I've been thinking about this whole sleeping around thing  

rm_frnd4funTT 42M
15 posts
8/1/2005 7:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I've been thinking about this whole sleeping around thing

I was reading a blog by 74ShovelHD, but since he appears to have abandoned ship, I thought I'd start a new entry in mine. He talks about monogamy, about married AdultFriendFinder members that are not looking to add to their sex life with their partner, but get something on the side.

I've been messing around on the side off and on since my wife and I got married. I love her, I love the life we lead together, the time we spend, the vacations, all that kind of stuff. But in bed, we've never been very compatible. Her idea of a sexy night is leaving the bathroom light on so that we can avoid tripping on each other. She likes to undress herself, I go down on her for a bit (even that stopped after we had our first kid) and then we have some missionary fun. It's not exactly a dream come true.

So, I have these thoughts. I think...
"Why bother looking for someone else. If you would just commit to your wife, spend the time to romance her, encourage her, you might get something. Plus, then you wouldn't be worried about her finding out, or someone from work finding out, or whatever"

But that's the problem. I put in that time, I pressed her on it, I worked on the romance, the excitement side. But now I'm tired. My ego can't handle the rejection. So I don't even put in the effort. I get more out of my flirtation with [blog xx_44DD_xx] than I have gotten from my wife in YEARS. And xx_44DD_xx and I haven't met in person yet (hopefully soon!).

So, you tell me... is it wrong? I know that technically I'm being unfaithful. But, look at the alternative. I could divorce my wife, split custody of my beautiful daughters with her. She'd keep the house, the stuff, and 90% of my daughters time. I'd get some weekends and my freedom, but that's a pretty price to pay.

If we couldn't be in the same room with one another, that'd be fine. I'd do it, I don't want my daughters to grow up remembering us screaming at each other. But, if we stay good friends, enjoy our family and each other, and have a good life, where is the problem?

So... there you have it. Me and xx_44DD_xx were chatting about this topic, and we decided that we're looking for monogamous infidelity. I'd love to have a sexy, passionate affair with a woman for the next year, five years, even longer. I want to have the trust, the caring, the enjoyment that comes from a long term relationship. If my wife won't provide it, then I'll find it somewhere else. I just need that passion. If I don't find it, I feel like I'm letting a little piece of me die. I've looked for ways to get around it. Hobbies, travel, work, but none of that replaces it. I just need to feel that connection, that emotion that a sexual relationship can bring.

Let me know what you think. If I'm way off base, let me know. I don't have all the answers, but I'm willing to listen to what people have to say.


xx_44DD_xx 52F

8/2/2005 5:45 am

C'mere you!

What an eloquent writer you are....... quite a gift with words.

(((TT))) Thank you for making my morning!!

Become a member to create a blog