Life is a cold cruel teacher  

rm_justsex646 53M
1 posts
2/1/2006 8:59 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Life is a cold cruel teacher

As I posted before, my wife of 11 1/2 years has asked me for a divorce. She was also the girl I dated in High School 10 years prior to getting back together and eventually becoming a couple.

When we got back together, she had a 6 year old son and was living in a gang and drug infested part of town. She never knew where or when her next meal would come. She moved from one place to another because she couldn't make the rent.

When we got married I took her from that life and together we made a nice comfortable home. Together we were able to send her son my stepson to a school in a better part town. Always moving upward.

Well our son turned 18 last year and he graduates High School this year. The very same year she has asked me for a divorce. At first she told me all of the things that she didn't like about me and said that it was my fault.

For a while I believed them, some were true, I am lazy around the house. But something just didn't seem right with the whole thing. I mean people can change. I suggested we go too councelling to fix the problems. She said no. If these were truly problems that she had had for years why didn't she bring them up before?

So two days ago I asked her if she was divorcing me so she would be free of responsibility. I mean our son would be graduating and out of the house soon enough. Was I only to be around so he could get a propper rearing and then be cast too the curb?

She sat with a saddened expressioned but her eyes revealed that which I had felt for weeks but was afraid to believe. In her silence I knew what I had just said was true. She stammered to voice a rejection but it was too late, the truth was revealed.

I am torn now between my love for her and my loathing for her actions. I love my stepson and only hope that I had made a difference in his life. I have decided that when the divorce is final and the house sold I will be moving away from here. I'm not sure where at the moment. I can barely stand to look at her right now, yet I yearn to share the rest of my life with her still.

Must be something wrong with me.

I will remain in contact with my stepson as he has done nothing in this. He is also angered at his mother, not understanding why she would divorce me. He doesn't know about the other part nor will I tell him. His relationship needs to be secure with his mother especially since his real father abondoned them 15 years ago.

I feel so used right now. Love, anger, frustration, sadness are the only emotions that seem to break the surface. It will take me a while to get over this and be able trust anyone again.

Gspotgirl 53F
101 posts
2/1/2006 10:46 pm

Hey, justsex:
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. For now, don't try to make any decisions, such as whether/where to move, OK? You need to let everything settle first. Just do whatever pleases you for a while -- if it were me, we'd be talking grocery store magazines & totally crappy candy -- small indulgences that help you feel better. I'm glad you could talk here. Do you have someone you can phone who will just listen? Of course, it will take you a while to get over this. Make sure to give yourself the time you need, OK? And good luck.

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