Tete - A - Tete with...............Bigfoot.  

rm_gigolo394 51M
88 posts
3/22/2006 4:05 am

Last Read:
3/23/2006 6:00 am

Tete - A - Tete with...............Bigfoot.

It was difficult, to say the least, but I managed to track down the elusive Bigfoot for this revealing interview.

Q :First of all, thank you for granting me the interview.

A :You're welcome.We thought it was about time.

Q :How much time?

A h, 100,000 years or so.Just after that very bad Ice Age most of us froze to death, but some of us survived.We've been playing hide - and - seek with you people ever since.

Q :"We"? I take it there's more than one of you?

A h, for fuck sake.You don't supposed I am personally 100,000 years old, do you?I don't look that bad.

No, there's about 10,000 of us in all at that moment.We knew we didn't belong and wouldn't be wanted after the Pleistocene.So as the ice retreated and you little fellers started crawling out to infest the place, we followed the ice and fanned out over Asia and North America, hiding in the forests.

Q :You didn't want to stick together?

A :You wouldn't either, if you smelled like us.No,we prefer lots of space with good ventilation.

Q ndeed.So why have you waited until now to make yourself known here in Malaysia?

A :Because you're finally become irritating enough.Just kidding, you're always been irritating.But let me set the record straight.We have indeed made ourselves known to you, many times.We didn't mean to, though we were just having a bit of fan scaring the pants off you every now and then.

Q :What do you eat?

A :Same stuff you would if you lived where we live.Bananas and snakes!

Q :Humans?

A :Never! They're poisonous.

Q :How come no one's ever found your,um,Waste?

A xcuse me!I thought this was a serious interview.Puh - leeze.Hygiene,my boy.We do it in the rivers, of course.You bathe in them.Your water stinks?Sue us.

Q :What about your skeletons and such?Where do you bury your dead?

A :Landfills.And a couple of oil palm estate in Malaysia.Any further questions?

Q erhaps you could tell us your plans for the future?

A :Well, let see.Maybe a college degree.Push for a seat in the UN.Just kidding.You think King Kong inspired us?It was the other way around, baby.You wouldn't want to see me climb your petronas towers and take out a couple of your sukhois.Messy.

Ahh, that was such a very long and boring interview I've ever made.

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