CARL, R.I.P  

rm_dizzyandfun 49F
1211 posts
8/26/2006 12:07 pm

Last Read:
9/9/2006 7:41 am

CARL, R.I.P

I am having trouble believing the things that are happening around here lately. Today Milly and I went SHOPPING. Yes folks..shopping!! A major change in itself ( Dizz doesnt shop lol). Milly bought some cool sexy clothes but then..then...we went to a SUPERMARKET . God !! All very intersting. Didnt buy much, but..we did buy a crab. A dead crab. A cooked crab. Well..inside it was cooked. So, folks..meet Carl. Carl the crab. Carl the defunct, dead crab. Again, very interesting. But..what to do with it ( or him?? Lack of respect there? hmmm). Neither of us had any idea so...being a product of the internet - we googled it. Good old Delia.
First thing that came up was a truly impressive array of what can only be described as Torture Instruments. Picks. Hammers. Thumb (claw) screws. Little pointy things. Needless to say my kitchen didnt have any of them!! (was going to use my handcuffs to tie him doen but he was dead so there was no fun in that!! Carl...not Milly...
Anyway, leaving the destructions on screen, and preparing the operating table ( paper serviettes..knives..scalpels..sick bag..) Milly proceeded to attack. Benji assisting. I decamped to the kitchen (now that I know where it is) and left them to it. ( I m clever..thats where the wine is stored lol). Apart from the odd yelp and "fuck me...what is this shit??" being shouted around it was all pretty quiet for about half an hour.
About half hour and a couple of glasses of wine later I went to see how the intrpeid two were doing. Sorry, three. Apologies, Carl. Mere slip of the tongue.
The operation was deemed a success..smiles all round..benji strutting his stuff and Milly with a grin from ear to ear, I looked at the designated plate for Carls remains..and there it (they?) was. About a teaspoon of white gooey stuff, with some brown bits strewn around. Suspicious looking brown stuff.
Turns out that was IT. The whole shebang. Carl mutilated and Tortured for what?? A teaspoon of STUFF?? Sorry, I have just been corrected. TWO teaspoons of STUFF. One which we think is edible, and one which is..well...dodgy Lol. we re just...not sure pmsl.
Milly, being the alpha male around here ( benji also being a bit dodgy) will let us know tomorrow, seeing as he was brave enough to actually taste the STUFF.
Me...I PASS. And have my doubts now about dear old Delia. How COULD she????
I know exactly what I m making for dinner tomorrow night..a reservation. For two. Anywhere they DONT sell CRABS.

Love
Dizzy xxx

Milly can send his own..after he´s brushed his teeth. And taken the mortal remains of Carl to the bin....



parkingspacereq 46M

8/26/2006 4:10 pm

glad to know all 3 of you are alive and well, you could have eaten the brown meat as well lol
uncle pxxxx
RIP CARL


rm_dizzyandfun 49F
752 posts
8/27/2006 3:38 pm

Parky....he DID eat the "dark meat" lol. And survived !!
Heav..great to see you back on here love..catch up soon??

Love
Diz xx


TheQuietGuy2005 56M
2386 posts
8/29/2006 3:51 pm

I wouldn't want to detract from Milly's display of sheer machismo but {whispers} you really should get a lot more meat from a crab unless it's a really, really small one!

Well done Milly! Sorry but I'm not going to send you a kiss as Heavenly did even if you DO brush your teeth!


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