Treat him gently ...  

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
7028 posts
8/17/2006 9:04 am

Last Read:
9/4/2006 5:51 pm

Treat him gently ...

First dates are such a crap shoot. Both people have butterflies, hopes and fears running around their heads. No matter how many IMs or phone conversations you've had, how many emails opening your mind, your life, your soul, you don't know until you're face to face with someone how things will unfold.

When I first started on this site last fall, I almost quit. The initial flood of emails, network invites, and winks was so overwhelming that I turned off my profile to try and sort through them all. Most of the emails were appalling. Some made me sick to my stomach.

My friend W sat down with me, and we wrote a new profile designed to be extremely specific about what I wanted, but also designed to be sarcastically humorous to catch the eye of the right kind of person.

When I turned that profile on, one of the first emails I received was this one:

Subject: LMAO!!!

I love your profile! I haven't laughed so much in a long time. Thank you so much!

You go, girl! Good luck, and I hope you find someone who appreciates what a wonder you are.

Take care,

I wrote him back, and we exchanged several emails, then IM addresses, and finally he gave me his phone number and I called him one night. During that correspondence, he asked me if I knew about the blogs, and I started reading some blogs, and eventually started my own blog. Then we met for dinner one night.

There were some things I already knew about him that were very intriguing, such as the fact we shared a birthday, and that he was old enough to be my father. I knew that we shared some common interests, and had both grown up in the Rockies but now were in Kentucky. I knew that he was playfully flirty and a flatterer.

What I was not prepared for was how quiet and thoughtful he was in person. Very respectful and gentlemanly. Far more intelligent than he had seemed in emails or on the phone, more direct and honest. The way he held the door for me, took my coat, held my chair. I was immediately charmed.

I don't know which one of us first mentioned Russia, but it was such a surprise to find that we both shared a deep interest in that country, indeed had been there twice at almost the same times. Backpacking, sports, the outdoors, our political views ... so many connections.

We became lovers.

Then, less than two months later, he got a job on the other side of the country and was gone.

Then I got a transfer that put us only 450 miles apart, close enough that we could get together occasionally for a weekend. Our friendship has grown and become much deeper over time. It transcends the physical relationship, although that remains a wonderful, exciting thing.

And now he has another job, back to the east coast, two time zones across the country. I asked him if he does this on purpose, if he's running away from me, and he just laughs.

So, to those of you in the southeastern U.S., my best male friend, my sometimes lover, sometimes critic, all the time best source of advice and wisdom, blueguy1051 is moving to South Carolina.

If you get the chance to meet him, I think you'll enjoy his company, his friendship. As a favor to me, treat him gently ...

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
8/17/2006 9:39 am

I don't know if I should offer condolences or not.... after all, in a couple of months he'll be moving again.....

If you feel the need to look up another old man who lives less than 1000 miles away from you, I'm always here....

I made a comment in my blog about astrology and how it's raining shit everywhere... and today I'm just keep encountering more of it....

None of it is near me, but the fallout, in terms of loss of the ones I count on for emotional support, has been staggering....

I think I'll go hide my head under a pillow until it's time to go back to work.... no, I can't do that, I'm supposed to post today... if I can do it without feeling sorry for myself.... must need to take my meds....

rm_KingEdain 47M
1848 posts
8/17/2006 10:17 am

Sorry to hear about this problem..... seems like every time you get things right for you both off he goes. Wish there was something i could do for you other then offer my support. By the way.... i like the new pic... nice.

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 11:13 am:
It's all good. He's never been mine to own, only to borrow.

Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
8/17/2006 10:46 am

Wow! Such a romantic tale that could be made into a movie! Sometimes, people come along and it's just meant to be... but maybe just not right now. I sincerely hope you two find yourselves just a short drive apart one day.

Isn't it funny how that's the kind of email that gets us interested? Something just showing interest in you as a PERSON, and not expecting or even asking for a hook-up? That's pretty much exactly how my newest flame started off with me.

Gosh, I hope he doesn't move away from me....
Hippie XXX

How to Get Laid on AFF The Basics
Have fun, play safe!

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 9:02 pm:
Yes, it's the emails that have something to say, that show interest in me, in my mind, that spark my interest in them.

fantasylover_05 63M

8/17/2006 10:52 am

What a great tribute for what sounds like a great guy!! I am thrilled you got to share together and hopefully he will get yet another transfer BACK to you!!!

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 11:14 am:
It would have been nice if he got a job in Denver, but the economy here isn't that good.

fantasylover_05 63M

8/17/2006 10:54 am


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 11:15 am:
Hey, what can I say? I'm hard to live with!

OboesHonedIambs 63F

8/17/2006 12:38 pm

I've been lucky enough to meet Blueguy and he is everybit as nice as you say and I'm fortunate to have made a good new friend - who is leaving too soon. But the right coast folks in SC and area will be getting to know a heck of a good guy.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 5:53 pm:
Yes, he's a sweetie.

woofff 42F

8/17/2006 1:16 pm

Dear Kelli
I will just say that had you not made the effort, well, it would've been my loss. I thank you.What happens on my end is that I look for expression. Intensity writing. That is like a blueprint to me of who the person I have engaged in a conversation is. The challenge with your comments was that you left no trace of anything behind... just your opinions - or rather, I couldn't interpret your humor.

I'l be going now. I'l drop in on you though if I may. Unless you don't want me to.But I do not think you are going to have a problem.
May I send an email to you with my private email address?

Since I am blocked from sending you and email, I have to reply here. Delete after you read, if you wish. (And my blog is open to comments from all). My sincerest apologies, Woofff. I was attempting to be playful and humourous, tongue-in-cheek, but you misinterpreted it. That is my fault, and I'm sorry. I never meant to trivialize your concerns, or say that they are irrelevant or unimportant. I never go into someone's blog and attempt to mock or demean them. It is rude, and I am not a hurtful person. I read your blog because I think you are smart and insightful and you express emotions and thoughts in a very personal way that makes me think and feel. Again, I am sorry that I hurt you. That was never my intention. I won't bother you again.

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 5:52 pm:
Of course, Woofff. It's bothered me all day. I'm very glad we're ok. Hugs, pretty lady.

woofff 42F

8/17/2006 1:18 pm

What a beautiful deep experience for you. You write very well. I hadn't realized.

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 5:53 pm:
Thank you.

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 5:54 pm:
For anyone who has not met this lady, I suggest you check out her blog, and also Abqlady above. Both are very, very good.

T_A_B_75 43M

8/17/2006 2:47 pm

It's a fairy tale, hopefully with a fairy tale ending.

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 5:55 pm:
No, no fairy tale ending. But hopefully no ending ...


8/17/2006 3:05 pm

Hi Kelli,
Send your friend to my site and I'll be glad to help him get situated in any way I can. SC is a whole different world from the west.(lived in Albuquerque for 2 yrs and spent 7 summers there as well) I'm barely south of Myrtle Beach. I love this place to death, but it took a year to learn the southern "rules". (get a "WWBD" bumper sticker-What Would Bubba Do?, learn to actually EAT grits, etc.) lol Any friend of yours . . .

Bronzehalo 2007

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 5:57 pm:
I will do that! Thanks! I think he's checked on who the bloggers are in the area, and said he planned to try and meet people.

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
8/17/2006 3:34 pm

I loved this post, Kelli.

I keep swirling around the idea that we are all brought here by some huge cosmic design. It started as a joke about A F F being the mothership calling us home, but you know...I'm beginning to wonder if there's something in that. Not the mothership part, heh, but that somehow we were all supposed to find each other at this time.

I don't know.

Good post, tho. And I have a feeling this friendship of yours is going to keep weaving in and out of your life for quite awhile yet.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 5:58 pm:
Whatever it does over time, I know I've made a life-long friend. And how much more than that can any of us ask?

mysticdreamangel 62F
2759 posts
8/17/2006 4:04 pm

What a beautiful post, written by a beautiful woman. I believe that you and Blue were meant to meet and that your relationship will endure through time.

Hugs and kisses to you both!

tootsiedippin 54M/54F
1078 posts
8/17/2006 4:18 pm

Thats wierd a close friend of our is in the process of moving a state away. It might as well be the east coast because of the family. She will be around even now and then but.....

Blue be safe in your new travels. You need to take care of this girl. Do you have ANY Idea how rare it is to find someone who doesn't mind you are "blue"?

Our friend, Kelly, and My Tootsie....short list

Dippin<--- And what color should a Smurf be?

rm_luvsyou4 54M
18 posts
8/17/2006 4:44 pm

Wow! That's a type of connection that I would love to make. Someone who can be a friend, lover, someone you can count on and reach out to...where the distance doesn't seem to matter when their needed. Great, great story!!!!

blueguy1051 61M

8/17/2006 6:11 pm

You're incorrigible, you know that?

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/17/2006 8:54 pm:
That's what my daddy says! It's a good thing, right?

RevJoseyWales 70M/67F
14393 posts
8/17/2006 6:28 pm

But of course, and blue already knows he's welcome here. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

tadpudgy 57M

8/17/2006 7:54 pm

Living in Charleston, SC myself....i just had to post. Great to share that sometimes we get it right now and again. Age was not a factor, distance was not a factor, well, i feel that this is one of those situations where you will have a "until the next time"!!! Kelli, you know, as a Pushkin descendent(mentioned this in very early post on your blogs) I love a great story, and you and he have a great novel in progress. It inspires us poets!!! HUG=GASMS!!

SingleWarrior 53M

8/17/2006 9:08 pm

Oh how I wish I was the guy in a situation like that (without the moving around)...

Perchance2000 58M

8/17/2006 10:38 pm

If testimonials were anything close to (though probably never would be quite like) your introduction - they might actually be meaningful.

I continue to admire your candor and your writing.

And if Blue came further up North, there would be more people waiting to show him around . . . though I have the sense that he would introduce himself, and then find his way, pretty much any where by himself (no more proof needed that he can do it in New York as well).

Glimmer_Man06 48M
3308 posts
8/17/2006 11:18 pm

Blue is truely a fantastic man and a good friend! He was lucky to find you, and you him. I wish things would work out so that you could both spend more time together. I have never ran across 2 people that deserve one another more than you 2.

They say a woman ages like fine wine...

...mine ages like milk!

economickrisis 56M

8/18/2006 1:46 am

Ive read blue's blog and he seems like a real decent bloke. Very brainy too.

I was kinda wonderin ....if he's hottin the toby, yer probably gunna be free, like. If yer are, can I ask ya if ya can cut bait and clean fish

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/18/2006 6:52 am:
Silly man! That's men's work. I just catch them after you've baited my hook.

UdderPuttyBiped 38M
102 posts
8/18/2006 4:53 am

It warms my heart to know that people are capable of that kind of friendship, and I am envious and hope someday to have something like that as well.

However, I do have to say that it constantly amazes me that the best way to get a girl to have sex with you is to pretend that you aren't trying to get her to have sex with you. What's up with that? Why is it necessary to do that dance? I'll be honest with you, I hear a story like that and it starts me to thinking about how I can act like I don't care about getting laid, which of course is rubbish and I have to remind myself that I am not a guy who lies to get women. Never have, don't wanna start.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am only interested in one thing or that friendship is not worthwhile, far from it. I am just saying, why can't we say "I'd like to have the opportunity to have sex with you, but hey even you decide not to it would still be time well spent to make a new friend."

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/18/2006 6:50 am:
If you've read much of my blog, you know that I'm not shy or play hard-to-get. I was the aggressor in the relationship, and he kept saying I'm too young for him ... something he still says.

I don't think its men pretending they're not interested in getting laid (check hippy's comment above). Its them expressing interest in us as people, the whole package. The sex comes naturally after that.

toothysmile 51M
16517 posts
8/18/2006 5:59 am

what a wonderful post!... more than anything this shows me the kind of person you are. the way we speak about our friends, our lovers... says a lot about who we are.
it's a pity that he's going away; but at least you were both fortunate to meet and get to know each other. and i'm sure you'll meet again, perhaps sooner than you know.
best of luck to both of you.

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/18/2006 6:51 am:
Hey, where's the new pic?

caressmewell 54F

8/18/2006 6:47 am

You know that I will.

This post almost makes me feel guilty about meeting Blue. Almost!

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/18/2006 8:14 am:
Don't. Hugs.

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
8/18/2006 12:57 pm

what a happy sad post all rolled into one>I do love 1hotwahine comment,i'm a great one for fate,if things are meant to be there meant to be
Hugs honey

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_devilsgrin69 52M
223 posts
8/18/2006 8:40 pm

Wow, a reverse Sleepless in Seattle.
I thought it only happens in country music. LOL
You know what you get when you play country music backwards...

Sorry to hear about it.
My thoughts are with you, Good Kell Hunting.
If ever in Toronto, give me a call.
I could show the sights.
Like The big CN Tower (folic symbolism)
Right beside the always opening & closing Retractable Dome
(Symbolism for the female vagina)
Now who in city planning could think of something like that and get away with it... LOL


GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
8/19/2006 12:16 pm

~ nodz in agreement ~ with the beautiful post by a beautiful woman (and in so many wayz too).

There are many who are too scared to actuallly meet, and they're missing out on so much. I've met some very special people through here. Both of you apparently have as well .... congratulations on that.

may your special relationship last...

SlowPlayin 51M

8/21/2006 11:27 am

It's always alot nicer to be friends first before having sex ... hmmmm ... you'd think I would've learned that lesson by now. I guess I'll keep getting up every morning and going to school. Good post, Kelli ... I hope you're doing well.

rm_Benkai7 56M
2358 posts
8/23/2006 2:58 pm

Dear "kelli4u2dew".

... some friends stay friends in any way ... no distance and experience matters ... rare diamonds ... rare pearls ...


MillsShipsGayly 52M

8/25/2006 8:57 am

This post is very sweet ...

(now about my boring emails )

StaynHardnHot 43M
305 posts
8/27/2006 12:11 pm

Just curious Kell...did you delete my post..??

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/27/2006 2:45 pm:
I don't think so ... which one? On this post?

StaynHardnHot 43M
305 posts
8/30/2006 9:20 am

Just curious Kell...did you delete my post..??

kelli4u2dew replies on 8/27/2006 5:45 pm:
I don't think so ... which one? On this post? was rather long, well thought out and very flattering i thought...i even checked it for spelling errors just for you!!....oh well...i guess AdultFriendFinder doesnt like you getting too many compliments

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 8/31/2006 3:11 am:
No, hon. I would have emailed you if I'd done that. Comments sometimes don't stick, and responses don't sometimes either. This friendly site works sooooo well ...

StaynHardnHot 43M
305 posts
8/31/2006 7:31 pm

I didnt think you would without telling are so beautifully honest..

NSAAddict 43F

9/1/2006 3:37 pm

Don't know if it's PMS or what but this post made me get all emotional I have a Blue too and this is exactly how I'd like to see him off when the time comes (hoping that's wayyy far away!!). Such a sweet post and a nice tribute. Glad you had him in your life, and hopefully he'll move back your way again

rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 9/1/2006 3:45 pm:
Thank you. He's still in my life ... just not the way I wish. Glad you found someone you feel that way about.

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