The Dating Game at 39  

rm_deaminveni 51M
139 posts
9/27/2005 12:12 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Dating Game at 39


Well, I could wallow in self pity, but what's the point. It's really not my style. Here I am, 39 in November, successful professionally, well-educated (despite the spelling - lol), and, for the majority of my adult life, sexually active. So what's my beef?

Fustration! That's my beef. I'm the kinda guy that's the life and sole of a party, but only when I'm comfortable with the people I'm with! If I'm with new people I worry about offending someone by making an inappropriate remark. I know I'm not alone in this but it does make the dating game very hard and here's why...

Consider; your shy in situations with people you don't know, once you know them your happy to act the ass and be "fun, fun, fun", you work in a heavily male dominated industry, and you're heavily into your work. Right, find a date!

It's hard. Well, it's hard for me. I don't really like clubbing - you can't talk. I'm too shy to approach women I don't know in bars or other social occassions. Is it simply because I have a low self image? I don't think so!

I'm a great guy. Kind, attentive and generally fun (hey, we all have off days). I have a wonderful life, my own house, my own business, and when I do hook up with a woman the sex is great (well, I've enjoyed it and they've all come back for more - lol). Okay I ain't got the body of Adonis, the looks of a film star, and I can't fuck like a porn star (though I always try to please ) but that's all window dressing. If you both enjoy being together what does it matter if you're a little "full in the figure", or can't manage more than an hours foreplay, or can't fuck for day?

So what's the problem?

Making contact! Meeting the kinda person I want to spend time with. I've had two great relationships but they went wrong. Why, I do not know. We simply "grew apart", their words not mine. Fine. I know I focus a lot on my work and that's certainly been a problem.

What I need are casual relationships. Women who make no demands but simply enjoy the time we spend together (and no, I don't mean just in the sack!).

I just want a woman to share some fun times with without the baggage of a relationship. Going out, walks, dining out on good food and fine wine, and good company without all the shit about feeling bad because I can't make it to her work's dinner. Not needing to remember birthdays or aniversaries. I don't want to get it in the neck because I didn't call EVERY day. I'm not going to get pissed because she didn't call. I'm not going to get upset because she can't make the weekend in Rome.

BUT, let's face it, I'm a man. I can't change that (well, I suppose I could but I ain't gonna - lol). Women in my life are treated well (I just don't know any other way). I enjoy sex and I have a high sex drive, I need a woman who wants to play in the bedroom as well as enjoy other recreations with me. SEX. It's fun. It's recreation. It's the very best way to relax.

To be honest I've recently turned to escorts (ok, "women of negotable affection") and they're great! It's brilliant to meet a stranger (or even someone you've come to know) and have a fantastic night's sex with absolutely no strings attached! It's a near perfect solution. A simple financial transaction guarantees a night of sexual fun with a woman who's there to be my playmate.

"Nearly perfect" because I'd rather be with women who really wants to be with me but do not demand all the other relationship baggage. I know there are many women out there looking for fun both in and out of bed. Now it's just a question of finding them!

So, AdultFriendFinder seems like a good solution. Everyone here is out to meet someone, and that someone is a potential bedroom play pal. So approaching women is easier because the worst that can happen is that I'm not their someone. Nothing to loose.

dano6332 57M

9/27/2005 5:46 pm

Man I know how you feel. Try it as newly divorced at 45 while paying a large hunk of money to the ex weekly. Seriously just hang in there. I started the exact same way as you scoping profiles then a woman turned me onto the blogs and things changed. I became friends with a lot of great people and was not as "eager" on my profile and hunting. It worked, women began writing me and yes there have been some dates etc. NOW relax and just start hitting more sites and make sure you blog until people start reading you. They will read the more sites you comment on as it is sort of a courtesy thing.

Hang in there


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