i had some dreams...they were clouds in my coffee.......  

rm_kalisweet 48F
326 posts
6/29/2006 2:38 am
i had some dreams...they were clouds in my coffee.......

I'm in the mood to ramble.......bear with me.

I have been changing my settings on this site almost daily for two weeks now. I can't decide where I am at......do I want to meet anyone new? How picky should I be? I guess I would say I am here for fantasy fulfillment, but if I happen to meet someone special.......that might be cool too. Maybe I am just the most fickle woman on the planet.......some days it seems that way.

The fantasy fulfillment part of it has been great.....oh my. But frustrating. The thing is, young men are oh so wonderful, but they are young men and easily distracted. Yes indeed...I have found someone I can't stop thinking about, yet he can obviously put me to the side very easily. I understand and accept this (it far from the first time in my life it has happened) but it hurts and makes me angry when I don't get treated with the courtesy I think I deserve. I have decided, for now, to accept this as part of the price. Because the rewards are just devastatingly wonderful.....when they come.

But.......in my 'downtime' I don't know what to do. I want male attention. But in the midst of this obsession I am in, no one can measure up. God what a mess I am......

The thing with me is that when something awesome happens to me, I want to tell everyone. But when I do, that's when it all goes to hell. Then I have to suffer when repeatedly asked "what's going on with..." And I have to say, yes once again, life bit me on the ass. I hate it and I'm sick of it. Just once, just once...please?

Oh, I know this makes no sense at all......I'm going to go listen to Bryan Ferry now.

Peace and luv to all..... Kali XXX

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