Cold Rain.......Tears.......  

rm_gorilla062 50M
163 posts
4/25/2006 10:00 am

Last Read:
4/27/2006 5:56 am

Cold Rain.......Tears.......

Staring out the windows at the cold rain falling...thinking of you; wondering if I should call.
Never thought I would feel this pain again, have always been great at turning the page to the next chapter in my life. Maybe with age I am getting a little more heart.
Cold rain falls on the window sill like the tears I cried when you left...pain surfaces as a lump in my throat... why.... why did you leave. Why did you get so mean to me and place our child between us.
Almost 11 years have past and yet I think of her every day... wondering what she is like now. she was so young then and so small. How smart is she athletic.. will I ever get to explain my side of the story.
You ran from me and all the things you said you hated... taking my daughter from me as well; never have I hated someone that I would hurt them and scar them like that.
I wonder daily what lies you tell her about me... does she even know I am alive. You probably told her I am dead... to you I am but for her I will always live... I will send my soul to her hoping she can be open about what happened to her daddy!
I keep telling myself that my day will come ... that my story will be told and that my child will have an opportunity to judge judged me...wrongly... all that you hate is not within me ... it is within you. I hope you can love yourself if not you will go to your grave knowing the pain you caused not only to me... but to your ... to our daughter! She is truly the onesuffering in all of this. The selfish satisfaction you get from torturing me may just create a cancer within her... one that will transform from her not knowing and maybe hating me... to the truth of how your lies opened a wound to let that cancer breed... then it will turn, it will turn into a hatred for the things you have done, the lies you havetold.
I will do my best to teach her forgiveness then...and pray that your soul is not lost in the hatred that you planted the seeds of.
I have foregiven you and myself, look into yourself to ease your pain, forgive yourself or you one day will stare out the window at the cold rain falling on the window sill....imitating your tears.

SweetandsexyX69 54M/58F

4/26/2006 8:04 am

We all have sides that hide pain and suffering from our monsters in the closet. May you find peace with your monster and know you have a network of friends out here that want you to have happy, fun times.

Become a member to create a blog