rm_foxxychica 45F
188 posts
7/23/2005 10:13 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


I feel like I am drowning most of the time now. I need someone to throw me a lifeline, need to cling to someone I can trust, someone who would truly care for me, love me and protect me in these dark moments.

In a moment of weakness I went to see him a few days ago. I just needed to see someone whom I feel is truly on my side. There we sat in his office, chatting about anything and everything but the thing that is 'killing' me slowly. Then, without reason I just broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably and he came to my side... held me tight without saying a word.

In that split second I felt... 'alive'... after feeling dead inside for the past 2 weeks or so. I felt so guilty for feeling that way. I couldn't help myself, wanted.. needed.. to prolong the moment for as long as I could. Looking up at his handsome, calm face... I couldn't resist but to reach up and kiss him. What ensued was in turns torrid and tender... sensuous and wild... passionate and loving. The image of me bent over his desk, trying hard to keep from screaming is forever burnt on my mind now. I will never forget the way he made every nerve-ending in me tingle with pure ecstasy. I still felt the 'aftershocks' of our lovemaking ripple through my body as I walked out his office. I feel so bad... but I felt so... alive and a myriad other feelings I haven't felt in a long time being with him that afternoon. Was I using him?

I am not a good person. I am bad. I don't like myself.

EdgeofdesireM 48M

7/25/2005 9:09 am


*extends hand out into the swirling seas of your present despair in hopes of having your hand grasp hold*

Who has not in a moment of emotional whirlwind, found themselves falling into an intimate escapade that perhaps hindsight might later question as the proper action? I for one cannot cast the stone.

But did you use him? To answer that question, what pretense did you falsely make to obtain the nourishment that your starving soul apparently needed? How did you mislead him? What did you falsely promise him to get the reaction? How sure are you that he did not simply use you in return (and if each are using each the use really negative)? I know nothing of your situation. I know nothing of your relation with him. But I do see a situation of man with a woman in dire straights that lead to a torrid and tender episode. One could certainly question who took advantage of who no?

For what it is worth, I see nothing which tells me that you are a bad person. To the contrary, knowing the glimpses of you given in your prior posts, I must disagree with that conclusion wholeheartedly.

*offers a towel and sets the vessel for warmer climates*

rm_foxxychica 45F
60 posts
7/27/2005 2:47 am

Edge: You say the RIGHTEST (is there even such a word?) things at the RIGHTEST times. I always look forward to wot you have to say to the inane drivel that I post here.

No, I didn't make any false promises to him. So.. yeah.. perhaps we WERE using each other but I don't think it was in any way 'negative'. It was a beautiful encounter and I shall remember it as that.

EdgeofdesireM 48M

8/3/2005 4:53 pm

Foxxy - Oh we will not allow a question of grammer to get in the way of expressing sentiments that even under the best usage of verbage still do not fully encapsulate the emotions attempting to be expressed right? But I will refuse to accept the proposition from you that your blogs are drivel. I would know since my blogs are just rambles.

I am glad to see that in the few days aftermath that you are looking at the experience as a vibrant memory to be forever cherished. That is how it should be.

So, may I assume you are now in the liferaft, dried off, with towel wrapt around you? If so, can I borrow that towel for a moment *LOL*

rm_foxxychica 45F
60 posts
8/9/2005 1:41 am

*passes towel to Edge with a wicked wink*

EdgeofdesireM 48M

8/15/2005 10:12 am

*returns wikked wink as towel is taken*
Now that you have dried, lets focus on chasing the chill from your bones.

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