His side of the story---GRRR--the inconsiderate-NESS  

rm_loneremily 34F
380 posts
7/30/2006 8:18 am

Last Read:
8/7/2006 10:25 pm

His side of the story---GRRR--the inconsiderate-NESS

Told from my view--of course... There is bias.

My last semester started in early January. I had two babies, and I was at my due date for my latest baby. I was taking 20 credits and doing very well.

The world was fine. I was happy. We couldn't go out--but he said HE was happy, too.

I heard about Christa every time he worked. She was always in the back of my mind. I figured if something ever happened it would because of her and/or she'd be the first he'd run to.

After two weeks--I felt a shockwave of pain from where my baby had positioned herself. On the old incision scar (that wasn't fully healed from my other daughter), my baby would dance and kick--making existence unbearable.

I only left the couch to relieve myself. I always needed help to the bathroom.

We went to the hospital--no they wouldn't help us. We HAD to wait until our scheduled delivery date. Of course, I couldn't have pain killers--that might hurt my baby--I just had to suffer.

They gave me benedryl to help me sleep. I became delirious. Two seconds shy of my being committed, the father assured the doctors that I would not be left alone for the remaining week.

It was a lie.

When he worked I had to manage putting the kids to bed although I felt incredible stabbing in my abdomin.

Easily I was a loose cannon. I was constantly in pain. It never let up. I wanted to die--even had a "plan."

Finally the day came. It had been the longest week, ever.

Check-in, poke in the back, strap you down like jesus, put up the cloth, cut you open, yank out baby (YES--THEY YANK OUT THE BABY), staple you back up, bring you to your room.

PILLS. Damn it--was it nice NOT to feel pain, anymore. And the pills they gave me? Percocet. Take two of those and around comes a fuzzy feeling all through your body. Even though you'd been cut all along your waist--you feel like you could walk circles around that damned hospital with a dopey smile across your face the whole time. You also feel--just--WARM. It's so obvious why people can get addicted to those. WAY better than pot. And your eyes don't light up like christmas trees.

I was there for a week recovering. It was the longest stay I'd had. The doctors expected it because it takes longer for a body to heal each time.

Two days later--back to class. Against the advice of my doctors. They said I needed to rest for another two weeks. I knew my teachers would think otherwise (and I was correct--although I'd kept up work in one of my classes... The teacher docked me for "participation points." She also did this when another student's child fell ill).

I didn't heal for six weeks. I bled the whole time. The bleeding normally stops after two weeks.

I had the fuckiest time getting caught up on my work. It took all the way to the end of the semester.

In the meantime, I had what I like to call my "Spazzuerism."

I was sitting at my desk--quite stressed--and I felt a pinch at the back of my head. I lost a few minutes of time. When I came to; I couldn't remember what I was doing or how I got there.

I was confused. I couldn't think fast, or move fast, or TALK fast. I had to think about everything that I did--I was really freaked.

Back to the hospital. Four doctors wanted to speak to the 22 year old with the possible annuerism (they ALL thought 'annuerism'... So did .

My dad was with so the kids could be with their father. They knew something was up.

My dad looked very haggered. He didn't like to see his youngest like this. I kept testing myself; reading comprehension--listening comprehension--I got everything... Why was I so slow?

I had a CT scan. It came up fine. I saw the doctors crowding around it--What do you think, Bill? I dunno--Dave? I've never seen anything like this, before.

When I told them my situation, they all figured it was stress. Something about stress had caused it.

"You can't do a 20-credit college semester with two toddlers and a nursing baby--that's insane"
BTW--I hate when people misjudge my determination for INSANITY (not nice).

Then--in waltzes a nurse who takes a look at me and says, "I'll bet she has a weird migraine."

All of the doctors dismissed it. But they went ahead and gave me a migraine shot, anyway--What could it hurt?

Yup--it was a migraine. But they gave me a spinal tap to be sure. I don't know if you've ever had one of those... But you can feel the fluid splashing around in your spine once they do it. You can HEAR it slosh. And your back gets fucked up every now and again... Sometimes--if I made a sudden movement--I would lose feeling in my legs for a second. Right before I would completely crash, it would be back.

Welp--I was fine. But now I had migraines. I had them everyday. My school was going through construction. It was very hard to focus.

I would freak out. I popped pills like mad. If I'd catch it early enough--it might not get so bad--I wouldn't have to catch the room spinning... Maybe I could forgo the sickness and the incessant pounding in my skull.

I found myself constantly apologizing for my behavior.
"It's not me. Just a little bit longer, and all of this will be over. I'll have a good job--we'll be happy, again."

He couldn't wait for that. I was mean. I yelled. I complained about the messes that he made and never cleaned up (I had to do my homework--I couldn't do the cleaning--HE STILL MESSES UP MY HOME! HE JUST WAITS UNTIL AFTER I'VE CLEANED ALL DAY), and how I complained about him not finding a new job (he had gone for weeks without working--all the while not paying our bills and NOT telling me about it)--really; I was aweful because I was under more stress than I'd ever been under, before, and I couldn't control myself.

That's why this happened, he says. I was so miserable to endure. GGGRRRR, FUCKER! YOU CERTAINLY ARE THE WRETCH OF ALL WRETCHES!

Maybe I wouldn't have been under that kind of stress if I'd had the kind of support I needed! Did you ever think of that? NO! Because you are selfish! Your life with me was only good when I was coddling YOU!

It's a good thing you live with your mommy! I'm SICK of taking care of you!

The pic is not of my baby. It's just a funny pic I found.

Gossip_Anyone 42F

7/30/2006 11:11 am

i get bad migranes since my second kid. I had ever test done possible. no signs of anything. Now they think the endometriosis has something to do with it

rm_dosrev 40M
1991 posts
7/30/2006 7:15 pm

My brother used to suffer from horrible migraines. Its a real bitch to deal with, so I can only imagine how bad they are to actually suffer from. My sympathies.

"Enough of this palaver, lets get the show on the road!"
"The best thing about a day like that is that it can't get any worse. It was a bad day AND a Monday. The rest of the week has to be better." - Hotandsteamygirl


7/30/2006 11:18 pm

That is a mess and I say good riddance to him. Glad you just had migraines and hope they are under control. They can be a nightmare and sounds if you were living one. Hugs girl! {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

rm_aranayd 47M
2014 posts
7/30/2006 11:33 pm

Too miserable to endure? Let him try carrying three children to term, then have them cut out of him. Once he’s done that, and put up with a whiny asshole the whole time, then he might have some idea what miserable is. I’m a guy, but even I know that. No man, especially the father of said child, should EVER feel they have the right to say that they are being treated miserably or unfairly during a pregnancy. We just don’t know what miserable is. Not compared to that. You have every right to be angry.

Guys, pay attention. Women don’t want to hear any of your problems while they are pregnant with your child. Not for one second. I don’t care what went on before, she has too much going on now to care about your petty concerns. Unless the house is burning down, be prepared to swallow your problems and objections until the baby comes. But understand, even then it may not change. The new baby is going to need a lot of care, and you don’t compare to that demand. If you truly care about your child, you should understand that already.

Its just too bad that the father of your children won’t be reading this. He could use a wake-up call. Loving your children is all well and good, but a parent has to support them too. It sounds like he doesn’t. I think you can do better on your own.

Speaking of, I hope your first day goes/went well.

rm_loneremily 34F
328 posts
8/1/2006 8:57 pm

The father of my children will probably NEVER wake up. I tried for five years to get him to be a man. I'm done with that.

He still claims that he'll help and blah, blah, blah. Every time he does I just look him in the eyes and say, "I don't expect anything from you. Luckily, I don't need you."

He hates it when I say this. The truth hurts.

Choozmi 51M

8/1/2006 10:36 pm

I think aranayd put it very well and I agree with everything he said.

However, since he is the father of your children I wouldn't stop asking him to help with their upbringing even if you secretly know you don't need him. Child support isn't simply the right thing to do; it's the law. Make him pay what he owes and if he won't then get the law involved. An ex girlfriend of mine worked as a deputy district attorney handling child support cases and she found deadbeat parents everywhere she went -- and most of the time they simply didn't know how to file a case.

Choozmi 51M

8/2/2006 2:21 am

Excuse me, the CUSTODIAL parents didn't know how to file cases against the deadbeat paretnts.

My mistake.

rm_loneremily 34F
328 posts
8/6/2006 9:07 pm

I would pursue monetary help--but I KNOW that he would go to jail. He would get depressed and then he wouldn't do anything. That's why I won't do that as of yet.

I don't want the kids to miss out on their dad. I also think if I'm not too hard on him... And I don't act like a bitch about it, he might feel a little less stressed about getting a job--thus, making it easier for him to get one. Hard to explain.

There's a reason to my madness!

Gossip_Anyone 42F

8/7/2006 1:30 am

holy crap. Ive had migraines since after my second child. I have found that only zomig works. Pricey! I knock on wood thanking to lord I have MDs in my family or else i'd be fubared. I hope you never get another migraine

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