A difficult day  

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
7028 posts
4/3/2006 10:40 am

Last Read:
5/24/2006 7:33 pm

A difficult day

I had a wonderful weekend. Left Moscow, flew to JFK with the kid from hell sitting in front of me (accompanied by the disfuctional mother of the year), went through customs, then to Cincinnati, to Louisville, then instead of home, to corporate headquarters. I got an email just before leaving Moscow that my presence was requested for a de-briefing after my trip (first time I realized I work for a CIA front operation).

So, sitting in a fancy hotel at the company's expense, jet-lagged to beat the band, and catching up on the blogging scene before my 4 pm meeting with the brass.

First thing this morning, logged on and checked email and discovered that one of my most favorite bloggers had sent me a network invite! Put a smile on my face to be sure!

I proceeded to check out my watch list, and found, to my dismay, that TabithaElectra79 has removed her blog - gone as if all the wonderful things she's written had never existed.

Then read a number of very funny pieces by SaintLianna, the LilFondler, Frogger, myreallover, and others, which kept the smile up. Posted one of my own that I thought was funny.

Normally, this is a very difficult day for me. It would have been my brother's 37th birthday. After 13 years, I still miss him. So to have a lot of truly funny stuff to read was nice.

Then, I checked this post Willows Aren't The Only Trees That Weep, and it took awhile to get through it. I started crying in the middle, as my brother's death hit me, and then I cried again at the end.

What a wonderful piece of writing that I wish I hadn't read today.

SirluvsStorms 47M
684 posts
4/3/2006 10:57 am

We sometimes fight for the right to cry and feel the loss, the emtiness the hollow that seems to be there. Yet we also can allow our self to feel the hugs the love that they shared with us when they were with us. meow344 posted a little note that helped me out she wrote: "We never do lose them..The gifts of memories and how they enriched our lives stay with us..We lose the *hugs* but if we reach down within us,we can still feel them for they become part of our souls.."

SirluvsStorms 47M
684 posts
4/3/2006 11:00 am

Got debriefed in Houston before heading to Sacramento just recently.. was easy this time

reverend21 50M
1913 posts
4/3/2006 12:19 pm

Sounds like you work for a few companies that I have worked for. I lost a brother as well, still miss him from time to time, if there is anything I can do to help, feel free to contact me, I am at your disposal.

velvethandsNZ 69M

4/3/2006 12:29 pm

Jet lag and mourning - seem appropriate together somehow. Remember the great times (not for work silly!) and as far as work is concerned, they've shown so much consideration for your physiognamy you should do a Nixon - "I don't remember" with the suffix - maybe I will after a long sleep!

Love long and prosper

rm_sj365 57F
2414 posts
4/3/2006 1:09 pm

I'm sorry for making you cry...

be well...be happy...hug yourself for me today.

SlowPlayin 51M

4/3/2006 4:20 pm

I'm glad to see you made it home safely. Tears can sometimes fill the void left by someone lost ... I'm glad that you were able to spend some time with your brother's memories. I wish I would let myself do that more often.

blueguy1051 61M

4/3/2006 5:05 pm

So you're not home yet? What the hell do they want now? Please don't tell me they're transferring you to Moscow ...

Be well, honey. Call if you need to.


ronniexoxoxo 50M

4/3/2006 6:21 pm

I'm sorry to hear of your brother. I too have lost 13 close family members. One being a first cousin that was actually close as my only brother, and my Dad in 97. I had to post because I too posted my last post on my blog as sad. From one person that knows pain to another, I feel for you. ((((Kelli)))) I like your blog. Take Care, Ronnie

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/3/2006 7:26 pm

sj - I answered on your blog. Thank you so much.

Blue - Perhaps tomorrow after I get home. So much to tell. Maybe you can help me make sense of some of it. And no, no transfer.

As for the de-briefing, the side trip was worth it. They're going to reimburse both me and W our plane fare. She doesn't even work for the company.

ArgosPlumyKooky 46F
3902 posts
4/3/2006 7:31 pm

sometimes the pain hits. no control over how when or where

sassybelle21 33F  
13313 posts
4/4/2006 9:37 am

I'm sorry to hear about his death Kelli I hope he's happier now.

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/4/2006 9:29 pm

It's been 13 years, but some days make it seem like yesterday. I wonder if by the time I'm 90 every date will have some kind of significance attached to it?

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
4/5/2006 8:47 am

Yes, I too was sadened by tab's departure... She has a lot of stuff going on in her life right now, I'm assuming, and felt she needed to take a break.

SJ's work is truly great!

I like your blog. You seem to be a great lady! Keep it up, as I would truly miss it if you, too, disappeared.

StaynHardnHot 43M
305 posts
4/7/2006 12:22 am

I wish on this day of sorrow you could have been with friends and family, but know that even though none of us could ever pretend to know your grief, we all share your pain that you now edure because of the deep rooted affection we all have for you..

Always, Chris

Become a member to create a blog