Deal Breakers??  

rm_jdguy99 49M
1 posts
4/16/2005 11:11 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Deal Breakers??

How many of you have met someone who seems so wonderful, so completely connected to you, but there is that one thing that could ruin it all for you.
It could be as simple as they wear glasses, they are too big , too thin, they are divorced and you dont want to deal with a crazy ex, or they have kids or maybe dont want kids. How big of an issue are these really. There are those that say if the connection is strong enough, these issues shouldn't matter, hold onto them, and others that say if it bothers you now it always will so end it now. But which is the right way to go? And yes I recognize that there is a huge difference between issues of looks, kids, previous marriages etc. But these are all issues that will be important to somebody ( except maybe glasess lol). The point is knowing what to do when confronted with a potential deal breaker. It can be so hard to sort out. Do I date her,even though she has kids. What if I dont like kids, what if her kids hate me. She is a little overweight, but otherwise perfect. Another question is do I deal with this now, or see if it the relationship goes anyway before I cross that bridge. These are types of questions we have to face, more so in the modern day of increasing divorce rates, dating with kids and dating at not quite so young ages anymore.
And if someone is deciding it is a deal breaker, how much effort do we put into trying to keep things going. Do we go quietly into that good night, or do we take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them. Do we love someone and set them free in hopes of them returning?
I guess in the end it all comes down to letting that person know how you truly feel about them, be homest and upfront. This is true for everyone. Talk about your deal breakers. If you dont , you may end up in a situation that feels worse for you. If it is the other persons deal breaker, make sure they know how you feel about them, dont hold back. Then at least they will have all the information they need. If you dont tell them how important they have become to you, and how much you want them in your life and they walk away, there will always be a part of you that will regret what may have been if you had told them how you feel. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I think that maybe this is true for both side of a deal breaker.
I set you free, fervently hoping you come back.

LustGoddess2469 51F  
2453 posts
4/16/2005 8:41 pm

It sounds great in theory, but most of the men on here don't like to hear about feelings one has for them - they tend to run away with their tails between their legs, or they put up the wall and you never hear from them again.

Example - you have a wonderful time with someone, the next day you send them a thank you and tell them that you enjoyed your time together and hope that you can do it again sometime. There are three possible responses that you'll receive: 1. "You're rushing things, I'm not looking for a relationship right now"; 2. "Yes, I enjoyed it as well and would love to see you again sometime"; and 3. No response at all.

So guys, if you get an email from a woman that you met, it's not because she is stalking you or wants to get married next week. She is just being polite and courteous and COMMUNICATING with you.

Just my two cents.


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