How Can You Be Loved and NOT Feel It?  

rm_dluvdoc 62M/44F
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6/12/2006 6:03 am

Last Read:
6/12/2006 6:22 am

How Can You Be Loved and NOT Feel It?

When we all first begin dating and there is the special chemistry present, what happens? A feeling that is hard to describe, correct? How does one get that feeling? They are made to feel very special.

There are three ways in which one can show love. When all three are used at the same time, you guessed it, that special feeling remains alive. The three different ways of showing love are.....

The spoken word......................hearing it.
Touch ...............................feeling it.
Flowers, candy, gifts .............. seeing it.

What happens after a period of time, one or two of these may diminish. Not as many gifts or doing special things together. Not as many "Your very special, I love you...." Or a reduction in the caressing, massage, etc.

Spend a few minutes determining which of the three ways of feeling loved is the most important for you....Touch, hearing, sight?

Now, take the same time and look at your current relationship or past relationships and determine what was your partners primary way of feeling loved?

One tends to use their primary avenue (touch, sight, sound)as the principle way of showing their love to their partner. Yet, if their partner's primary way of feeling loved is different from their significant other, what happens? They may be showing love to each other but it doesn't appear to each other as if it is happening.

For example, men are typically raised in society as having to be the provider. They work and provide for the family, do the lawn, keep the house repaired....this is an extension of giving gifts, yet is not seen as such as the relationship matures. As they do this, the special gifts such as flowers, jewelry, etc. may diminish. Men tend to be less verbal about their feelings. Thus over time, they may not tell their wife how they are loved as much as the wife would expect to hear.

The wife may require either touch or hearing as the principal way of feeling loved. What has happened? They may each be using their own special way to show their love to their partner, but since it isn't their partner's primary method of feeling love, it is not fully felt.

Now let's look back at when they first met, all three methods were equally used resulting in that special feeling. Over time, this changes. Each partner using their primary way in which they feel loved attempts to demonstrate their love for their spouse. If they don't match, a problem begins as both may not feel as if they are as loved as before.

Once understood, each should take that special effort to use their spouse's primary method of feeling love to demonstrate their love for them.

Similar difference occur during the progression of sexual relations over time. At first, their was plenty of touching and special words. In time this also changes and then misconceptions are made.

It is important that each partner knows the primary sense of their significant other.

Women require more foreplay than men in general. Men typically totally forget the primary sexual organs? I would think most of the women would agree with me.

Men typically focus on the breasts and pussy, correct? The most important sexual organ is the brain. Think about it! Second, the largest sexual organ is the skin in general, not the skin in the areas first mentioned.

I think this gives you plenty to think about and experiment with for today. Tomorrow, I will discuss why sexual drives may appear to decrease.

Lend me end by sharing some information with you.

An 82 year old woman comes asking for help as her 88 year old husband is wanting to make love over 8 times a day. Yes, this is true. He was able and was wearing her out. Her problem was that he couldn't remember that they had done it, so he wanted to do it again.

This shows that sexual drive doesn't necessarily decrease with age and how higher mental capacity may restrict the desire. This makes we wonder if we were to get rid of inhibitions as described in early posting, what all of our sex lives would be like.

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