Trip to the gynecologist  

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
7028 posts
4/17/2006 8:49 pm

Last Read:
7/26/2006 8:51 pm

Trip to the gynecologist

Moving back closer to family has many nice things to recommend it. I've lived away from my family for the past 12 years, and it feels kinda nice to just drop in for a Sunday dinner. Homey.

But, as I'm sure you can all relate to, parents have the incredible facility to pose ambush questions.

"When was your last appointment?" my mom asked while dishing up dessert.

Uh, hell, I don't remember. I'm sure it was recently.

"Now that you've relocated, you need to re-establish your health care relationships."

Ok, mom. I'll take care of it.

"I'll have J call you this week to make an appointment."


I have what I can honestly say is the second-most weird relationship that a woman could have with her gynecologist. At least I don't have to deal with my dad ...

That's right, my gyno is ... Dr. Mom!

Well, mom, it really would be easier if I got a doctor in the city. Perhaps you could recommend someone ... ???

"Nonsense! I won't trust my daughter's health to some quack!"

So, I show up for my appointment today.

"Don't forget to bring any prescriptions ..."

Guys have it easy. Turn your head and cough ... Even for a procto, it's only a finger ... big deal.

I've got my feet up in the stirrups and she's got that torture device that's a cross between the jaws of life and a platypus, when she says, "How's your sex life?"

Just making small talk ... right? I've been dealing with this since I had my first period. When was the last time you discussed BC pills, condoms, and the latest journal articles on uncurable STDs with YOUR mom?

Draw blood. Need to check hormone levels. Make sure my current prescription is exactly right. Care to bet that it's also checked for every STD in the book while she's at it?

So, ladies, what's your weirdest story about a visit to our favorite "health care professional"?

rm_widget711 57M

4/17/2006 8:58 pm

OMG! That's hilarious. (and scary)

Sorry. Don't mean to crash your "ladies only" party. But when you're cringing, I figure an email is in order to let you know that you hit me between the eyes...

Cheers. I promise not to come back to read the posts that you ladies will share
-Have a great day

reverend21 50M
1913 posts
4/18/2006 12:46 am

you have my sympathies

curious082385 32F
4925 posts
4/18/2006 1:16 am

I had one time when my sister kept calling over and over again on my cell phone while I was on the table. Her ring tone is "Under the Sea" and my phone was set on loud. People outside the room kept singing along with it. By the time I was done, I had 13 missed calls. The gyno and I were laughing though.

caressmewell 54F

4/18/2006 5:31 am

I couldn't do it no matter how much I loved my mom...

DLiscious2 49M/43F

4/18/2006 7:45 am

K- Are you sure you're not a writer? You really have a gift. (If ever you wish to pursue it, get in touch with us.) What a hilarious post!

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/18/2006 7:55 am

DL - Thanks for the compliment. I have no idea what anyone would want me to write ... I've always considered myself a good editor and a very average writer ... something my professors agreed with.

rm_Kissmystuff 62F
1435 posts
4/18/2006 8:48 am

A scary visit for me the the gyn..was a few months ago. My pap came back positive. I had surgery for something else..between that discovery and the necessary follow-up. The ultra sound that followed showed the walls of my uterus much thicker than was normal..fibroids. The doc told me it was pre-cancerous. The biopsy..showed it had not developed into cancer..but they want me to be tested every few months just to be sure it doesn't become cancerous.

Your post is really the first a long time..that I've been able to view this whole subject with any lightness and humor. Thanks



rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/18/2006 9:50 am

Kiss - I know you've had some health problems. Hope you get to feeling better and wishing you the best. In spite of my personal aversion to going to my personal gyn, I hope that all women will make sure to keep regular appointments. It's really important.

Glad I could make you smile.

DLiscious2 49M/43F

4/18/2006 11:21 am

K- We cannot tell you how many professional writers we know who were told by teachers that they had no talent. In your case, not true. There is an economy to your sentences and an sense of structure to your storytelling that takes some years to learn.

You could successfully write whatever you like, we think. Expanded, your post would make a humorous essay for a women's magazine or even the humor page in the Sunday New York Times Magazine. What about fiction? What about erotica? Just suggestions.

If ever you would like to correspond privately about this, send us an e-mail through this site. We'd be glad to advise.

Allsleeky 37F

4/18/2006 6:05 pm

You are very brave!!
I see my gyn every year, have been with him for the past five or six years and so far no weird events have occurred!

ArgosPlumyKooky 46F
3902 posts
4/18/2006 7:46 pm

that is the most unique photo i have seen accompany a post yet. . . luv it very original. . . .i could never let my mother do that.. .you are brave

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/18/2006 9:40 pm

To all the ladies who say, "I would never let my mother ..." you have to understand that this started with my first period. I was 13, and had a mom who was a gynecologist from the time I was born (my dad says she was a lousy patient, LOL!). My mom sat me down at 12 and told me that my body was changing, and what to expect. As she saw the changes, we had further "conversations". It all broke down when I was 16, and when I had to make honest with her, she took it all in stride and was incredibly supportive. She's my hero. I can't say no to her. I don't ever want to say no to her.

EverReady343 48M

4/19/2006 12:07 am

Be careful,your mum really knows the INS and outs of what you have been up too!

What I would like to know: Is there any girls out there that have been excited when a hot doc is looking or touches them?
I wonder if the doctor( male or female because there is so many bi or bi curious females today ) can tell if a women has been aroused by them. They might think that there extremely wet for some other reason.

Love EverReady

Beef10 51M  
23 posts
4/19/2006 6:31 am

Jaws/Platypuss, LOL. Very good writer indeed. Mom as hot as you are? Amazing figure!

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/19/2006 7:27 am

everready - do you get hot during a procto exam? How about a trip to the dentist? A gyno exam is not a sexy experience ... humiliating is more like it.

EverReady343 48M

4/19/2006 11:26 am

    Quoting rm_kelli4u2dew:
    everready - do you get hot during a procto exam? How about a trip to the dentist? A gyno exam is not a sexy experience ... humiliating is more like it.
I hardly ever go to the doctors and have never had a procto exam.
Ive been to the dentist a few times and the dental nurse there was so hot.
I totally understand where your coming from. I wouldn't want to spread my legs in front of a doctor either.
I think I went a little to far when I mentioned the wet bits. Sorry if I offend you! You must think I'm some kind of sicko! I'm not. I was just playing around.
NOW fully clothed, is it possible for a doctor and a patient to fancy each other?

I wish I could view your profile because it would be nice to place a face with that hot body of yours.

Keep up the interesting posts!


VATraveler1948 69M

4/19/2006 12:17 pm

Here's a link to a post in angelofmercy5's blog. It describes a recent trip to her doctors office, it was a consult from her last GYN appointment. Sex Talk

rm_pibbsames 36M/45F
3 posts
4/19/2006 4:20 pm

There's always that uncomfortable silence when the feet go up. I finally found a good doc and he always starts a conversation before the uncomfortable silence part; however, one conversation started, "So...did you file taxes yet?" I really can't think about taxes when I'm in that position, call me crazy

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 4/19/2006 4:23 pm:
LOL! I guess he was trying to take your mind off the exam.

swallowsdontspit 65M
276 posts
4/19/2006 6:39 pm

k4u2d, well a couple of stories; while a student on ob-gyn rotation, and learning the intricacies of the pelvic exam, the professor had the guys assume the stirrup position with the sheets up over the knees. female students then sat and examined the guys. believe me when i tell you that you learn to perform the pelvic exam "gently, tenderly, and with feeling" once you've had your jewels/ balls at the mercy of another. and another thing, don't forget to warm up that damn speculum (not as big a problem with plastic instead of metal-but still needs lube). a lesson learned and not easily forgotten. better stop here with my stories; if i tell you all my secrets, i won't have any.

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/19/2006 7:55 pm

swallows - LOL!!! I wish that all male doctors had gone through your program! Yes, I've had a gyn (one time only - I didn't go back) who did not warm the speculum. Sorry bastard!

Thanks for the laugh!

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
4/19/2006 10:35 pm

Kelli....I guess it would be awkward to have your mom be your gyn doctor! But it could be worse! Thanks for linking me over here....I enjoyed reading this one!

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 4/19/2006 10:46 pm:
Well, VanTraveler sent me to your place, figured I'd return the favor.

swallowsdontspit 65M
276 posts
4/20/2006 7:50 am

k4u2d, to comment on ER343, when working in a rural clinic, i was assigned to the ob/prenatal-gyn service. a certain pt regularly visited with vaginal complaints that neccessiated a pelvic exam. after several of these "normal" exams, my nurse and i noticed that she would become visibly excited-anxious in the waiting room, nervous, sweating and kinda rock her legs back and forth while in the stirrups. we had to refer her to another provider in the group under the guise that i was unable to diagnose her problem (hyper-horni-nemia). to my knowledge he never had the same problem (he was about 23 yrs my senior).

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 4/20/2006 9:47 am:
I take it she wasn't your type? LOL!

NSAAddict 43F

4/21/2006 3:09 pm

LMAO even thinking about my mom being my gyno... I'd probably still be avirgin! Great post K

fantasylover_05 63M

4/24/2006 10:36 am


I can't even begin to think about that!!

I guess I kind of asked myself.. "what if my dad was MY UROLOGIST?"


There is just NO F**KING WAY!!

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