Sex and the Older Woman  

rm_lagano 52M
396 posts
4/20/2006 6:53 pm

Last Read:
4/22/2006 7:56 pm

Sex and the Older Woman


The post Sex and the older man got me thinking about sex and older women (hmm doesn't really need much for that).

If guys are supposed to get to a point in their lives where they are attracted to a young 20 something girl, then what about women, do they get attracted to the 20 something toy boy type then?

Well, if we water down the stereotypical hunky chippendale stripper, let's make it a more general, do women in there 40's or 50's prefer a younger guy to an older or similarly aged guy?

It wouldn't actually be altogether surprising if they did would it?

They might just be thinking they're having bad sex at home with a 40/50+ guy, so why on earth go out and look for more of the same, maybe they want a bit more "action" in the bed room than they have been getting so far!

To be honest, Sid sees more than just a few profiles of women who say they are only interested in the younger guy and exclude someone of there own age.

In fact, he wonders whether there aren't more 20 something women around who fancy the older guy than older women who fancy a guy of there own age!

He would like to hear your views, how do you feel about it, do you like older or younger guys?

And would any younger guys like to add their thoughts, do you prefer the older woman, do you come across older women on AdultFriendFinder looking for younger guys?

rm_mmmgoodnova 107M/107F
1259 posts
4/20/2006 7:38 pm

Well, as I said I'm not yet 40...but I'm getting there fast...and I'm getting lots of e-mails from the 23 to 28 year olds. It's flattering but at the same time I wonder if I will feel like Mrs. Robinson if I'm not careful...also for me it's a mindset thing...will someone that age really understand me or will it be all about the stamina (and frankly I think more experienced men take their time more)...

All that said, when I was 21 I had a great summer, part of which was due to the hot 18-year-old stud lifeguard at my pool (I would swim a mile to a mile and a half of laps every day back then; he liked my, ahem, cardiovascular endurance). It was a lot of fun but he had to go home to mommy every night! Even with just that 3 year age difference I felt like the older woman preying on the younger guy. Silly, really!--but we were just in such different places in life...I had already been working for a couple of years, had my own apartment, etc. and he was not even in college yet. Still, he helped teach ME to drive, so...

I guess I think it really depends on the persons involved...there are Cher types, and then there are Anna Nicole Smiths...LOL.


skinnerbox 53M/47F

4/21/2006 12:54 am

In the A-F-F context I started off seeing men my age, no more than four years’ age difference either way, younger or older.

The problem with most men my age, that is late 30s and above, is fivefold. They’re almost always one or a combination of the following:

- Attached
- Overweight
- Balding
- Lazy/Inactive/Apathetic with Life
- Emotional Issues/Too Wrapped Up in Themselves/Outwardly Blaming

I don’t need to spend my down time listening to problems when I already do this kind of thing in my day job. My area is children, but once people hear the word therapist, like a bowl of free sweets at the counter they’ll help themselves to what they can.

So, these are my criteria which isn’t asking for much at all when I take pains to look fabulous, and turn up at a meeting with someone with a beer gut and hasn't bothered to change, and that does narrow down the field considerably. And you know, while I’ve been ruled out as dating material by men my own age or older for being too old for them, is it mere coincidence that these often are the same kinds of men who don’t like it when I’m going out with younger men?

Ok, never mind that, I accept. So, I’m an old heifer.

Yet many continue to be ungracious and won’t let up with all the convenient stereotypes about the Older Woman Predator Defiling the Innocent Younger Man.

I was never on the hunt for younger men, they were throwing themselves at me.

Their exuberance is refreshing. I find the younger men I’ve met are less judgemental, FAR more open to a woman being independent and strong with her own interests and life. A man my age might look at my CD collection and say, “Wow, you like them? Aren’t they a bit loud?”

And let’s not be coy or diplomatic here. Of course sex with a lithe, hard young body can be phenomenal. Bordering on scary ‒ they stay hard and go all night. Any lack in experience is MORE than made up for with eagerness to learn and experiment.

No one bats an eyelid when men have been marrying/keeping for millennia women young enough to be their daughters or granddaughters but Demi Moore and her 16 year younger squeeze is apparently still news.

~ the leathery handbagged one ~


rm_lagano replies on 4/21/2006 3:01 am:
Hmmm,
Well +/- 4yrs seems quite restrictive in some respects, personally I wouldn't put an age limit so much as what they looked like, if I was attracted to a woman and they were +15 I wouldnt say "sorry..." but its your choice, so...

Can't really disagree with your 5 points, except maybe to add gay as a 6th if none of the previous 5 apply

Ok its just a fact of life that as time goes on most will marry so the older the age range you look at the more likely they are to be married and to some extent the other factors could be just in a way saying "older" in different ways, although I don't really accept that they are just a natural occurence of growing older at all.
I think it's some what of a cliched description of the middle aged guy and not something I would identify with myself but then again I don't go round looking for middle aged guys so I am no expert on that.

But anyway I won't disagree that if you apply the five criteria then the "pool" of qualified guys would obviously be very, very much smaller than if you applied it to some 20 somethings.

I was never on the hunt for younger men, they were throwing themselves at me.
I am sure that is true! I think it IS every young guys fantasy to find an "older woman" and given AdultFriendFinder they will search for them, I know I would if I were 20 something...

younger men I’ve met are less judgemental, FAR more open to a woman being independent and strong
Well that I don't concede, or at least I don't recognise that as being the case with older guys, I would have said older guys are much more content with who they are and don't feel threatened by a woman being independent or strong.

As for passing judgement on your CD collection well, why not, I like something in just about every genre but if I didn't like something I would say so, anyway I get told all the time "I don't like that country music stuff" but wouldn't dump someone for it, I would probably say well that's ok not all of us have a good taste in music lol.

I won't comment on sex with young guys, not in a position to judge, though speaking personally and from the reverse side of older guys with younger women, yes there is plenty of enthusiasm and energy, but generally it IS better with a more mature woman who understand's her body and the more sensual aspects of sex rather than just humping like the energizer bunny. Ok there are times when the energizer bunny is really good fun, but you do grow tired of it very quickly and not through lack of energy either.

Yes agreed society generally doesnt bat an eyelid for an older guy/younger woman and the reverse is very note worthy.

I wonder however whether that has more to do with societies perceptions that old/young relationship's must be mainly about sex and that women are not meant to be overtly sexual so this is what the issue is rather than trully about the age difference or double standards.

Yet many continue to be ungracious and won’t let up
Well I guess each of us has our own criteria for what it is we are looking for, though I don't understand why guys/gals should want to criticise someone else for there personal choices whatever they maybe be. I do feel that it is always a case of if rejected, for whatever reason, then just move on, I think it says a lot about someone if they don't/can't do that.

skinnerbox 53M/47F

4/21/2006 6:14 pm

Incisive responses as expected. Thank you. Just one niggling thing:

Hmmm,
Well +/- 4yrs seems quite restrictive in some respects, personally I wouldn't put an age limit so much as what they looked like, if I was attracted to a woman and they were +15 I wouldnt say "sorry..." but its your choice, so...


No, sir, you misinterpret me. Or rather, I should have qualified that more clearly. It wasn't a pre-set artificial age cap. My own personal experience just turned out that way. The men just happened to fall within that age range. Also, it happened that the older men who wrote to me didn’t come across as “wiser” or any more interesting intellectually than their younger counterparts. It’s always on a case by case basis.

For the sake of brevity it just sounds like I’m denigrating ALL older men and elevating ALL younger men when I’m not. I come across enough duds spread across both camps. It’s a summation of my own personal experience so far. That’s all. No one else’s. If there is my match in every way out there I hope to meet him one day. But I’m not sitting at home waiting for him to show up. Nor am I indiscriminately shagging almost sinfully young duds if they just haven’t got anything else to offer besides an awesome bod.

Between indeed older, interesting but looking like yesterday’s dog dinner, and younger, interesting AND hot, I think anyone can be forgiven for picking the younger specimen.

I have been physically and mentally attracted to older men (+10 years) up to 18 years older than myself. Though this was more in the context of traditional dating. They were more interested in settling into something more serious/long term quickly, I was (am) not ready to go down that road.


rm_lagano replies on 4/21/2006 8:42 pm:
Age things: OK thanks for clarifying, understand what your are saying now. I do agree brevity this format of conversation tends to enforce does lead to an over simplification of statements.

Yes I understand it's just a reflection of your own experiences, actually I don't mean to sound as if I was condemning your preference's in any way, it's simply your own personal choice and we are all absolutley free to define what we want without fear of criticism. The origin of this topic actually was derived from often guys are criticised for chasing after younger women instead of their own age group and asking the question were women really any different, not meant as a criticism of them for doing so at all.

I would digress for a moment to say that I feel the same about anyone who will only date say a certain race i.e. asian's who only prefer caucasian or only prefer asian etc., some pople I have seen call this a form of racism/descrimination but I don't see that at all its just personal a set of preferences about the type of person we are looking for and god help us all if we can't make the choice we want in this area, I want to take this aspect up in another topic later.

Ok that said...

Between indeed older, interesting but looking like yesterday’s dog dinner, and younger, interesting AND hot, I think anyone can be forgiven for picking the younger specimen.
Yes I think given that limited set of choices most would make the same decision. However I feel that its not really a fair set of choices, in reality there is a range of choices including any combination of age/looks/intelect, difficult to really imagine the choices were so limited, there again its is very likely the AdultFriendFinder "pool" is skewed demographically so I can't say your not valid in what your saying.

On the last part you are probably right, any guy who is 40+, single and not gay is probably getting a bit desperate to settle down, hmm that is unless divorced and running from any form of commitment, but then they probably fall foul of a few of the other criteria anyway lol.

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