given the advice to confront him about my suspicions... I had already partially done so on the previous night; but not to a degree of satisfaction... and to "cut him off" (meaning not do him, anymore--not chop off his willy).

He happened to call up at that second. He got my suspicions in a pissed-sounding, but not shouting or cussing, sort of way. On the other end it sounded like a guy who knew he'd be sleeping on the perverbial couch.

He said what I thought he'd say. He said he wanted to give me my fantasy and he knew his friend would be up for it. He said it was wrong to choose someone with a girlfriend but that he was more interested in pleasing me. And that he was sorry.

It was a good answer. If this scenario would've played out with my ex, I GUARANTEE his reply would be, "I dunno."

When I told FWB that he could just be a good liar, and that he could just be trying to play me, and that he was really tricky he said, "Emily, I wish I were that smart."

Also a very good answer. This is a guy that has told me that I was right, he was sorry, AND that I was smarter than he was all in the same conversation. How can you stay pissed at that?

And this is the affect I have on guys.

Choozmi 51M

8/20/2006 10:40 am

The FWB world is pretty tricky. I think each person has his/her own set of rules.

For some people being a friend-with-benefits means not telling their sex partners anything at all about their other sex partner(s).

For others, the relationship must be structured by rules.

I've always looked upon it as the wild west: you can't rely on laws or law enforcers to keep the peace, and right or wrong depends on what you are willing to put up with.

If you were bothered that one of your sex partners for a threesome actually had a girlfriend, you might want to look at that from another angle. There's an old saying involving a pot and a kettle.

Did the other guy actually lie to you? That might bother me if I were you but then again I make it a point to not ask certain questions in certain sexual situations unless I'm prepared to receive answers that might be dishonest.

You're in the wild west. You're no one's traditional girlfriend and none of them is your traditional boyfriend. Your lovers aren't necessarily going to apply the usual rules about honesty and full disclosure to their relationships with you. It's up to you to let them know what you will and won't put up with.

Frankly, what stands out for me is the fact that this clown threw gum on your carpet and talked to you with disrespect. Anyone showing me or my home any sort of disrespect would be kicked out immediately. "FWB" does not stand for "Treat Like Shit".


rm_aranayd 47M
2014 posts
8/20/2006 12:12 pm

It can be very hard to believe in someone who you feel has wronged you. The same words come from the mouths of liars as come from those who tell it plain. It can be damn-near impossible to tell the difference. Too bad your FWB had to put you in that position.

And the gum thing... Grrrrrr! I would be furious. A total sign of disrespect. Only an animal or a child who doesn't know any better would do something like that.

I'm glad my advise helped. When I said that you should cut him off (yes, from sex, not his johnson), it was because I get the impression that he likes you more than just as a FWB. But, that also depended on just how mad at him you were. In a situation like the one you have, one of the most effective ways for a woman to show her displeasure is by not sharing anymore. Expecially if that sharing is the basis for your involvement.

Good luck, and talk to you soon.


rm_loneremily 34F
328 posts
8/20/2006 8:11 pm

The one that spit gum in my carpet and spoke badly was FWB's friend. NOT FWB. Two different people.

The speaking badly part--it was just that I didn't like it. Some gals in that situation might like that sort of thing-- like you said... It's the wild west with no set of rules. I didn't make it clear that I don't like to be commanded.

FWB believes that his friend spit out his gum because he was very wrapped up in the moment. He couldn't find the garbage, and he was too excited to care. It still pissed me off, though.

Unless you're a hardcore slut--you SHOULD care if the one you're sleeping with has a significant other. The reason being is because you not only degrade yourself, but you possibly put the other woman's or man's dignity at risk. And their heart.

I choose NOT to be the one to hurt somebody else. That's not to point in my little "phase." I wish to give pleasure. I wish to receive it. I don't wish to harm anyone. I DON'T want a guy that's taken.

I played that game. It's not nice. I felt like shit. I DO NOT suggest it to anyone else. The part I hated the most was when he would tell me the things about his girlfriend that were unattractive. She was older than he was. Her boobs were too small (although they were the same size as mine). She didn't like certain positions. This, that, the other thing.

I thought that if she were so awful to him that they be better off apart. He would be happy because of how terrible she was to him, sexually. She would be happier because she would find someone worthy of her affection.

His choice? Cheat. My choice (at the time): to enable. Needless to say; I don't see him these days.


twirly_girl 48F

8/24/2006 11:07 pm

Wish I had that effect on men.


The FWB seemed to have all the right answers.

-Nikki


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