Married guy looking for couple  

rm_dm3some1 46M
3 posts
4/13/2005 2:52 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Married guy looking for couple

I'm a 33 year old married guy looking for couples to fullfill my fantasy of having a threesome. I love my wife very much and love my life with her. I have talked to my wife about the swinging scene but she is not into it so I'm going out on my own. I've been on the system a couple of months now, and I've talked to some nice people and seen some really attractive people that I have have been interested in getting together with. I've sent messages to many couples with what I am looking for, what I like and what I don't like as well as descriptions of myself and my nature. I've sent several pictures along with the messages including face shots as some people request that in their ads. There are times when I don't get any replies back. Rude but not surprising as this is the internet. There are times when I get:
a)Thanks but no thanks.
b)Thanks but we are looking for someone our own age.
c)Sorry, not interested. Good luck to you.
Again, not surprising and I always send a message back saying no problem and thank them for the reply. The responses I don't understand are:
a)sorry not without your wife
b)sorry, no married guys
Most of these responses come from ads where couples state they are looking for ", women, couples...". If they just want couples or if male/female/female is their fantasy then they should say so in their ad and I will not send a message. I also have a hard time understanding why married couples won't get together with married guys but have no problem with married women joining them and in some cases single men. I could lie and say I'm single but I wanted to be myself when I joined this site and didn't want to complicate things by lieing to people who I want to be interested in me. Also, I thought married guys would have a lot more going for them than single guys such as:
a)They have lots of regular sex which means they are probablly better in bed
b)They have only slept with one person as of late(I know I have)so are for sure safer than most single guys.
c)They need to be discrete, as most couples need to be as well. Single guys have nothing to lose by telling people about their exploits.

I have seen ads where couples have said they don't want married guys who are just looking to cheat on their spouses. If I just wanted to have meaningless sex with a woman there are easier places for me to cheat on my wife than a website, like a bar, work, or whatever. I, am looking to see my fantasy come true of having a safe, discrete, pleasurable threesome with an attractive, mature, level headed couple who are looking for the same.

I can't be the only one having this problem, so if there is anyone out there with any ideas to help me let's hear it. Thanks and good luck gang.

mnfun952 103M

4/13/2005 3:53 pm

OK, there are a couple of things wrong with your approach...first, you are talking about YOUR fantasy of being with a couple. Remember, when and IF a couple decides to add you to the mix for a MFM adventure - it's all about THEIR fantasy, not yours... you are being brought into their world and if you ever want to experience that, you'll need to change your approach so that it's more 'other centered'. Second, there are a million guys out there who want to 'join in on some threesome action'. If you want to stand a chance, you'll need to be better looking, smarter, funnier, more respectful and more creative (and it would help if you had a 9 inch cock and a 6 inch tongue) than everyone else. Being married isn't a bonus and many couples feel strongly about not wanting the 'mess' that can come of a discovered fling. I commend you for you honesty (don't change that part).

Couples and/or women.. please chime in.

Be nice, play safe, have fun!


zenyen 66M

4/13/2005 6:21 pm

DM, I've been on the system a couple years + vs. a couple of months. I'm also a married man in the same situation. I prefer 3-somes with married couples. One reason is because I don't have to worry as much about complications from a single female expecting more out of the relationship. Married couples aren't looking to change theirs and consequently, aren't looking to change mine. I think the reason a lot of couples, besides the self-righteous ones, don't want married men without their wife is because of the possibility of having to deal with a jealous spouse. But some couples may prefer a married man for the same reason I prefer married couples, as well as the reasons you have stated. If they state no married men in their profile, I don't contact them.

I rarely get any response to emails I send out - less than 5 in a 100. Yes, I've sent hundreds; the key here is perseverance. The numbers are against men - about 12 to 1, in case you haven't noticed. Maybe a little better for men looking for couples. Yes, the competition here is pretty stiff.

But it's possible to have that 3-some you want - I've had several - but it takes a lot of work. And I've always been honest about my situation, so I think you're right there. When I finally meet with a couple I want to keep meeting with them since it's so hard to get that meeting. I don't want that ruined by lies coming back to bite me. And they have a right to know the truth; you want people to tell you the truth, don't you? I think you're on the right track - you just need to keep on keeping on. Send nice, polite, considerate emails, nothing rude, crude, or lewd.

P. S. I don't do dick pics - turns a lot of them off. Just read the blogs.

Kitty_n_BigGuy 44M/45F
218 posts
8/2/2007 11:39 am

As a female who is part of a couple (not looking for a guy to 3-some with though), I agree with the two posts above. First off, for any guy, this all takes a lot of patience and perserverance. Having a profile and pics that stand out from the crowd (aka body/face shots, even if you blur out identifying features) is the way to go. It gets so tiresome looking at cock shot after cock shot that we stop paying attention to those profiles. Have a original and individual profile as well, to stand out from the crowd. I commend you on your honesty, it's the only way to go, and will be attractive to people, I'm sure.

Paying attention to what a couple states on their profile (aka no men) is also of utmost importance. And remember, it takes a while for even couples looking for couples to find that good match, so it's reasonable to expect it to take a lot longer for you, as a guy. But it's worth it. We've seen guy friends of ours hook up succesfully. Post in your blog, in the group, come out to the Meet and Greets, get exposure so people get familiar with your handle and get a sense of you. Who knows who you'll come across. Best of luck !

Oh, and one more thing... about the double standard with some couples having no trouble with married women versus married men. It's not our case personally, but a married woman is more rarely looking for a couple, where as many, MANY married men will contact a couple, even when it's stated that they are not seeking this. I can agree with people wanting to avoid the "mess" factor. Why bother having to sneak around and not being able to call a man to arrange a date when it's simpler with a single man. And then there's the factor of a couple swinging together is celebrating their strong sense of intimacy and communication, and the strength of their bond that allows them to play with others.... and involving someone who i cheating on their wife probably feels contrary to all that. I guess that's probably got a something to do with it. Anyways.. once again, best of luck, and welcome to the group ! We don't judge

Kitty & BigGuy

Moderators, Ottawa - Capital Sex

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