What is the correct protocol for buying drinks at a first meeting?  

rm_iwannatellu 46F
849 posts
6/20/2006 2:24 pm

Last Read:
7/7/2006 3:34 pm

What is the correct protocol for buying drinks at a first meeting?

I jsut got back from a first meeting, (If he ever speaks to me again I will let you know what I thought, although I will was so shy and nervous I suspect he thought I was not into the meeting...), and on the way home I realised that I did not offer to pay for my drinks, or even a round at any stage. Nor for the snacks we ate.

Surely this is very bad manners, not to mention some breach of protocol?

What should I have done? I have put some options here as a poll, but please feel free to post free comments as well.

Thanks...
I should have offered to buy a round of drinks...
I should have offered to pay for the snacks...
I should have offered to pay for half of the bill...
I should not worry, he would have asked if he wanted you to pay...
It's okay, at a first meeting, it is usual for the man to but the drinks...
You silly woman, at a first meeting, it is usual for the woman to buy the drinks...
Don't worry, it depends on the situation, and it was probably OK...
Next time, you can buy the drinks...
You suck - he will never want to see you again...
Ha ha - you worry too much...


VCF1962 106F

6/20/2006 3:19 pm

I say if HE asks you out, then he pays. If you meet up again, get some drinks in and maybe ask him either for dinner at your place or take him out.

I like to reciprocate in some way but a lot of the time, they lie and never bother to call again so I gave up worrying about it a long time ago.

If the guy wants to take you somewhere to impress you, then the bill is all his !!!

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!


i_am_assman 53M

6/20/2006 3:28 pm

i am curious to know, how many drinks did you have? As this could influence my answer.


ThickDick2323 107M

6/20/2006 7:35 pm

I usually pay until it comes up in converstion. Sometimes that's the 1st date - sometimes not. Oh yeah; and I don't bring it up.

If she offers then I accept. I've always thought is was like opening doors, or offering your coat. A little chivallry is okay. It's sooo circumstantial, though, it's hard to say.

Now; if we've been out a few times and she/we decide to go somewhere I can't afford at the time, then I'll bring it up. Typically after a few dates you can tell where it's going and it all plays out naturally.


buddhamike 107M
7006 posts
6/21/2006 11:57 am

Once upon a time it was a given that the guy would buy everything on the first meeting. While we now live in a time of supposed "gender equality", I suspect that most men understand that the average woman does not want to be equal enough to do part of the paying on the first meeting.


rm_2needy4 44F
38 posts
6/22/2006 6:31 am

I have no problem paying for my own drink as a drink does not = instant sex. Cum now no one is that cheap


rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
6/22/2006 10:58 am

    Quoting VCF1962:
    I say if HE asks you out, then he pays. If you meet up again, get some drinks in and maybe ask him either for dinner at your place or take him out.

    I like to reciprocate in some way but a lot of the time, they lie and never bother to call again so I gave up worrying about it a long time ago.

    If the guy wants to take you somewhere to impress you, then the bill is all his !!!
Thanks - this is helpful. Let's hope he did want to impress me


rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
6/22/2006 11:03 am

    Quoting i_am_assman:
    i am curious to know, how many drinks did you have? As this could influence my answer.
I had one drink, and we shared one basket of bar snacks - not over the top.

Not over the top at all.


rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
6/22/2006 11:08 am

    Quoting DustyWidget:
    He was probably in such awe of your beauty he neither noticed nor cared dear!
Thanks Dusty


rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
6/22/2006 11:16 am

    Quoting ThickDick2323:
    I usually pay until it comes up in converstion. Sometimes that's the 1st date - sometimes not. Oh yeah; and I don't bring it up.

    If she offers then I accept. I've always thought is was like opening doors, or offering your coat. A little chivallry is okay. It's sooo circumstantial, though, it's hard to say.

    Now; if we've been out a few times and she/we decide to go somewhere I can't afford at the time, then I'll bring it up. Typically after a few dates you can tell where it's going and it all plays out naturally.
Wow, didn't think there were any true gentlemen (in the old-fashioned sense of the word) left.

I don't get many doors held for me anymore, and when it happens I am so taken-aback that I usually don't realise what is happening. LOL

I agree with your reasoning, and appreciate your feedback. Thanks.

Thaks for holding a figurative door open for me.

Iwanna


i_am_assman 53M

6/22/2006 2:49 pm

you did nothing wrong. now if you had 14 drinks then we would have to talk...lol


DIVISION77 40M
8337 posts
6/24/2006 2:46 pm

I don't do drinks on a first date.....usually it's dinner and I do pay.

Then again, I don't ask random women out, only those I have invested the time and energy to get to know first.

In other words, if I wasn't sure if I liked her as a person, I wouldn't ask her out anyway.

By that time the notion of drinks is pointless.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
6/25/2006 5:16 am

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    I don't do drinks on a first date.....usually it's dinner and I do pay.

    Then again, I don't ask random women out, only those I have invested the time and energy to get to know first.

    In other words, if I wasn't sure if I liked her as a person, I wouldn't ask her out anyway.

    By that time the notion of drinks is pointless.

    DIV
Hey DIV

Thanks for the input.

BTW - you write really well. I have spent some time reading your blog. I particularly like your stories... Mmmmmm


vlybyu 57M

6/25/2006 6:20 am

And I also do battle with the "new age" ladies . To me it is the privilege of the male to pay for drinks/ snacks/supper or an evening out. I do not expect to get more than good company and an enjoyable time from it.
Opening doors and stepping back for a lady to pass by, is for me a way of live. However it also requires the lady to stick to common decency and the same set of rules. Responding with a thank you and a smile is not that time consuming.. Unfortunately most girls today think you are the Doorman and it is your daytime job ,or worse .


Lovin_U_4_Fun 55F

6/25/2006 2:08 pm

When I finally have a date, I'll offer to go dutch. But, I'll make that clear whne we select the place. If he offers to buy, I would appreciate and accept the offer and if all goes well, assume I'll have an opportunity to reciprocate.

It sounds as though you are excited about the possibilities with this guy, so.. I hope it goes well for you!


ilsuconu 57M

6/25/2006 2:22 pm

Relax! The best plan is to

Never Have a Plan!


Become a member to create a blog