The Single Guy and Swinging  

rm_goddessriki 44G
4 posts
5/17/2006 1:14 am
The Single Guy and Swinging

The Single Guy and Swinging

Ah, the single male. In the vanilla world those two words sound like poetry to the single female. If he's a doctor, it will thrill all the spots. If he's basically breathing, it's nirvana for "women of a certain age." Discovering a single male is the goal if some girls cruising the Internet looking for dates, a husband or even a one night stand. But when it comes to swing parties, "single male" suddenly sounds like a curse. So what can a guy do about this?

Please don’t become slobbering, blathering, bumbling idiots when you suddenly find yourself at a sex party. Some guys don’t even have to see naked babes with spread legs, their willpower and composure to evaporate. Their jaws hang open, sweat springs from their brow, and their hands move involuntarily to their genitals, where they often remain all evening, stroking mindlessly like a monkey in a cage.

Don’t hang in doorways and hover. The worst thing to be a witness to is that sweating single guy inching unwelcomed closer and closer to the action until they're practically part of the action, with their wank-weary erections perilously close to, like, my ear or some other inappropriate body part. It is so pathetic when he becomes a mumblers, unable to carry on a civil conversation, his eyes darting to the dude getting his dick sucked and then to the couple at it in the corner doggy style and the dart back to the cock sucking and no doubt wishing it was him instead. And who can blame him?

Guys you are given the rules, explain the etiquette and warned that anything other than exemplary behaviour will be met with a boot in the ass-right out the door. If you reassure and promise to maintain, don’t lose it as soon as someone starts getting screwed.

I love single guys at my parties but, almost every swing, play or sex event basically bans the evil "single male." Cause no matter how vehemently you disabuse him of the notion, the single male still believes-if not in his heart, then definitely in his loins-that he's gonna get lucky. He's gonna get a shag. He's gonna find himself on the bottom of a pile of writhing naked bodies or between two hot young buxom blondes. He's gonna wind up the unwitting participant in a wild daisy chain, having the best sex of his life. The only problem is that the chances of that actually happening are, well, is low but it is not impossible.

It's partly a question of numbers. Even if there are more single women than men, those women will be integrated into someone else's sex scene far more easily. But mostly it's a situation about behaviour. The exact behaviour I'm talkin' about here. So thus, the dreaded "No single or unescorted males allowed."

The ban sometimes results in the single male's engaging the services of a professional. If you can only get in with a date and you don't have a date, well, why not buy a date? Better yet, you're buying a date that, by definition, is guaranteed to put out.

Unfortunately, this not only goes against the spirit of the rule, it completely obliterates the reason for coming as a couple: hooking up with another swingin' couple and possibly creating a relationship for future hook ups. Bob and Carol got it on with Ted and Alice. If it had been Bob and Carol and Ted and his hooker, things probably wouldn't have been as successful.

So what's a single guy to do? Don’t bring a blind date. Imagine if you tell her you're going to a cocktail party and act all shocked and surprised when-gasp!-people start shedding their clothes. Chances are you'll never see her again, and you would have put the party host and here guest with the risk of being hounded by the police if the girl reports you for attempted .

Or you can bring a close female friend. Promise you'll take her to the new “Take That” reunion concert if she'll just be your "in" for the swing party. But she'd have to be a pretty damn close friend. This is known as a “Party Ticket” These are frowned upon big time and will get you banned from that party and maybe even others as the word spreads. The saddest thing is seeing a girls sitting at the bar looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights while her ‘friend’ is wondering around.

If you are attending a genuine swingers party who allows in single guy there must be some type of vetting procedure. Single guys enquiries are 20 times more than couples and 50 times single girls. A genuine well-hosted event will not let in every TOM, DICK or HARRY. If how ever you are just looking for just pussy there are organized gangbangs which have 3-4 escorts who are paid to entertain and in this case the host will pile in the single guys. Of course in both cases there will be a charge, if your host in either case is working hard to get the balance then if there are less guys there has to be a higher cost and if there are additional expenses for gang bang girls there is going to be more overheads.

My advice is to wait it out and find yourself a woman who won't mind experimenting with you. Go no line be sensible with your ads be truthful, say you are looking for a Party Partner. Finding a party friend will not happen over night and being crude in your ad wont work. Be willing to travel offer to pick up and drop of you new party friend. I am fed up with guys who expect me to meet them outside some obscure station when I am in fetish/swinger fantasy gear. I need to be picked up at my door or given taxi fare. If you want this experience to be repeated do not wonder away from your party friend. When other couples are scouting for potential couple partners they look for signs of intimacy and at least friendship. Look at least a little interested in your new party friend, make sure she has a drinks, offer her compliments in front of the other couples and find out a little about your new party friend so that they can be used in conversation. One thing that stand out like a sore thumb are single guys that want some thing for nothing they don’t want to pay the entrance fee for a single guys, and if they want a party friend they don’t want to fork out to show a girl a good time.

So if it only that you want to do is wank anyway, I say stay home and watch a blue movie!

Become a member to create a blog