Another weekend  

rm_gbe1964 54M
4 posts
5/12/2006 11:52 pm
Another weekend

Well, here we go again, my own hell of having to be in this (mostly) empty house for two days, pacing around and trying to figure out what's happened to me. I'm still in the crying stage, something will remind me of something and I'm like a little girl with a skinned knee.
I give annually a pretty big chunk of change to the March of Dimes and it's that time of year, so last week I wrote a check. It's a big affair where I work, we have walking teams..I don't walk I just give money, does that make me a bad person? Anyhow, they had a little assembly kind of thing and dragged me up front to thank me etc... and on cue I started bawling in front of everyone. A few people know why, I guess the rest just thought I was so happy to give away $5K that I was having tears of joy.
I have gotten quite a few people invite me to church, coffee etc...which is sweet. I'm not at all religious but I may go, can't hurt. Gets me out of this tomb for a few hours, anyhow.
Funny, one of Lori's things was I don't have nay friends, I live to cloistered a life. WEll, I never thought so myself, I have a lot of friends at work, we're friends there and then we go home. SOme of them go to bars after work, but not being a drinker, I don't. I come home to my wife, is that WRONG? So anyhow, in the last weeks I've gotten about 20 scraps of paper, cards etc wiuth phone numbers on them, just call if you need anything, even just someone to talk to...I guess I had a lot more friends that I was given credit for. That's good. Right now I need some people to tell me I'm a ggod human being, cause I always thought I was and tried to be and this whole thing has shaken that.

This brings us back to conmpanionship.
Hey girls! I need a woman, badly. I am a perfect gentleman, know how tro hold th door for you, pull out your seat and pamper you like a princess. And I'm not expecting that to be the price of admission into you intimate apparell,that's just good manners. Read the below posts about respect, I live it because for what I'm looking for, it works. We may have wild monkey tantric sex 5 minutes in the car, there things happen, but a soilid place to start is opening the doors, offereing you her hand at the curb and talking without you mouth full. These are skills I have. I soposse I'm a decent lover if your into that sort of thing (and ewventually I will be into that sort of thing, but for now someonme not embarrassed to hold my hands in the mall is doing very well. Just a decent caring human, looking for someone and willing to watch a bad movie on someone's couch to at least prove this ine ie's worth anymore effort. This ladies, is peck on the cheek time. Give thme a little peck on the cheek, tell them you had a nice tine and get awayt with a prck on the cheek (the don't hurt, go ahead and smootch him, for the team) and run, not walk to you door, car, bunker, wherever you stay to compos the "I havce my eye on someone else" e-mail to him.
There are no gaurentees,but hardly any serious caussulties, take a snack for the team, I say
The may be wdweeby, fact, didfigured have h
air lije Yahoo Serious, whatever, these are human beings and they are missing something in there lives that have gottenso deperate for ourselves we looking for it here, on the internet So next time you want to bounce an auto reply back to the guy who I will admitt is playing way out of his field, please do the conpassionate thing and write two genuine sentences that tell the guy you're not interest and encourage him to keeo in trying. It just takes a second and you'll be a better person doing it, promise

Every day I deal with guilt that my brother didn't make in on a scale I Did (Me Ivy Leugue. public shcool, overseas fellowship, german program,and Xavier Univesirtry, he dropped out of vocation school and that is working out as stititically does for HS drop outs, So I give him jobs arounf her to make a little money
My divorced and raisng two teenagers on her own, has to be tight,So I give there where I can without makeing her f=ell bad about it. NA my older sister, who does akay I guess, wonderful home and seem to have a wonderfull situation, more power to trhm. Decided this a very good reason to knw kill myself. The accountants say it all worth about $7M USD, and to see her get it all and my family get sqat appalls me. That need to be changed, obviously

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