Taking control of my life  

rm_funinic 50M
562 posts
4/30/2006 7:37 pm

Last Read:
5/2/2006 7:31 pm

Taking control of my life


I've been a leaf on the wind for too long. I've hit the ground several times, only to be picked up and tossed around again.

No more.

I have my problems, but I'm not the only one. The blowup last weekend with the folks finally cut me loose from the last vestiges of my delusions about family and relationships. I held their marriage, my upbringing, as an example of a successful relationship.

Bullshit.

Ever had to tell your parents, to their faces, that their behavior led directly to a major problem in your life? That it wasn't just your own opinion?

So now I get to go apartment-hunting, because (X)WifeV2.0 has been focusing on learning "what she wants out of life" while I've been trying to recover our marriage. Another example of two people having two different conversations, completely missing each other in the process.

Looks like my fears, first voiced in the first week of this and hiding in the background since, are well founded. She wants to be single.

In the process, I've laid myself bare, prostrated myself to try to recover something that was lost months ago, if not longer. In the mistaken hope that there was a chance of recovery.

There's not going to be a fight, we'll settle amicably. I'm just not going to roll over any more.

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
4/30/2006 10:35 pm

Well, funinic.....even though these are all pretty big life changes....hopefully they will be for the best in the end. There is a chance of recovery! And you will survive! I have faith in you.


gypsy1629 42F

4/30/2006 11:24 pm

Funinic...please hang in there friend...maybe we can ride this storm out together thru our blogs...I know writing of my situation sure has helped me out more than I ever thought it would...in these pages where one shares there is love and compassion...with little or no judging by others...you gotta love that idea...hang in there hun....

side by side my warm hand caressing the worries from your tense body...small kisses to ease the ache.

gypsy


runzwithknives 61F

5/1/2006 4:38 pm

You're singing my song from six months ago. Know that probably doesn't make you feel any better, but I can empathize. It's difficult at best. Just don't let all the anger and frustration carry you thru the next few months. It's so ok to feel that hurt and think that helped me the most in accepting, healing and moving on. Remember to take care of you.

Hugs
Rosa


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