~~Growing Old~~  

rm_jiinxxss 58F
113 posts
5/17/2005 3:42 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

~~Growing Old~~

The other day a young person asked me
how I felt about being old. I was taken aback,
for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed,
but I explained that it was an interesting question,and I would ponder it, and let her know.
Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body -- the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, skin spots and bumps, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long. (I just don't have time) .

I would never trade my amazing friends, (new and
old) my wonderful life, my loving family, for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie or two or for not making my bed, (this one still bothers me, I have to do it!) or for buying that silly
cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my lanai. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again,
some of life is just as well forgotten -- and I eventually remember the important things.(those sticky notes sure do help). Sure,over the years my heart has been broken-how can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or when a beloved pet dies ? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never
broken is pristine & sterile and will never know
the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have
my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs
be forever etched into deep groove on my face. So
many have never laughed, and so many have died
before their hair could turn silver.

I can say no, and mean it. I can say yes and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong - and I often am.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert every single day...maybe twice!
~~Author unknown~~ (but if I were more creative, it could have been me ! )

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