The Teflon Vest  

rm_hotmamaNcols 41F
460 posts
4/8/2006 5:52 pm

Last Read:
4/12/2006 9:03 pm

The Teflon Vest

I have grown tired of only getting phone calls from Mr. E when he is in need. I understand his busy schedule. I am at terms with the complexities of his life. And I ultimately agreed to the terms of this arrangement. I am terribly smitten with this one when I am in his presence, but the void I feel is hard to ignore.

A couple of weeks ago, when asked by iluv2eatpussy94 I summed up my feelings to "just needing more conversation or attention", and as I reflect, I know I was full of shit when I said that. It is something much more. Although I enjoy Mr. E's company, I am in serious need of much more intangibles that he can offer.

Am I looking to be "in love"? Of course not. I merely want enough commonalities and quality time to foster it, should it grow to be a relationship. I want to feel again.

The Teflon Vest
Yes, I wear one. I shield my chest. Always. Nothing can penetrate unless I take it off. It has evolved into my second skin. It has allowed me to view things objectively and logically, without the irrational side effects of emotions.

On occasion, I have daringly undone a strap or two, and revelcroed just as quickly. Is it impossible to remove? Now, I am wondering whether it is impeding me from having a viable relationship, and whether it is slowly suffocating my capacity to feel.

SlowPlayin 52M

4/9/2006 1:49 am

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with keeping it simple as long as there aren't double standards in the relationship. As far as the teflon vest goes ... for some reason I'm much more comfortable around people in general who are somewhat guarded. I think trust should be painstaking until it's been thoroughly tested.

At times I wonder the same thing because I haven't been in a serious relationship for a few years ... like, will I recognize when being logically guarded keeps a potential relationship from becoming viable and strong ... maybe even "the one"... and be able to change? So you're saying that those teflon vests come with velcro, huh?

Is there such a thing as being "sincerely" guarded as opposed to "insincerely" guarded and would anyone recognize the difference?

Hmmmm ... it's late ... did that maked sense?


rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 4/9/2006 9:51 am:
In my opinion, being "sincerely" guarded, means it comes naturally, without thinking about it, sort of like breathing. That is where I'm at. Being "insincerely" guarded, is an act in the effort to manipulate. Yes, that made sense.
I've been in long term (1+ years) relationships, but could never define it as being "serious". Does that make sense?


4/10/2006 10:14 am

I see you have thought about Mr. E and your relationship with him a little more since we spoke. When you were talking about him I could see in your eyes that you were not comfortable with it. Of course, that was when I wasn't looking at your sexy mouth.

But, after all is said and done I am glad to see that you have "moved on" with it. It seems to me you know what you want and now it seems as if you have thought this one thru.

Looking forward to that next drink.

Oh yea, leave the vest at home....

rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 4/10/2006 10:41 am:
I find that the more we interact, the more I like you. Let's have that drink soon. Call me.

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