Deconstructing Love And Lust  

rm_jasmine_girl 39F
195 posts
4/25/2006 3:28 pm

Last Read:
5/15/2006 7:31 am

Deconstructing Love And Lust

Mood: It is 5 o'clock in the morning and I am experiencing pre-menstrual anguish ...

Love, which is quickly kindled in a gentle heart, seized this one for the fair form that was taken from me - and the way of it afflicts me still.

Love, which absolves no loved one from loving, seized me so strongly with delight in him, that, as you see, it does not leave me even now.

Love brought us to one death.

Francesa's speech in Dante's Inferno, Canto V. The painting on the left is Rossetti's Paolo and Francesca da Rimini (1855), which was inspired by the famous Canto.

A few of my girlfriends have decided to turn their profiles off after reading what I wrote in Weight Or Lightness. We need some time to think about how we can achieve a balance between weight and lightness, love and lust, or the questions raised by Hottie#1 in Principles of Lust.

I never like dichotomies because ideology wants us to accept that ONE has got to be superior than THE OTHER. I have watched Fatal Attraction three times and I know LOL - lust is shortlived, naive, dangerous, unstable, destructive, dark and dungeony, sinful, monstrous, shapeless, out of control, possessive, obsessive, selfish, guilty, not worth it and "I told you so!" ... The list goes on and on. We are taught that lust is THE derogatory OTHER.

In the end, it's the wife who pulls the trigger, not Michael Douglas. She is the feminist warrior-cum-horror. The man wants both without complications. We all want both without complications - the pleasure beyond principles, in Freudian sense.

Fast forward 20 years' time and we are still equally harsh on the lustful subjects.

I grow up learning that a "loving" relationship is a common (play)ground is commonplace, compromising and complacent. Something that's good can be equally bad for you. Even putting your partner's needs ahead of yours can be a selfish act because you are assuming that you know what your partner wants, and that you but no one else can make him or her happy.

If lust is "all that", love should be too. And if love is "all that", lust is even more precisely because it is shortlived, naive, dangerous, unstable, destructive, dark and dungeony, sinful, monstrous, shapeless, out of control, possessive, obsessive, selfish, guilty, not worth it and "I told you so!" ...

rm_poleforlick 52M

4/25/2006 7:27 pm

The fickleness of lust is frustrating. It's attention span is so short but so intense.

The lust I feel when I see a picture of your ass, or another's chest manifests itself into words here or on my blog.

I don't act on my lust, except for in fantasy.

My wife an I lust after each other only when the release of alcohol makes us feel weightless, both of us.

Unfortunately we sober up and feel the weight of each other.

rm_teacherant 43M
28 posts
4/25/2006 7:35 pm

Hey Jasmine,

I believe I can understand, I mean really try to understand what your contemplating here. But in my view, love and lust are not opposing forces, but rather on the same side of the same coin.

Unfortunately, humans are selfish beings. We require it for survival at the very baseness of our being. This easily transfers into our sexual lives, relationships and even desires and dreams.

The best way to counteract the guilt/confusion/anger/disappointment/satisfaction (etc. etc. all of the emotions involved here) is to just try and realize that we are extremely lucky. I mean supremely lucky, to even be here, be aware, be able to consider and evaluate the bigger pictures in life.

It's a unique and powerful position to be in. This type of feeling and the perspective it gives hopefully will allow us to move beyond agonizing over what is right or wrong, but instead focus on enjoyment of ALL things, naughty or not, pleasureable or painful...



rm_teacherant 43M
28 posts
4/26/2006 7:46 pm

I actually think lust is something which does have a longer lasting impact than many of believe on the surface of things.

The initial force of lust may subside, but there is definitely a footprint of it which remains for quite a long time. The wandering mind often (i could almost say always) falls back into the memory and even the physical experience of the lustful relationship which may have long gone.

The other thing which I actually will open up as a question here is whether or not Lust may have a more powerful effect than Love (both in initial effect and long term)?

Of course this is an opinionated debate, but I am still interested to see where you all may stand on the subject.


rm_poleforlick 52M

4/28/2006 3:14 pm


I am not discrediting the third party's love. Not at all. I'm talking about the initial attraction lust, the it's good because it's bad lust.

If you are involved with someone sexually, third party included, love is now in the picture, it has to be counted.

Fatal attraction.

I think I'm going to blog on the topic...thanks!

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