Cyber/Phonesex  

rm_lagano 52M
396 posts
6/19/2006 1:35 am

Last Read:
6/24/2006 8:35 am

Cyber/Phonesex


Have you ever tried cybersex or phonesex with someone?

If you did what did you think of it, good, bad, boring?

I wonder is it more a guy thing or girl thing, are guys more likely to get into to it or is it a thing women like to do, ie they get aroused without the problems/concerns of actually meeting someone.

Would you phonesex/cybersex with someone you would never even for a moment consider meeting.

But the question I really want answered by you all is this.

Do you think having phone sex or cybersex count as cheating on someone?

I have tried both before though not sure if it really counts as with one woman 9 times out of 10 we would just get so worked up we would end up jumping in a cab and meeting so was never sure whether it counted as cyber/phonesex or it was just saying hello LOL.

But I have been asked by several other women about having cyber and phonesex and I would say it can be "intersting", in the right circumstances, though its nothing I would really be interested in suggesting myself.

Of ocurse it has its own particular problems, like when the person at the other end of the phone is clearly getting very very worked up and then....

The phone goes dead...

And you think :
1) She just had the most earth shattering orgasm, had a heart attack and now she's dead.
2) "Desperate Housewives" came on the TV and she was bored faking it.
3) The batteries must have gone on my mobile phone, damn.
4) You got two timed for some more interesting jerk with a better line in sex.
5) Ronaldo might have scored but you wont.

rm_mmmgoodnova 107M/107F
1259 posts
6/19/2006 5:55 am

6) She's married/attached and hubby/boyfriend, who doesn't know about her little cybersex hobby, just walked into the room.

Hmmm...I'm just not that interested in cybersex. I'm definitely a tactile person. Visual (a la webcam) and aural (a la heavy breathing into a phone) just don't do it for me the way that looking into someone's eyes, deep kissing, and touch do. If I want to masturbate, I can do it on my own and let my fantasies run free, without mentally editing the person on the other line when they say something that doesn't jibe with what I'm thinking at the time. Very distracting. LOL.

Well, actually I guess it can be a sort of appetizer, but more in the lines of a sexually charged, rife with innuendo conversation which--as you mentioned--in an ideal world means that half an hour later you're ripping off each others' clothes.


rm_lagano replies on 6/19/2006 6:01 pm:
"when they say something that doesn't jibe with what I'm thinking at the time. Very distracting. LOL"

adventuresome72 45M/49F
15 posts
6/22/2006 1:23 pm

Hi Lagano, I like reading your blog from time to time because you bring up a thought-provoker and throw in some good analysis (I think that perhaps we think along a similar vein (vain? {grin}).

>I find it surprising as in general you think that guys are better at visualisation, which is why they can get off on looking at porn etc

Umm, that is a contradiction. Men tend to look at porn specifically because they are less likely to provide a realistic internal representation -- whereas women are perhaps more capable *internal* visualizers and thus don't need to actually see a photo to make it real in their head. (Obviously the usual disclaimers for "tend" and generalizations apply).

I would have to think that women attracted to cybersex because of it's high safety factor. My experience is that most women feel sexy and aroused when they are: safe, comfortable, and secure (i.e., at home, with no distractions, with someone they trust) -- whereas, men feel sexy when they are: breathing, heart pumping, eyes open (i.e., anywhere, anytime, anyone?). Considering all the potential issues with meeting someone they don't really know, in a neutral setting (i.e., outside of their "regular" places because they are not sure if they want to include that person into their life yet), out somewhere public to begin with... well, we can see that it might be hard for a woman to jump right into sexy/aroused. Granted there are women who are very turned on by the whole: stranger, strange place, possible danger... but let's call them the minority for the time being.
So, for cybersex, a woman can be at home (safety/comfort) and if they care to, attach a (visualized) face of someone they trust to whoever they are cybering with = ingredients for feeling sexy/aroused = game on!

Could be I'm just talking out my ass, but in my experience (or lack thereof! LOL!), I have found the above to be true. I have yet to meet a woman who was very outgoing/aggresive with me (as a stranger)... but then maybe I've just never gone to the right bars, or maybe I project too much of a "boring/square" aura?!? /shrug.

For me, I can't really get off on the cyber aspect, I'm too tactile. I enjoy the beauty and uniqueness of a woman's body -- it's a kind of exploratory discovery kind of high, where you find wonderful surprises... unique surprises are hard to just invisage out of the blue in your mind... cause you haven't seen them yet! Hahaha

Cheers.


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