rm_justin22tn 34M
2 posts
11/26/2005 8:08 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


So I'm studying Algebra and Geometry for this test on Monday.

I've been studying for 7 hours a day, 4 days in a row now. In the course of this amazing scholarly endeavor, I thought up a profound theorum (that is math lingo for "turd-like-thing")

See, I don't really care for math. Whilst cramming giant gobfulls of geometry into my skull, I began to black out and have closed-eye hallucinations of pentagons chasing me for my organs. But then I passed beyond this point, and there was a deep sense of peace and total understanding. This is when I arrived at "Justin's Unifying Theorum of Everything Mathematical" (I named it after myself).

Stated simply, this theorum is as follows:
Math is a lie from Satan

Now as simple and obvious as this seems, it actually relies on an intricate and carefully-laid string of logical statements. I think this is called a proof. And here is my proof.

1. Satan is really bad, and he probably hates you.
(If you do not believe in Satan, please see my "Proof of Satan" below this theorum)

2. Satan is notorious for lying. For proof of this, please refer to the book of Genesis.
(If you do not agree with the book of Genesis, please see my "Proof for the Validity of Genesis" below my "Proof of Satan")

3. If Satan is a liar, then all lies are ultimately born of Satan.

4. Since all lies are ultimately born of Satan, then Satan must be a liar.

"3" and "4" have negated the need for any further proof that both Satan is a liar and that all lies are ultimately born of Satan. In Math, this is called a closed function.

5. Math is intrinsically an evil lie. This fact is self-evident, and needs no proof.

6. Therefore, all things Mathematical are {born of Satan, lies, lies from Satan}


Proof of Satan

1. If you choose not to believe in Satan, that's ok for the purpose of this proof. For this proof, we must assume that Satan really exists. This is called an assumption.

2. If I assume anything whatsoever for mathematical reasons, it MUST be true.

Mathematicians have been doing this very thing since the dawn of civilization. If fact, the reason we've been cursed with Math in the first place is that some poor fucker assumed that Math even exists! (this, of course, was because that individual was a puppet of Satan)

3. Therefore, Satan exists.


Proof for the absolute validity of the book of Genesis

1. Satan is liar.

2. Genesis tells us that Satan is a liar.

3. Thereforse, Genisis tells us the truth.

4. Nothing but a 100% literal interpretation of Genesis will ever come close to teaching us about the cosmology of our universe, the inner workings of the human psyche, or the correct application of the word "Thou"

With that said, I'm going to sleep now.

Br12976 42M

11/26/2005 9:01 pm

LOL. Just wait till you take Calculus, or better yet 4 semesters of Calculus. By then you'll think the teachers are Satan incarnate.

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